Wedding Etiquette Forum

Well I did this. Where did I go wrong?

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Re: Well I did this. Where did I go wrong?

  • Pretty sure none of her friends  are  silently judging her for throwing a party where they all get to drink and have fun. 

    I wouldn't anyway. Unless she was requesting gifts or money or for them to help pay for something she decided to throw.  
    Just because some people don't mind it doesn't mean that it isn't rude and self attention seeking.  I know people who pick their noses in public and think that it's all right, too.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    ahoywedding[Deleted User]
  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    Oh, good. Another Knottienumbers to the rescue. Color me shocked.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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    TrixieJessMairePoppyPrettyGirlLostwink0erin
  • banana468 said:
    scribe95 said:
    If this is real, obviously I understand not wanting a baby at a Bachelorette party.

    But as someone mentioned above, designing your own party a few days before a destination wedding where your maid is traveling with a baby and doesn't have a husband around directly means she can't attend. It is a non invitation for her. So I do feel bad for her in a way. 

    Believe me I get wanting adult time.   But from the perspective of the BM, the bride essentially just said "You're invited to this really fun party I'm throwing myself that you can't possibly attend."   And now she's wondering why her friend is sad?  
    Everyone else has addressed the whole bad to throw a party in your own honour, so I won't.

    As for your BM not wanting to leave her 3 month old, have you specifically asked her? FI  and I didn't go on a date until our son was almost 4 months old. It was a Sunday afternoon movie. We had to time it so I could get back and nurse. By the time I got back to my son, I was leaking and engorged, it was 3 hours since we had left him with my step-mom. She also had a hard time feeding him because the bottle that he had been fine with when I had left him with daddy, he didn't want from Granny.

    Talk to your friend, maybe change your plans to include an earlier dinner somewhere. I used to take my son out to restaurants with friends all the time, he usually slept in the ring sling while I ate.
    SP29
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited April 2016
    Pff to all the people saying you shouldn't have thrown the party for yourself. I don't have a wedding party, and I'm not having a bachelorette party or bridal shower, but I do intend to have a pre wedding celebration with all my girls that I'm throwing for myself. Because I can. And who cares about etiquette.

    Long story short. Destination wedding in California. I'm having my bachelorette 2 days before the wedding to minimize multiple plane tickets for people. I'm renting a vacation home that's explicitly ok with parties that I plan to cram some 10-18 of my bridal party and old college friends in. 
    Sounds like you DO have a wedding party.

    Just curious- who is paying for this condo rental, and the party bus, and the wine tasting, and the bar hopping?

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    KnickerGold
  • @PrettyGirlLost Those are two different Knottie#s

    I feel bad for the friend with the baby, but I certainly don't think a party house is a good place for a baby either. The way she says "oh he's quiet!" makes me think she feels like her baby is the nuisance, when really, having a 3mo old around a huge group of rowdy drunk people is a terrible idea for the baby and the mother's sake. 

    I'd suggest finding a way to do something with this friend to get her out of her house with her baby on a day before the wedding. She is probably struggling right now essentially being a single mother and not being able to do fun things like 4am karaoke with her friends. 
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    mollybarker11
  • YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If you want to have all of your friends together in one house to celebrate your wedding go for it!! I am sure they wont be complaining about being able to get drunk and party all night. And that really wasn't even the point of this discussion!!! You were asking about the baby. I 100% agree that the baby should NOT be there. Having a kid, if you cannot find a sitter for an adult activity you need to be prepared not to attend!!! You have done nothing wrong and I couldn't agree with you more. People on this site are so weird.
    drunkenwitch
  • YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If you want to have all of your friends together in one house to celebrate your wedding go for it!! I am sure they wont be complaining about being able to get drunk and party all night. And that really wasn't even the point of this discussion!!! You were asking about the baby. I 100% agree that the baby should NOT be there. Having a kid, if you cannot find a sitter for an adult activity you need to be prepared not to attend!!! You have done nothing wrong and I couldn't agree with you more. People on this site are so weird.
    You're on this site. Right now.

                 
    PamBeesly524redwoodoriginalkimmiinthemitten
  • YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If you want to have all of your friends together in one house to celebrate your wedding go for it!! I am sure they wont be complaining about being able to get drunk and party all night. And that really wasn't even the point of this discussion!!! You were asking about the baby. I 100% agree that the baby should NOT be there. Having a kid, if you cannot find a sitter for an adult activity you need to be prepared not to attend!!! You have done nothing wrong and I couldn't agree with you more. People on this site are so weird.
    I would absolutely prioritize a sick loved one over a party. I embrace being weird like that 

    lnixon8thefanciestbeckler
  • YOU DID NOTHING WRONG. If you want to have all of your friends together in one house to celebrate your wedding go for it!! I am sure they wont be complaining about being able to get drunk and party all night. And that really wasn't even the point of this discussion!!! You were asking about the baby. I 100% agree that the baby should NOT be there. Having a kid, if you cannot find a sitter for an adult activity you need to be prepared not to attend!!! You have done nothing wrong and I couldn't agree with you more. People on this site are so weird.
    I would absolutely prioritize a sick loved one over a party. I embrace being weird like that 
    Ragret. That is all.
    Wedding Countdown Ticker





    drunkenwitchTrixieJess
  • Pff to all the people saying you shouldn't have thrown the party for yourself. I don't have a wedding party, and I'm not having a bachelorette party or bridal shower, but I do intend to have a pre wedding celebration with all my girls that I'm throwing for myself. Because I can. And who cares about etiquette.

    Long story short. Destination wedding in California. I'm having my bachelorette 2 days before the wedding to minimize multiple plane tickets for people. I'm renting a vacation home that's explicitly ok with parties that I plan to cram some 10-18 of my bridal party and old college friends in. 
    Sounds like you DO have a wedding party.

    Just curious- who is paying for this condo rental, and the party bus, and the wine tasting, and the bar hopping?

    I think you've combined two separate posts thinking they are the same person. 
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Pff to all the people saying you shouldn't have thrown the party for yourself. I don't have a wedding party, and I'm not having a bachelorette party or bridal shower, but I do intend to have a pre wedding celebration with all my girls that I'm throwing for myself. Because I can. And who cares about etiquette.

    Long story short. Destination wedding in California. I'm having my bachelorette 2 days before the wedding to minimize multiple plane tickets for people. I'm renting a vacation home that's explicitly ok with parties that I plan to cram some 10-18 of my bridal party and old college friends in. 
    Sounds like you DO have a wedding party.

    Just curious- who is paying for this condo rental, and the party bus, and the wine tasting, and the bar hopping?

    I think you've combined two separate posts thinking they are the same person. 
    Yep, easy to do with Knottie#'s

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
    Please improve personal quality, PGL.
    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • PrettyGirlLostPrettyGirlLost A Land Filled with Unicorns and Cat Hair member
    5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    Please improve personal quality, PGL.
    Reported for personal attack!

    "Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."


    thefanciestbeckler[Deleted User]

  • Sounds like you DO have a wedding party.

    Just curious- who is paying for this condo rental, and the party bus, and the wine tasting, and the bar hopping?

    I think you've combined two separate posts thinking they are the same person. 
    Yep, easy to do with Knottie#'s

    Agreed! Just trying to clarify for those keeping up. 
  • ShesSoColdShesSoCold bend over and I'll show ya mod
    Moderator 5000 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its
  • edited April 2016
    I'm lost on this, @ShesSoCold
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