Vow Renewal

Re: Vow Renewal

• CMGragain member

  

  May 2016 edited May 2016

  Here is a good etiquette guide to vow renewals.  Please don't wear a wedding dress.
  
  http://www.idotaketwo.com/blog/vow-renewal-etiquette-2/
  
  Vow renewals may be held for important occasions, but, personally, I think it's a little weird that your DH thinks that surpassing his first, unsuccessful marriage in time is something to celebrate.  I would wait until your 15th or 20th anniversary.
  
  

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  May 2016

  EstherK said:

  I hope it's OK for me to join your board. I just realize that the Vow Renewal board is very quiet.
  
  My husband just brought up the idea of a vow renewal a few days ago. We'll have been married 12 years in August, which is significant because his first marriage ended in divorce after 12 years.
  
  I only have 3 months to plan! Yikes! We're on a strict budget and I'm deciding on a dress right now--trying to decide between not wearing a wedding dress at all or wearing one that doesn't scream wedding. 

  
  

  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  May 2016

  Personally, I think it's a little odd to do a vow renewal at 12 years mostly because your marriage has lasted the same amount of time as his previous one. And honestly, it would rub the wrong way if my H suggested this. 
  
  Also, if you're on such a strict budget, why not wait until 15 years? Or 20 years? 
  
  

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• ScottishSarah member

  

  May 2016

  I have to say I agree.  It seems like the day will be tinged with sadness and bad memories, for both your husband's families and yours.  It seems like the focus will not be on your marriage but almost celebrating the end of the last one.
  
  How do you really feel about it OP?  I know for me I wouldn't want to think about past serious relationships when celebrating the one we already have.
  
  

  

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• lnixon8 member

  

  May 2016

  I would put that money towards a nice dinner (maybe offer to treat a few close friends or family memebrs) or a vacation for you and your husband.

  
  
  

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• photokitty mod

  

  May 2016

  If I was a guest and knew the rationale behind the view renewal, and I would probably ask bc 12 is a random year, I would be super uncomfortable. I'd wait and save up for number 15. I mean you're inn it for the long haul and going to make it, so why rush?

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• AddieCake member

  

  May 2016

  I think you should wait until year 15. Making it longer than a previous marriage and then calling attention to that with a celebration is weird to me. 

  What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14

  

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• jacques27 member

  

  May 2016

  Congrats on your upcoming anniversary.
  
  I sort of see where he is coming from, but at the same time doing a vow renewal this way (spur of the moment with a very tight budget because you didn't plan ahead of time) on the basis that it is makes it seem like this renewal is more about his unsuccessful first marriage and less about how much the two of you are committed to each other.  It seems like a renewal for spite.
  
  
  Do you really want to plan a hasty, minimal budget renewal based on lasting longer than the last wife?  Renewals are fine, but remember that vows don't expire.  What's the rush?  Take the money you have now and have a nice night on the town or a long weekend getaway and start saving for a renewal that celebrates the two of you, rather than thumbs your nose at the last wife.

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• CMGragain member

  

  May 2016

  Go on a cruise and have a private vow renewal, just the two of you.
  

  

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