Not sure if this is the right place to put this.
A little background, I have two daughters, they have different dads my youngest daughter will be 4 when we get married and spends half her time at her dad's house. My oldest will be 10 and has never met her "dad" and he has wanted nothing to do with her to the point that he has signed over his rights so she can be adopted by FI after we get married. FI has no kids of his own.
FI wants to get my daughters a special necklace for when we get married. He wants to give my youngest her's in private so as not to make her feel she is having to chose between him or her dad. However he wants to add something to the ceremony for my oldest since he will be adopting her. I suggested that he give her's in private as well and that after the adoption we can have a party for the two of them and the wedding isn't really apropriate for that. What are your thoughts? I don't want to make a big deal about it if it's a moot point but couldn't find anything on this, everything I could find was about kids gaining a stepparent not about that they will actually be getting a dad. If he is insistent on doing something is there some sort of compromise I could suggest for the wedding?