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Wedding Woes

Just need to vent

VarunaTTVarunaTT member
Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
edited April 2016 in Wedding Woes
Got a sweet parting shot from former DH.  He had stayed in my atheist group (you know, the one I basically grew from 70 to 450+ members, won awards for, and a few other things that make it so completely my space), for whatever reason.  It felt like an invasion of privacy, but I kept my mouth shut.

The woman he had been flirting with/hitting on?  She is part of the group.  She unfriended him, sent a perfectly polite message telling him that we were good friends and she felt uncomfortable being his friend right now, but maybe in the future.  She even made sure to comment that I had nothing to do with her decision, that I didn't even know they were talking.  He was polite in her response back to her, basically, thanks for letting me know.

Former DH then messaged another leader in the group, and said that I was "poisoning" group members against him, that people had ignored him or shut him out, twisted the friend's quote to make it seem like I had asked her to unfriend him, and that he felt unsafe because of my tweet, "Former husband still invading my social circles, still can't find his own life I see." (which I fully admit was bitchy and mean...unsafe?  And this is the only tweet since November. Though it's not fair to compare, let's go ahead and count the number of FB posts I've had to endure being called a thief, a cheater, and a "heinous bitch.")  I didn't realize I hadn't blocked him on my Twitter account, so I did and locked it down for awhile too.  I now wonder if he's creeping me here too.  If so:



Yes, I realize exactly how immature I'm being.
charlotte989875Heffalump

Re: Just need to vent

  • You're not being immature IMO, I see why he's former DH. He sounds like a little kid! Let's go whine and complain because of your friend respecting you and telling him they can't be friends! Ugh how ridiculous and THAT was immature of him. I'm sorry you have to deal with that @VarunaTT ;, it sounds exhausting and completely unneeded. 

    VarunaTTkimmiinthemitten
  • That really sucks @VarunaTT. No rral advice, other than I'm sure I wouldn't be as professional as it sounds like you are on the group. 
    VarunaTT
  • Oh the message was to let leadership know he was leaving.  Which, honestly, is a huge relief and good that it was a voluntary departure.

    Thanks.  I just need to vent and I'm trying to spread my venting around.  I know people have to get tired of hearing it.  Your support network moves on faster than you do and I don't want to wear out welcomes everywhere.  This was the last space in my life that still really had to be shared though, so hopefully, between no more shared spaces and friends knowing I don't want his ugly posts shared with me, I should get some peace from that sector.
  • Add me to the you're not being immature, he is group.  I'm really pissed he's using unsafe like that.  I've been in groups/clubs with ex's where I felt unsafe because they'd been abusive.  I mostly left the group quietly, so they didn't notice me leaving.  It's a whole different thing than what your ex is doing.  It seems like he just wants attention and sympathy.  

    Glad that's one more way he's out of your life!  It doesn't sound like he's a good person to have around.
    VarunaTT
  • 6fsn6fsn member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its Name Dropper
    Dude, that's messed up.  I'm sorry he did that, but glad he left the group.
    VarunaTT
  • I'm probably a bit more sensitive to "unsafe" right now as the group recently had a situation where a current member's ex created a fake FB profile to infiltrate our FB group to continue stalking her electronically.  And the profile was GOOD:  close to 8 months old, had set up common friends, had a timeline going with posts, multiple likes and other groups, everything.  He had planned this out for months before requesting entrance.  It was the first time we'd ever had anything like that happen.  We threw out the fake and the real profile, sent her screenshots where he harassed various leaders and other members once we did it, etc.

    It caused us to re-evaluate some polices we have and discuss what we can truly offer in terms of "safety" when it comes to FB.
    scrunchythiefshort+sassy
  • Sounds like the trash was taking itself out of the group!


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  • Sorry to hear that!  But it sounds like it is just as well, now that he is leaving the group anyway.

    I had a b/f in college who did something like that.  It was a fairly small school with only two sororities (I was in one) and two fraternities (he was one).  Needless to say, we had a lot of mutual friends.  After he broke up with me, he sent a mass e-mail to his fraternity bros.  Yes, a mass e-mail to everyone in his chapter...except he'd graduated the semester before (rolling eyes)...to let them all know about the breakup.  He also asked them to follow the "bro code" and not ask me out.  That he would be very upset if they did.  Which a lot of them took as a threat, because he sometimes had a bad temper and was 6'1", 280 lbs. of muscle.

    He at least didn't bad mouth me at all.  Said we were still friends and he wished me well.  The sad thing is, we did end pretty amicably.  Until I heard about this e-mail.  Then, I was furious with him. 

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