Second guessing my dress

Knottie1443678426 · June 2016

My fiance and I have been engaged for about 5 years. We had a wedding date picked out a couple years ago but canceled bc of his job. I had a dress I bought an loved it... back then. Now we are planning our wedding for October and I'm 2nd guessing this dress. Idk if I should stick it out with this dress or get another one. I don't want to spend more money on a dress unless I sell the one I have but I think it would be to hard to do.

Tyvm · June 2016

Hi there, welcome to TK!
I'm a fellow dress-doubter, I think many of us are. There's so much pressure on getting this part right...although, in reality, no one will really remember the dress except for us! We're so much harder and more particular on ourselves than everyone around us. This is just to say, everyone will think you look lovely, no matter what dress you choose (provided it's altered properly). I am sure this one is lovely. I am sure any other dress you select will be lovely. Your guests will not really notice one way or the other.

So, now that we've centered on how only you will notice...how does the dress make you feel when you put it on? Do you feel good in it? Is it comfortable? Can you move and eat in it?

ernursej · June 2016

Generally, I'm in the camp of keep the dress you originally bought, but that usually applies to brides that bought the dress just the other day and then are second guessing things. I would try on your dress and figure out why you are second guessing. If it is because you've changed and your taste in dresses is not the same, then I would suggest finding something you do like. If it is just because you bought this a while ago but still like it, I would suggest keeping it and find something else to spend the money on.

You can certainly sell your dress but you will not get what you paid for it so think of it as a sunk cost and take the money out of the situation.

Edit for spelling.

MesmrEwe · June 2016

Start with trying this dress on with the accessories... Then decide. Provided it has not been altered it may not be difficult to resell. We have consignment bridal salons around here that may be another option for you in your area. OR, you could wear one for the ceremony and the other for the reception, or alter it a bit and wear it to your rehearsal.

If you do decide to look for a different dress, set a budget that you can be comfortable with and go look. Go ahead and check the David's Bridal sales, you never know, you may find something online that you love more (they super clearance some of the dresses online)... There are options out there, but at the end of the day, it's up to you to decide what you want to do. Five years ago is a long time - you never know, if you haven't tried it on, whether it fits or is going to need $$$ in alterations, or if it's "just not you anymore", or "I love this more now than the day I purchased it"...

jacques27 · June 2016

It's a lovely dress. I guess it depends on the reason you have doubts and whether your budget can afford it (remember, if you do sell it, you likely won't get even close to what you paid for it).

If it doesn't fit or your body type has changed in the last five years so that it's no longer flattering, then looking for something new is probably a good idea. Or if you are planning a drastically different wedding than the one five years ago and the dress may seem out of place (e.g. five years ago was evening at a hotel ballroom and now it's a daytime beach wedding) then it may be a good idea, too.

Otherwise, you will look lovely I'm sure in any dress, including this one. I know there are many who have the "It's one day and I have to make that dress perfect" mentality, but I'm more in the "It's one day in a lifetime of days and it's the experience and the happiness of the event that makes the occasion, not whether the dress is to the specifications of some idealized vision." So if it's just a matter wanting something new, I would probably try to find a way to be happy with the current dress through accessories and alterations, rather than sinking more money into a brand new dress, so long as it still fits and is flattering. But then again, I'm pretty frugal and have a hard time with large expenditures, especially when it's for one day.

SP29 · June 2016

jacques27 said:

It's a lovely dress. I guess it depends on the reason you have doubts and whether your budget can afford it (remember, if you do sell it, you likely won't get even close to what you paid for it).

If it doesn't fit or your body type has changed in the last five years so that it's no longer flattering, then looking for something new is probably a good idea. Or if you are planning a drastically different wedding than the one five years ago and the dress may seem out of place (e.g. five years ago was evening at a hotel ballroom and now it's a daytime beach wedding) then it may be a good idea, too.

Otherwise, you will look lovely I'm sure in any dress, including this one. I know there are many who have the "It's one day and I have to make that dress perfect" mentality, but I'm more in the "It's one day in a lifetime of days and it's the experience and the happiness of the event that makes the occasion, not whether the dress is to the specifications of some idealized vision." So if it's just a matter wanting something new, I would probably try to find a way to be happy with the current dress through accessories and alterations, rather than sinking more money into a brand new dress, so long as it still fits and is flattering. But then again, I'm pretty frugal and have a hard time with large expenditures, especially when it's for one day.

I'm with jacques.

Have you tried the dress on again? Put on some jewelry with it?

I agree if the dress no longer fits the same, or your whole wedding vision is different, then get a new dress. But if not, I would seriously consider what getting a new dress means to and for you. How do you feel in the dress? Do you have the budget? On the day of, will you care? Unless you hate the way you look in it, I don't think you'll care. I'm in the "it's one day and it's a dress" camp.

I think the dress is very pretty.

You do have a bit of time before your wedding. You could always try selling the current dress and if it doesn't sell by X date, you'll keep it.

(I tried to sell my wedding dress privately on kijiji and Facebook and I did not get much interest at all. I am kind of surprised. Only one person asked to come try it on, and she loved it, but unfortunately it did not fit her).

MCmeow · June 2016

I don't know too much about the tailoring aspect of wedding dresses but I think there's many easy ways to make your dress feel different without getting a new one. Yours seems like it's not overly embellished so it may work to add an overlay or topper like the ones here at bhldn: http://s7d1.scene7.com/is/image/BHLDN/37783149_013_a?$zoom-xl$
https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/c7/70/1b/c7701bedd8979e024c799c5bd53f8c2f.jpg

Either way try to think about why you loved the dress in the first place, but if you can't imagine yourself in the dress, there are options to alter it or add to it without shelling out too much more money.

CMGragain · June 2016

I think it is a beautiful dress! JMHO.

Knottie1467968873 · July 2016

Well I think it's a lovely dress !!

Second guessing my dress

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