REMOVED

[Deleted User] · May 2016

REMOVED
Thanks!!

tigerlily6 · May 2016

This is considered a dirty delete, and highly frowned upon. I assume your original question was about whether or not guests might supply their own drinks for a wedding, given the original title of the post.

Hoping you realized that was not a good idea. If you're the host of a wedding, you do not need to serve alcohol at all, but if you want it to be incorporated, then you need to provide it. That means no cash bars, and definitely not asking guests to have to purchase and bring it themselves.

It's okay to make a post and then realize you asked a kind of dumb question or one you figured out. I've done that before. But rather than delete, just own up to the realization and post a comment noting you figured it out. If nothing else, that highlights your sensibility. Deleting your original post just sends up the bat signal to the contrary.

tigerlily6 · May 2016

Wow, that was insanely fast. DD and deleted user before I even finished my comment.

The title of the the post was "Bring Your Own Booze?" Like I said, hopefully she figured out this was not a good plan.

bohobrideCA · May 2016

tigerlily6 said:

Wow, that was insanely fast. DD and deleted user before I even finished my comment.

The title of the the post was "Bring Your Own Booze?" Like I said, hopefully she figured out this was not a good plan.

I read the original post and her venue supplied the bartenders, glass wear and mixers but not the liquor itself. She was wondering how much she needed to buy for 90 guests who are mostly heavy drinkers and if anyone else had experience bringing the alcohol for their weddings. Nowhere in her post did she mention expecting her guests to pay for or bring the alcohol.

I'm having an estate wedding and thought I would stock up on booze throughout the year for the event and was looking forward to seeing replies if anyone had a good algorithm to make sure I buy enough wine, beer and liquor for everyone. It was a misleading title but I was looking forward to reading responses!

tigerlily6 · May 2016

bohobrideca said:

tigerlily6 said:

Wow, that was insanely fast. DD and deleted user before I even finished my comment.

The title of the the post was "Bring Your Own Booze?" Like I said, hopefully she figured out this was not a good plan.

I read the original post and her venue supplied the bartenders, glass wear and mixers but not the liquor itself. She was wondering how much she needed to buy for 90 guests who are mostly heavy drinkers and if anyone else had experience bringing the alcohol for their weddings. Nowhere in her post did she mention expecting her guests to pay for or bring the alcohol.

I'm having an estate wedding and thought I would stock up on booze throughout the year for the event and was looking forward to seeing replies if anyone had a good algorithm to make sure I buy enough wine, beer and liquor for everyone. It was a misleading title but I was looking forward to reading responses!

Good to know, thanks for correcting @bohobrideca. I clicked on the link to the original title, but by the time the page loaded the post was deleted. As I said, this is the problem with DDs -- they let others infer the worst rather than giving us any context. I wonder why she left so quickly? Her question would have been a good one.

MesmrEwe · May 2016

bohobrideca said:

tigerlily6 said:

Wow, that was insanely fast. DD and deleted user before I even finished my comment.

The title of the the post was "Bring Your Own Booze?" Like I said, hopefully she figured out this was not a good plan.

I read the original post and her venue supplied the bartenders, glass wear and mixers but not the liquor itself. She was wondering how much she needed to buy for 90 guests who are mostly heavy drinkers and if anyone else had experience bringing the alcohol for their weddings. Nowhere in her post did she mention expecting her guests to pay for or bring the alcohol.

I'm having an estate wedding and thought I would stock up on booze throughout the year for the event and was looking forward to seeing replies if anyone had a good algorithm to make sure I buy enough wine, beer and liquor for everyone. It was a misleading title but I was looking forward to reading responses!

Sounds like a legit question!

Tyvm · May 2016

As I said, this is the problem with DDs -- they let others infer the worst rather than giving us any context. I wonder why she left so quickly?

@tigerlily6 I think you may've perhaps answered your own question?
Maybe s/he realized people get some nasty responses around here, and just didn't want to run the risk? Even if s/he was asking a totally reasonable question. I can understand.

tigerlily6 · May 2016

Tyvm said:

As I said, this is the problem with DDs -- they let others infer the worst rather than giving us any context. I wonder why she left so quickly?
@tigerlily6 I think you may've perhaps answered your own question?
Maybe s/he realized people get some nasty responses around here, and just didn't want to run the risk? Even if s/he was asking a totally reasonable question. I can understand.

I guess. It's true that some snark gets thrown around, for sure. But I'd say that the majority of the time that's when the OP has suggested a course of action breaching etiquette or common sense. And 99% of the time, if the OP comes back and responds well (such as "Oops, sorry all, I didn't realize this. Thanks for letting me know!" or even "Thank you for all the responses, i will take them into consideration.") people tone it down. People on the internet aren't here to be a stranger's friend, but most of us aren't here to be Regina George, either. We're here as a bunch of people who have thought through wedding planning and can offer insights/ opinions, sometimes very brusquely.

My first posts I definitely got schooled. I was a newbie, and suggested setting up a "fund" website to help FI and I raise money for a used car in lieu of a registry. Definitely got my ass handed to me. It was embarrassing, yeah. But I had already posted it, so there wasn't going back. Instead I gave it a few days to think over, realized I was probably in the wrong, and responded to the post. And it still exists now for any lurkers with that same question, so they can read and learn.

This topic doesn't sound like it would have generated snark, though.

katsandtatts · May 2016

Hey all, I'm OP.

I accidentally posted it on a friend's account and she asked me to remove it, but unfortunately the only way I could figure out how was to just remove the contents of the post. It wasn't a dirty delete/ DD because I didn't dislike the answers, I simply made an error. I will be reposting my question once I can figure out how to operate the website under my own account... Sorry to upset people I guess (ahem, tigerlily6)

tigerlily6 · May 2016

katsandtatts said:

Hey all, I'm OP.

I accidentally posted it on a friend's account and she asked me to remove it, but unfortunately the only way I could figure out how was to just remove the contents of the post. It wasn't a dirty delete/ DD because I didn't dislike the answers, I simply made an error. I will be reposting my question once I can figure out how to operate the website under my own account... Sorry to upset people I guess (ahem, tigerlily6)

Hey @katsandtatts, it's all cool. I'm sorry if I came off harsh or mean -- but I'm sure if you lurk around you'll see that I'm not the only person here who disapproves of DDs, and for good reason as some of them are a bit insane. Sounds like that wasn't your case at all though, and I apologize. Glad you're back and hoping that we can help with your question.

katsandtatts · May 2016

Thanks for understanding! I'm new here and just trying to work out the kinks

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