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Discussing money with FPIL

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Re: Discussing money with FPIL

  • MandTFebruary62011MandTFebruary62011 member
    Third Anniversary 100 Love Its 100 Comments Name Dropper
    I did get the impression from the original post that she is trying to shelter or protect him from having to deal with it because he's so busy... not necessarily that he thinks he doesn't have the time.  I would be interested to know which situation this is right now.  

    If she's trying to save him from having to deal with wedding stuff then she is putting a lot of unnecessary stress on herself.  He may be busy, but he may also be totally willing/able to do this if you just talk to him about it as well.  Don't be the martyr and see if he can call his family to get some clarification before you start moving forward.
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  • pinkcow13pinkcow13 member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2016
    Meh, to be honest, it's never a 10 minute conversation with my mom. And I personally have to sometimes prepare myself before calling my parents lol.

    With that being said. If you can afford to pay for what you planned, then do it. If they don't give you the money, so be it, circumstances may have changed. And if they do give you the money, you can just put it in the bank account. I guess I just don't see what the issue is?

    FWIW, my parents offered to give us money for the wedding. I never once asked them for the money. We budgeted for everything with the money we had in hand, which was ours. My parents did end up giving us some money for the wedding, but I could never have imagined being like "Soooo, where's this dough you promised us? Pay up!"
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  • ScottishSarahScottishSarah member
    500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 100 Comments First Answer
    When my sister got married in 2013 my dad paid for their honeymoon, (luxury trip to Bali and Singapore) so I admit, it did cross our minds that he might do something similar for us.  However, we did not bring it up with him, and planned the wedding we could afford without any parental contribution.  

    Last week he told us  what his contribution would be...  Hot tub hire for the reception!  Crazy stuff!  I personally am really excited about this, as me and my bridesmaids can chill out the day before the wedding in the tub with some wine and it will add some fun to the after party.  

    But I guess my point is, parents will contribute what they want, and there is no way of knowing what it will be.  
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  • emmy72emmy72 member
    Third Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
    edited April 2016

    Still LOLing at the fact that I just had to scroll through probably a dozen back-and-forth comments debating over what OP's FI does every day.

    Regardless, yeah, I'd let FI handle this. Let him know you DO NOT feel comfortable putting any more $ down than you can reasonably afford. If he can't muster up a conversation with his parents about money after hearing that from you, then you'll have to plan on budgeting with JUST your money.

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