Hello, Knotties! 10 days until the big day and I need some advice!
First, a little background: my dad has always been a terrible alcoholic (the sober years were wonderful), and while I was in college, he had an affair and my parents divorced. When he isn't drinking, he is a great father, and I think he really does care about me. The past few years, his behavior has been unpredictable and he has been in and out of rehab and the hospital multiple times. He's a pathological liar and undependable. He's skipped out on paying for some of his part of the wedding, putting my fiance and I in a (small) financial bind, and sometimes he just drops off the face of the Earth. All that being said, I do love him (he's my dad!), and I was planning on having him walk my down the aisle and doing a father/daughter dance until his most recent relapse. 10 days until my wedding and he was just released from the hospital and detox.
My family didn't know if he'd even make it to the wedding so I asked my grandfather to walk me down the aisle and dance with me. My grandpa has always been more of a father than my actual father. He is the most important man in my life, and I felt very much at ease imagining not having to put on a face just to have my dad walk me down and dance with me. It was also a relief knowing my family wouldn't have to watch him like a hawk around the bar.
Well, like I said, my dad was just released from detox, called me, and told me he bought his plane tickets for my wedding because "he wouldn't do that to me!" Now I'm in a bind. I don't know if my family has told him my plans for my grandpa or not, but I don't know how to break the news to him. Even after everything, it would break my heart to hurt his feelings, but I know I would be happier with my grandpa. I've already shelled out a ton of money to re-do the ceremony programs, and the vendors have been updated with the changes. My mother and the rest of my family believes he might not even show up and that, if history repeats itself, he'll be drinking again before that day, and I cannot handle that behavior at my wedding, especially if I have to dance with him!
So... help! What do I do/how do I break the news? Thanks in advance for your help!