Wedding Invitations & Paper

Thank you cards

I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?

Re: Thank you cards

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with @glasgowtolondon. You shouldn't be thanking them for a gift unless they gave you gift which in that case the thank you should be personal - not a generic thank you at a place setting. You would still be making table visits and/or a receiving line to thank your guests for attending. Skip this idea.
     
    SP29
  • SP29SP29 member
    Sixth Anniversary 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Agreed.

    Be sure to thank each of your guests in person at the wedding, either via receiving line or table visits.

    Written TY notes would be for a gift received, and should be written and mailed to the giver in a timely fashion upon receipt of the gift.
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?
    What if you have a guest that does not attend?  Will you go around at the end of the reception retrieving unnoticed cards? 
  • I love table visits and think this is a great way to thank your guests for joining you at your wedding. After the wedding is over, personalized thank you cards should be done for any gifts received.

    Story - I received a thank you note within a week of the wedding and initially thought that the bride was really on top of things. Unfortunately, the thank you made no mention of the gift that we provided at the reception and I wasn't really sure how to follow up with the bride. This was about 10 years ago and I have never found out if she actually received our gift.

    OurWildKingdomMairePoppy
  • It is very tacky to try and save postage by putting a proper thank you note at the guests place setting.  Cheap, cheap, cheap!  Mail them properly.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    STARMOON44
  • I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

    Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone. 
  • JediElizabethJediElizabeth member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    edited March 2016
    I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

    Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone. 
    I think this is fine - your original post was unclear - but maybe better put in the program or the foot of the menu so no one has the wrong idea and thinks they won't get an actual thank you card later.
    OurWildKingdomholyguacamole79
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

    Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone. 
    How would you know whether a guest brought a gift?  Do you plan on opening gifts and cards brought to the reception during the cocktail hour?  Just because you see something on Pinterest doesn't mean the idea is a good one.
    OurWildKingdomInLoveInQueensSTARMOON44
  • I do plan on sending personalized thank you card for each gift received. This was more directed for those that attend but did not bring a gift. I still want to thank them for attending of course, and had seen an idea on Pinterest where they had put a general thank you letter on top of all the plates (read something similar to friends and family: it means the world to have you hear tonight. Thank you for the support, encouragement in our lives, etc.)

    Think I may forgo this idea as I do not want to upset anyone. 


    I'm glad that your intention was to send thank you notes for any gifts received. Thanks for clarifying.

    Honestly, I think just saying the thank you for attending the celebration is best in person. It will save money on stationary and will seem more thoughtful.

    Heffalump
  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I have seen this done and have no problem with it. I don't think it is necessary though and shouldn't replace speaking to each of your guests. Your original post was unclear - looked like the letter was in place of a proper thank you note sent for each gift.
    OurWildKingdom
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    You should thank them for coming by personal interacting with them after the ceremony, not by leaving a card at their place setting. 
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    MairePoppyCMGragaincharlotte989875STARMOON44
  • climbingwifeclimbingwife NYC 'burbs member
    10000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    edited March 2016
    I don't like this idea at all. It feels impersonal. You should thank each person directly for attending, either during a receiving line or during table visits. Send thank you cards after for anyone that gave you a gift. 

    MairePoppycharlotte989875STARMOON44
  • Jen4948Jen4948 Houston member
    10000 Comments Seventh Anniversary 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    I am considering adding a thank you card with the napkins at the dinner reception. Would this be tacky? I am afraid people may view it as impersonal by not getting a mailed thank you card instead. What are your views?
    Don't do it.  Cards at place settings, with the same wording on it for everybody, doesn't make anyone feel "thanked" or "appreciated" for attending.  The only way to do that is to personally thank your guests, in a receiving line, by going to each table, or both.  And definitely don't do it in lieu of sending personalized thank-you notes for gifts, which is a must.
    InLoveInQueenscharlotte989875
  • If I went to a wedding and saw a general thank you note at my place setting I would initially think "Oh wow how sweet" and then when I looked around and saw that everyone else got the exact same thing I'd think "Oh, Pintrest" and would become concerned that you meant this to be your actual "thank you for coming" instead of personal visits. I'd just skip them and put the money elsewhere.
    image
    CaitFins
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    Be careful, Pinterest is full of bad ideas. There is nothing personal about a generic thank you for attending note left at each place setting. Are the notes intended to take the place of favors? If so, you can skip them, since favors aren't required. You should greet every guest at your reception and thank them for coming. The wedding reception is your thank you to guests for attending the ceremony, no need to write thank you notes for attendance. Personal, handwritten thank you notes should be sent to anyone who gives you a gift.
                       
  • Maggie0829Maggie0829 Ravens & Bohs & Crabs & O's member
    Eighth Anniversary 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    Well seeing as the reception is in itself a thank you to the guests, a generic thank you note at each place setting is redundant and super impersonal.

    Personal interaction > a generic thank you note.

  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    I went to a wedding where they did this. It wasn't rude or anything, just a little cheesy IMO. The messages are usually super over the top, language wise, and so they come off as insincere because of being mass-printed with little curlicues and designs. Plus, you'd spend at least $50 getting them designed, printed, and shipped, I would imagine. Save the $50 and get a gel pedicure or something :smirk: 
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
  • It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.
  • It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.
    what?
  • MairePoppyMairePoppy Connecticut mod
    Moderator Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    It would be a nice idea to thanks your guests on the occasion. Later you may skip anyone by mistake that may create a bad impression. Also people coming to attend your wedding might get overwhelmed by receiving special attention towards guests.
    Please improve personal quality.
                       
    [Deleted User]thespeshulestsnowflakesparklepants41InLoveInQueens
  • We thanked everyone for coming during our toasts, and on the back of our favors, we put a sticker that said, thank you for sharing our special day with us. We sent thank you cards out for the gifts about 2 weeks later. We had 2 guests that didn't bring any gifts, but I still wrote them a Thank you card because they were GM and I wanted to thank them for being special part of our special day because they didn't have to accept being GM.
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