Just a bit of a bummer.

gaiadaughter · May 2016

Can I just pout here for a minute?

I'm getting married in November and my youngest brother was supposed to be a "brides-man" and spend the day with us. Of my siblings he's the one I'm closest to and he an my fiancé have become fast friends despite a 15 year age difference. He recently decided to enlist in the Marines and leaves for boot camp in July. I'm so proud of the kid, and know this is exactly what he wants.

But this means he'll miss the wedding. He offered to try to work with the recruiter to see if he can postpone when he leaves to be able to attend the wedding (we're a pretty tight knit family and he is also really bummed he won't be able to attend). I told him that overall for just one day it's a pretty stupid reason to put his life on hold and have encouraged him to keep his original date to leave.

But I'm bummed. I'm bummed he won't be able to attend, to give me a big bear hug of encouragement before the ceremony starts and save a dance for me. In the end I'm just sad about it. But I can't say anything to him, or anyone who might let it slip to him that I'm sad. If he knew, he would do everything in his power to push back the date he leaves, and as much as I want him there, postponing his career and future for a wedding is just plain dumb. So I just need somewhere to voice that I think the situation sucks.

While it's not the same I know we'll be able to Skype that day (he'll be done with boot camp and at the next phase where we'll be able to Skype) which is something we'll have to get used to for the next 4 years anyway. In the end I know it'll be okay, I'll get to chat with my brother and while he'll be missed greatly I'll be so busy getting married to the love of my life, that we wouldn't have had a lot of time together anyway. Thanks for hearing me out and letting me pout, I'm going to enjoy a glass of wine now.

NavyBlue143 · May 2016

I think it's really big of you to put his needs ahead of your wedding day. It's totally understandable that you're sad, but not everyone would handle it with your attitude. You're a good sister.

ILoveBeachMusic · May 2016

You have every reason to pout and enjoy a glass (or two) of wine. Your attitude is great though. Thank your brother for his service!

charlotte989875 · May 2016

I agree with PPs, pout all you need to here, have some wine, and be sad for a bit. It won't be the same, but you can have computer or table set up so he can watch the ceremony in addition to skyping with him.

Id be really sad too, but wanted to say I think it says a lot about your family and relationships that he'd put a major life event on hold for you, and that you won't ask him to do that.

artbyallie · May 2016

Maybe he can find out if he gets any leave. Will he even still be in boot camp in November if he starts in July? I don't have any close family in the military, but SIL's H is Air Force and he had a 2-3 week window between his training and base assignment which they used to get married and move to where he was being sent. And he had been training on the opposite side of the country in the first place.

AddieCake · May 2016

I'm sorry he won't be there, but hooray for him that he's taking this leap!

Jen4948 · May 2016

AddieCake said:

I'm sorry he won't be there, but hooray for him that he's taking this leap!

I agree. Thanks to your brother for his service, but I'm sorry can't attend the wedding.

gaiadaughter · May 2016

artbyallie said:

Maybe he can find out if he gets any leave. Will he even still be in boot camp in November if he starts in July? I don't have any close family in the military, but SIL's H is Air Force and he had a 2-3 week window between his training and base assignment which they used to get married and move to where he was being sent. And he had been training on the opposite side of the country in the first place.

He won't still be in bootcamp, but won't be eligible to take leave yet. I don't fully understand the process, but I guess after boot camp (13 weeks) He gets 10 days of leave before going to his next "school" to learn his job, during which time he can't take leave. He goes in the last week of July and his 10 days of leave ends the week before our wedding.

I'm really proud of him for deciding to join, he wrestled with the idea for almost 2 years before deciding that this was the best life choice for him. My fiancé recently got out of the Air Force and has been helping him by being very blunt about his experiences and helping my brother figure out that he's capable of doing what will be asked of him.

Both my Bro and I laughed as the recruiter tried to help him problem solve and recommended we find someone to stand in as a "brides-man" for him. Their job would be to carry a tablet (where my brother would be on Skype) down the aisle and stand in place for him during the ceremony and during the reception they would be in charge of "mingling" my brother with the guests. Bro and I both thought that was a little extreme. My brother decided that he will be watching the ceremony while my mom holds the tablet/computer, and will probably then head off to do his own thing.

Thanks again for letting me pout. I just needed a place to air it out!

kimmiinthemitten · May 2016

You're a great sister. It's understandable to be sad, but I'm glad you've found a way to include him from afar.

SP29 · May 2016

I am sorry to hear your brother is unable to attend your wedding. Hugs to you!

Very understandable to be sad. It's great to hear you have such a good relationship with your brother

.

MesmrEwe · May 2016

gaiadaughter said:

artbyallie said:

Maybe he can find out if he gets any leave. Will he even still be in boot camp in November if he starts in July? I don't have any close family in the military, but SIL's H is Air Force and he had a 2-3 week window between his training and base assignment which they used to get married and move to where he was being sent. And he had been training on the opposite side of the country in the first place.

He won't still be in bootcamp, but won't be eligible to take leave yet. I don't fully understand the process, but I guess after boot camp (13 weeks) He gets 10 days of leave before going to his next "school" to learn his job, during which time he can't take leave. He goes in the last week of July and his 10 days of leave ends the week before our wedding.

I'm really proud of him for deciding to join, he wrestled with the idea for almost 2 years before deciding that this was the best life choice for him. My fiancé recently got out of the Air Force and has been helping him by being very blunt about his experiences and helping my brother figure out that he's capable of doing what will be asked of him.

Both my Bro and I laughed as the recruiter tried to help him problem solve and recommended we find someone to stand in as a "brides-man" for him. Their job would be to carry a tablet (where my brother would be on Skype) down the aisle and stand in place for him during the ceremony and during the reception they would be in charge of "mingling" my brother with the guests. Bro and I both thought that was a little extreme. My brother decided that he will be watching the ceremony while my mom holds the tablet/computer, and will probably then head off to do his own thing.

Thanks again for letting me pout. I just needed a place to air it out!

Sounds like a Marine method... LOL

And you never now depending on how things go he could get delayed through some phase, etc. so it's anyone's guess that 10 days might end up getting timed "just right"...

drunkenwitch · May 2016

That really does suck, you have every right to be sad. Bravo for supporting your brother. Nothing wrong with coming to a place to vent.

InLoveInQueens · June 2016

I can commiserate, my brother also joined the Marines and missed my wedding. It sucks but you're being incredibly supportive and I'm sure he appreciates it.

thefanciestbeckler · June 2016

I'm so sorry. That would be so hard. I would definitely have been bummed if my brother missed my wedding too.

Your attitude is totally refreshing though. Kudos to you for being a great, supportive sister!

Just a bit of a bummer.

Re: Just a bit of a bummer.

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