Two months ago, my husband and I had our first baby. It’s exhausting and wonderful, but here’s the problem. I notice that sex doesn’t feel the same. I’ve gotten “looser,” and I practically had to force my husband to admit that he notices a difference, too. This is devastating. My entire life I never enjoyed sex, until I met my husband. Our sex life was amazing, and I finally felt what everyone was talking about. Now, it just feels like nothing. When I talk to my friends, they call him a jerk and say that he should “appreciate” that I made him a daughter. My doctors, too, seem to blame my husband for saying something so awful, but no one actually admits that childbirth does stretch you out. It’s not a matter of emotions or “understanding.” Friction is friction. 1) What do we do? I want our sex life back. 2) Why do no mothers/doctors talk about the effects of birth on the vagina? 3) Why does everyone blame the husband? Please help.
—Childbirth Ruined Sex