I have a friend with whom I was extremely close from elementary through high school and into college. When she got engaged I was her first call after her parents, and when she was married the summer after college graduation I was her maid of honor.
Since then, our lives have gone in pretty different directions. I'm having a hard time articulating what exactly is different with each of us now, but for one thing she has become much more of a homebody and I have become much less of one. It's a classic case of drifting apart. Well, we live in the same city after each having moved here from our small hometown as adults. I see her at mutual friends' events, and it is always fun to catch up.
She and her husband will absolutely be invited to the wedding, but I am having a hard time deciding whether to ask her to be a bridesmaid. My first inclination would be no, since she is no longer in the nearest-and-dearest category and I know wedding party invitations aren't tit for tat. But I would hate for her feelings to be hurt, and it wouldn't bother me in the slightest to go from 2 to 3 attendants. Also in the mix is the fact that when a mutual friend got married a year before she did, she expressed hurt at not being asked to stand up at their wedding, so I know being in the bridal party means something to her. Although that was almost 10 years ago, so who knows how her opinions may have changed.
So what would you folks do? Ask her for old times' sake and to avoid potential hurt feelings, or leave it alone?