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"What is this called?"

flantasticflantastic member
First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
in Chit Chat
My 24 yo brother is just entering the stage of life where his friends are getting married, and he and his girlfriend were invited to an AHR happening next weekend. (I know about this because it's in our city and I'll be seeing him on his trip.)

However, he keeps calling it a "shower," which I find hilarious. I suppose it could be a co-ed shower, held at a winery, expected to go late into the night/early morning, but what he told me of the invite ("come celebrate our marriage") makes me think AHR. I can just see his thought process: "It's obviously not their wedding, but it's a party definitely related to their wedding... must be a shower!" Maybe they were so gracious as to include registry info so as to further confuse the young man.
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Re: "What is this called?"

  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    Definitely sounds like AHR. I bet brother will be surprised if they show up in a wedding dress/suit for this "shower"
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  • vikinganna87vikinganna87 member
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    What's an AHR?  (didn't have much luck googling and trying to find TK lingo decoder)

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  • flantasticflantastic member
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    vikinganna87 said:
    What's an AHR?  (didn't have much luck googling and trying to find TK lingo decoder)

    "At Home Reception" after a destination or private wedding - often with people not invited to the actual wedding.
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  • emmaaaemmaaa mod
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    On a similar note:

    My assistant's son was in town last weekend for a party for his friend and GF. He told her that his friend was going to propose to his GF in the shower. Obviously, his mom thought it was strange that he would propose there but that he was telling people it was his plan. 

    Turns out, he meant that he was proposing AT the shower. Her son didn't know the party he was going to was a baby shower. LOL

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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment First Answer
    "Come celebrate our marriage" does sound like AHR.  Instead of a "shower" in my home town, we did a "Wedding Open House".  It was a coed BBQ (2 months before the wedding).  My family/friends back home wanted to throw me a shower, but they want to invite the guys to attend, since many of them wouldn't be able to attend my destination wedding.  Naming it a "shower" tends to exclude the men, so they just referred to it as an open house instead.  Maybe it's something like that???

    image 

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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited April 2016
    princessleia22 said:
    "Come celebrate our marriage" does sound like AHR.  Instead of a "shower" in my home town, we did a "Wedding Open House".  It was a coed BBQ (2 months before the wedding).  My family/friends back home wanted to throw me a shower, but they want to invite the guys to attend, since many of them wouldn't be able to attend my destination wedding.  Naming it a "shower" tends to exclude the men, so they just referred to it as an open house instead.  Maybe it's something like that???
    Sounds very confusing to me.  Why is it that when someone wants to do something that isn't etiquette correct, they make up a new name for it?
    Any celebration parties should be held AFTER the wedding, not before.  Anyone who is invited to ANY pre-wedding parties, regardless of what they are called, must also be invited to the wedding.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    CMGragain said:
    princessleia22 said:
    "Come celebrate our marriage" does sound like AHR.  Instead of a "shower" in my home town, we did a "Wedding Open House".  It was a coed BBQ (2 months before the wedding).  My family/friends back home wanted to throw me a shower, but they want to invite the guys to attend, since many of them wouldn't be able to attend my destination wedding.  Naming it a "shower" tends to exclude the men, so they just referred to it as an open house instead.  Maybe it's something like that???
    Sounds very confusing to me.  Why is it that when someone wants to do something that isn't etiquette correct, they make up a new name for it?
    Any celebration parties should be held AFTER the wedding, not before.  Anyone who is invited to ANY pre-wedding parties, regardless of what they are called, must also be invited to the wedding.
    I think all these people were invited to the wedding, but likely wouldn't be able to come. And since apparently they didn't think the guys would be into a coed shower, so titled, they called it an open house.
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  • princessleia22princessleia22 member
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    edited April 2016
    flantastic said:
    CMGragain said:
    princessleia22 said:
    "Come celebrate our marriage" does sound like AHR.  Instead of a "shower" in my home town, we did a "Wedding Open House".  It was a coed BBQ (2 months before the wedding).  My family/friends back home wanted to throw me a shower, but they want to invite the guys to attend, since many of them wouldn't be able to attend my destination wedding.  Naming it a "shower" tends to exclude the men, so they just referred to it as an open house instead.  Maybe it's something like that???
    Sounds very confusing to me.  Why is it that when someone wants to do something that isn't etiquette correct, they make up a new name for it?
    Any celebration parties should be held AFTER the wedding, not before.  Anyone who is invited to ANY pre-wedding parties, regardless of what they are called, must also be invited to the wedding.
    I think all these people were invited to the wedding, but likely wouldn't be able to come. And since apparently they didn't think the guys would be into a coed shower, so titled, they called it an open house.
    Correct.  Everyone that was invited to my "shower/open house" was also invited to the wedding. We just called it an "open house" to make the title more coed friendly. Other than the title and being coed, it was a typical shower. We knew that many of the invited guests in my home town wouldn't be able to travel to the wedding (they had already told us so), so we wanted to make sure they all (women & men) felt comfortable coming to the shower and hanging out with us while we were in town... especially since many of them had not met DH at that time.

    Our families are literally spread out in all corners of the US (AZ, OR, MI, and FL)... and fairly evenly spread.  So, there was not one "good" location that would be convenient for all our guests or would not require over 50% of our guests to travel. We held our wedding in New Orleans, based on conversations with our VIP's, because that was a good central location that was easily accessible to all our guests (most were able to drive).  We did have a fully hosted wedding and reception... and fully hosted welcome party. Our wedding was on a cruise ship, but at port so guests were not required to cruise to attend the wedding or reception.

    ETA: I also wanted to clarify that I did not host or plan my shower/open house.  It was hosted by my MOH.  And she was the one who thought about opening it up as coed and calling it an open house.

    image 

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  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Seems like ALOT of work LOL
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  • JeeGooDowsterJeeGooDowster member
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    flantastic said:
    JeeGooDowster said:
    Seems like ALOT of work LOL
    I'm not sure what this is in reference to, but I have this

    Sorry, the AHR.  I am happy to plan just one wedding...not 2
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  • flantasticflantastic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    So it turns out I was right - sort of. The couple was already married, and both wedding and reception had already happened. My brother did not know this before he went, because he was not invited. This was just a second party, with registry info on the invite. They bought a gift, because of course they thought it was a shower (and it may still have been billed as such). I don't think it was fully hosted. He drove six hours each way for this.

    He's the sort of good-natured fellow who would just roll with this, but I feel really bad for him.
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  • CharmedPamCharmedPam member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Wow.  I get the whole "AHR" concept....but to put the registry info on the invite.  That I don't get.  Who ever thought that would be a good idea?

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