Wedding Customs & Traditions Forum

Home v. Hotel?

We are getting married in the town where we live. We are already renting a house that we will be in for next year also. The reception venue is connected to a hotel where some of our guests are staying, but FI and I have both been going back and forth about whether we'd would rather stay there, or go back to our own place (only 10 min away). A part of me thinks it would be kind of cool to get to spend our first night as husband and wife in our home. It would feel very personal, and also help save a bit of money that we could put towards our limited honeymoon fund instead. FI and I are planning on being apart a few days before the wedding anyway (our BM is coming into town early, and FI is going to get a room at a local hotel and stay with him), so I have some time to get the house clean and welcoming, set up the bedroom with fresh bedsheets and some candles. But I also know it might feel special to have a night away, too -- plus it will just be so much easier to get to from the reception!

Thoughts? Experiences?


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Re: Home v. Hotel?

  • We stayed at the hotel for purely practical reasons; we wanted to drink and not drive. Plus it was nice to run up to the room where all our stuff was in between the ceremony and cocktail hour to touch up makeup. We also had the bridal party stash stuff in their since they all had different plans; some stayed at that hotel but didn't check in until after the ceremony, some stayed at other hotels, some went home that night, but it gave them all a place to keep things safe while we did pictures/ceremony/cocktails. 

    I recommend thinking about what is the most practical plan for you two on that day. Your first night as husband and wife will be meaningful no matter where you spend it. 
  • holyguacamole79holyguacamole79 a taco truck in Houston member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We stayed in a hotel.   It was nice not having to worry about cleaning and other stuff.  We chose a nearby hotel that wasn't the one where our friends / family were staying.  It was nice to feel more "alone" after a day of craziness.   

    I agree with Charlotte. .. your first night will be special no matter where you are. 
  • Thanks, ladies! I know it will feel special no matter what, too, and look forward to our time alone regardless of where we are staying. I think the practical side is where we are waffling back and forth -- no driving vs. free place to stay where all our stuff is already (including a fridge with snacks!).  

    However, @charlotte989875, I really liked your point about having a place for the bridal party to keep their belongings. I'm going to add that to our "pro" list for the hotel. 

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  • We stayed at a hotel. 

    I am a home-body, but at the same time, I do like to go "away" some times. I feel like when we're at home, we get sucked into doing our own things, or feel like we have to do chores or whatever. But when you go away, you can't do all that stuff- feels more like a vacation. 

    That's a personal thing though- so up to you! 

    Our hotel also included a decent breakfast, so that was nice- cooking done! And were able to spend the morning pretty leisurely. 
  • We stayed in a hotel, but it was an hour and a half or so from our wedding location. We got married in the morning, had a lunch reception, left to check into the hotel, and had dinner at the Melting Pot, just the two of us. We continued on to our honeymoon the next day.
  • emmaaaemmaaa North Carolina mod
    Moderator 2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary
    We stayed at a hotel. We have 3 dogs and had planned for someone to take care of them while we were gone. I kind of liked the idea of not having to take care of them that night. It was also more practical for us because we wanted to be able to drink and we just had a car take us to the hotel. Plus it was close to the interstate so we could easily get on the road to FL for the honeymoon.

  • DarthV8rDarthV8r member
    250 Love Its Third Anniversary 100 Comments Name Dropper
    edited February 2016
    If I were in your situation, I would uber ourselves home.   It will be nice to have extra cash durring  the honeymoon, and have a good rest in your own bed after the wedding.  

  • labrolabro Hotlanta member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    We stayed in a hotel. We hosted my ILs in our house so there was no way in hell I was spending my wedding night having to share any sort of space with anyone other than my H. Plus it was kind of fun to stay in a nicer than normal hotel in a nicer room than we'd normally book and we got an amazing in-room breakfast as part of our package.

    re drinking: It's not really a money saver...but if you're worried about that, do you have the budget available for a limo rental of some sort that can pick you up at your venue and take you home? Getting driven around town after the wedding was kind of nice and let us come down a bit from all the reception energy before we arrived at the hotel and settled in. And we didn't have to worry about drinking and driving.

  • jenna8984jenna8984 clam bakes & patriots member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    We drove 45 minutes home (we don't drink) and stayed at our home. Didn't see the point in spending the money on a hotel when we were going on a honeymoon right away. I really liked being in my own home, he carried me over the threshold, and I could take my dress off and hang it right in my closet and not have to pack an extra bug or lug my dress home.



  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    We went home after the reception.  We did not marry at a hotel (if we did - we probably would have had a room) and most hotels were farther away than our actual house.  We had already arranged for a ride home from the reception with a DD.

    My BMs and I were already getting ready at our house and having pictures taken there, so I had to clean up the house and have it ready regardless. 

    Our venue had a bridal party room for us, so my BMs were able to keep their stuff in the limo during our ceremony (at a church) and then in the bridal room once we got to the reception.

    If not getting a hotel room can help extend your honeymoon by even a day, I would do that.  As much as I enjoyed spending the quiet time with H after our wedding and the next day at home, it was even more amazing when we had our 2 night mini-moon at a B&B in a nearby state.  We married on a Friday and went to the B&B on Sunday and came back on Tuesday.  Check out Livingsocial or Groupon to see what hotel stays they have available in a drivable location.  You might be able to get a really good deal!

  • tigerlily6tigerlily6 member
    500 Love Its 500 Comments First Anniversary Name Dropper
    edited February 2016
    Thanks for all the input, everybody! It's helpful to hear the different plans and reasoning behind them. 

    @emmaaa, good thought on the pets. We have a dog and I was thinking about that too... hyper dog who likes to jump up on me + wedding dress might not go well. However, I think I may have him boarded beforehand anyway, since I don't know who would be able to dog-sit him during our wedding day (our neighbors are a tad passive aggressive towards us in general, so they're out of the question, and all our other friends in town are invited to the wedding). 

    @DarthV8r and @labro I love the idea of being chaperoned back home. We don't have a limo service in town, and renting one from the nearest city (a bit over an hour away) is pretty crazy expensive. But we do have uber and a local taxi. FI and I don't really plan on drinking very much -- in fact, I have made FI promise not to do so, because, well, wedding night. However, I know it's easy to SAY you'll just have one more drink, and another thing to do so; also, we may be pretty tired. So better be safe than sorry. I am going to look into transportation options.

    One thing this conversation has also made me realize is that I should see what kind of breakfast options the hotel offers. They don't have a continental breakfast or a restaurant attached, so my guess is that it would probably just be room service. We are planning on having a "brunch" later that morning for guests who may still be in town, so I don't think we'd do a big breakfast, but we will probably want something.

    ETA: @OliveOilsMom, thank you for the advice! We haven't settled on a destination for our honeymoon yet, just the timing and budget. But if we had even an extra $150, I think that could be used well towards slightly higher quality lodging for the honeymoon or a fancy dinner. I will check out those sites!

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  • At one of my girlfriend's weddings, the newlyweds went home after the wedding. She said she wanted to sleep in her own bed, and really didn't want to deal with her family wandering the hotel in the morning. Plus, it was quiet, as opposed to the hotel where others were up and drinking all night. If you want that kind of peace and solitude, I'd save it and head home.
    "There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness." -Friedrich Nietzsche, "On Reading and Writing"
  • We're staying at a hotel the night before and the night after our wedding. We could very easily take a 20 min cab ride home afterwards but there's a hotel chain in our town that I absolutely love, and this was a perfect excuse to stay. Plus we're looking forward to having a really nice breakfast together the morning of and after our wedding without having to cook it or clean up after. 

    We also wanted to make sure it felt a bit special - we'd never have a reason to stay at a hotel in our city normally, so why not? No one else coming to our wedding is staying at our hotel, so it will feel even more like a little romantic retreat, I think. 
  • We stayed at the lodge (really didn't have an option since home was an 8 hr drive away) and I wouldn't have had it any other way. It was nice to have the room to run to after the ceremony and have a moment together and have a place to store all of our things. It is crazy how fast the wedding goes and you don't feel like you have time to really have a conversation with everyone so we enjoyed meeting up with guests in the morning and having breakfast with them.

    If we had come home I know how we are and it wouldn't have been relaxing, it would have been cleaning and putting things away, in a hotel you really feel like you are on vacation.

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  • We originally planned to stay at home but ended up at a hotel.  Our apartment is about a half hour away from our venues so it wasn't a big deal to drive back and forth but on a whim we checked out this really quaint old hotel in a town that was halfway between our two venues.  It turned out to be ridiculously reasonable and with our AAA discount we got two nights for the price of one.  We stayed there the night before and night of the wedding.  Logistically it really was easier to stay closer to the venues but if we had only been ten minutes away from home we definitely would have just gone back there at the end of the night.
  • We stayed at the closest hotel to the venue, nothing fancy or nice just a practical choice. I would have been fine going back home if it was closer bc I was sober, H was super wasted and I was wide awake til nearly 4am - woulda been nice to have been wide awake at home 
  • edited February 2016
    We're staying at a Bed & Breakfast for 2 nights after the wedding. It's a 30 minute drive from the reception, but the B & B is located in a cute (tiny) winery town literally two blocks from the Missouri river. We plan on tasting local wines, and taking the B & B's bikes for a roll along the river.

    The 2 nights only allows us to save for our actual honeymoon which will be in summer.

    We honestly can't fathom going home right after, our dog would not leave us alone for a minute and like usual would be bouncing off the walls/furniture. {Yes...the dog is keeping us away, lol....}
  • edited March 2016
    We went home on our wedding night. The nice thing for us is that we packed up the car & headed home. We got out of our wedding attire & were able to relax. We live only 5 minutes from the venue. For us the idea of not having to pack an overnight bag & then having to pack up any gifts the next morning to be taken to a car & then have to unload the presents, overnight bags & our wedding attire was a big motivator. We were leaving on our honeymoon 2 days later, so we saved the special nights for that. And as for the morning after, we had gotten tickets for an NFL game the day after our wedding (we got the gift early so we could plan) so we had to get up early to head down to the stadium. It was easier to get ready for that at home instead of leaving the hotel, going home, unpacking the car, getting changed & going to the game. Because there was no way I was taking our car with our wedding attire & gifts & leaving it in a parking lot with lots of drunken football fans and no security.
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