My FMIL is really excited about the wedding, which I think is amazing! But I'm struggling because she gets too involved with everything in my opinion and can be kind of rude about it. At the minute we haven't even confirmed our venue yet so just want to keep our ideas ideas but she takes it too far and doesn't listen to what I'm saying, she feels like she's helping which I do understand but shes just causing us more stress.
For example we mentioned that we liked the idea of wooden slabs for the center pieces to sit on, so without a word to us she spoke to everyone at her work about it, found a place where we can get some, came home and told her husband to take me to the place the next day without ever including me or my fiance in this conversation. She's also been telling me that I need to change the wedding date and send out save the dates two years in advance ( when I explain that we want that date for a reason and at the earliest save the dates will be just over a year she argues it until I say no then goes quiet but brings up the same conversation a few days later) Ive also told her things about the venue like where we would have reception drinks and that I could stay there the night before etc and then later she'll contact the venue and ask them the same questions even though I've already told her and frankly it has nothing to do with her.
Does anyone have any suggestions how to just convince her to calm down a little bit? I love it when we talk about the wedding and I love hearing her ideas but I do want to keep them ideas until I physically ask for her help. Me and my fiance talked to her but she basically just refused it and has been really awkward around me and will ignore me when I mention something about the wedding now. The last thing I want to do is hurt her feelings but this is upsetting us as we do want her involvement in the planning but just a bit dialled down haha
Any advice will be appreciated, thank you!