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Maid of Honor Issues!

mbossonembossone member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited April 2016 in Wedding Party
My cousin (and best friend) was my maid of honor...

Long story short, we had a falling out and she texted me that she no longer wanted to be a part of the wedding. We have not spoke since December! (I tried a couple of times to fix it but nothing ever came out of it)

My family is insisting that the right thing to do is invite her to the wedding still, put the ball in her court, and I just can't bring myself to do it!

Do I still invite her to the wedding, even though she backed out and we haven't spoken in months? Or should I completely remove from the guest list?!

Help! Thank you :)
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Re: Maid of Honor Issues!

  • ernursejernursej member
    First Answer First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its
    Agree with PPs. Also, do not replace her in your wedding party.
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    edited April 2016
    I do not understand how someone can go from "cousin and best friend" to not speaking in such a short time.  This makes no sense at all, unless she slept with your FI.
    I think there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • AddieCakeAddieCake member
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    CMGragain said:
    I do not understand how someone can go from "cousin and best friend" to not speaking in such a short time.  This makes no sense at all, unless she slept with your FI.
    I think there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us.
    Not necessarily. My heinous cousin and I went from BFFs to not speaking for a few years overnight when I told her I might not be able to attend her wedding if she changed the date to what they were thinking of because I would be visiting my mother at that time, and she informed me she was tired of me putting everyone else before family. 

    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
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  • justsiejustsie member
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    CMGragain said:
    I do not understand how someone can go from "cousin and best friend" to not speaking in such a short time.  This makes no sense at all, unless she slept with your FI.
    I think there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us.
    My cousin stole from most of her family to get a boyfriend out of jail. You better bet I went from best friend with her to not speaking real quick. 
    image
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  • SP29SP29 member
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    CMGragain said:
    I do not understand how someone can go from "cousin and best friend" to not speaking in such a short time.  This makes no sense at all, unless she slept with your FI.
    I think there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us.
    It happens. Without the sleeping around.

    My mom and one of her best friends growing up were in each others wedding parties. They had a huge blow up and fall out (and I think it may have had something to do with a bridesmaids dress) and didn't talk for 15 years. I am sure both sides were more than stubborn. But they have since rekindled their friendship.

    OP- If you ever want to have a relationship with her again, invite her and leave the ball in her court.
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  • [Deleted User][Deleted User] member
    First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its First Comment
    I think it depends on where you would like to see your relationship with her go possibly in the future and what the reason for the fall out was. If you want to try to work things out, then I would send her an invite. Like your family says, then the ball is in her court. But if you have no interest in a relationship with her or if the reason for the fall out was for something that was unforgivable, like she tried to sleep with your FI, then I wouldn't.
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  • ei34ei34 member
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    Ditto PP.  Invite your cousin as a guest.  (Unless...did she sleep with your FI?  Beat up a family member?  I know you said long story short but it's hard to definitively say "invite her!".)  But baring something heinous, be the bigger person.
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
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    CMGragain said:
    I do not understand how someone can go from "cousin and best friend" to not speaking in such a short time.  This makes no sense at all, unless she slept with your FI.
    I think there is a lot more to this than the OP is telling us.
    Not necessarily. People change, but you might not see it until something dramatic happens. Or with family, you might ignore some shitty behavior until it gets to the point of relationship ending. 

    My SIL has always been selfish, self-centered, and manipulative, but I blamed it on her immaturity and looked past it. We were very close for years. (I was even MOH in her PPD). Until last year when I had something she wanted. She lied, took advantage of me, and manipulated a situation. When I caught her in the lie, there was no going back. She is not a part of my life anymore, and she won't be until she issues a pretty profound apology.

    It was the proverbial straw that broke the camel's back. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
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    Oooo, I'm glad I posted!  Soooooo much family drama!
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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