Snarky Brides

When did you know?

I saw this listicle on facebook today that I thought was interesting. 

http://www.pref.com/a/jaw/20-people-share-the-one-detail-from-someones-wedding-day-that-made-them-realize

1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? 
2) At what point did you know?
3) Were you right?
4) How long did it last?

Re: When did you know?

  • 1)  Yes
    2) As the bride was walking down the aisle she looked like she was at a funeral. The first time she smiled was at the reception when she danced with her dad.
    3) I was right, unfortunately.
    4) It lasted two years. She was a student and used his credit card to charge a spring break trip for herself and her boyfriend. 
  • I saw this listicle on facebook today that I thought was interesting. 

    http://www.pref.com/a/jaw/20-people-share-the-one-detail-from-someones-wedding-day-that-made-them-realize

    1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? 
    2) At what point did you know?
    3) Were you right?
    4) How long did it last?

    1. Yes.

    2. When the groom wanted in on his own divorce pool and picked two years.

    3. Kinda. They're still married but miserable and both discuss divorce often.

    4. It's been almost 4 years.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Wow, what a list!

    Of all the weddings I've been to, only two have since ended. One lasted about 15 years or so, another about 2 years. But the latter, I was only a date and didn't know the couple at all, so can't say I would have noticed anything. (They were 24; he cheated.)

    But. A friend of mine at work showed me a picture from her best friend's wedding. The picture was only of the bride. She was standing with her shoulders slumped, hip cocked, bouquet down by her side, head tilted to the side and eyes rolled. It's how you would look if you were waiting in line at the DMV. It looked like she couldn't give two shits about getting married. Sure enough a couple years later... divorced. 

    My DH tells me that he knew before his wedding it wouldn't last. They did premarital counseling, and that's how he figured out it wouldn't last, but he didn't have the guts to call off the wedding. He was 22; the marriage lasted four years. 
    ________________________________


  • Oh! I have another!

    I was 14 when my dad suddenly got married. Like, he called us around the holidays to say he was getting married in April. We're like, "Oh? To Sally?" (his long term on-again, off-again girlfriend) - "No, her name is Janis". uhhhh.....

    My brother, sister and I were in the wedding party. We're all standing there at the ceremony and my dad has these HUGE eyes and his face is screaming, "WTF AM I DOINGGGG".



    I think it was around 2 months before he was divorced.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • Some of these stories are so sad. It makes me wish I'd paid closer attention to one of my closest cousin's two weddings.

    He married young the first time (bride was his sister's friend, right out of high school -- no, she wasn't pregnant). I don't think it lasted much more than a year. Bride also worked for my Mom. That didn't end well either.

    I had high hopes for marriage #2. The girl was a really artsy type (my cousin is a musician and graphic artist), and we all liked her. Apart from an hour or so gap, the wedding and reception were really nice. Sadly, they split seven years and two kids later.

    He's since met someone (I'm looking forward to meeting her at the wedding) but has confided to my Mom and brother that he doesn't think he's cut out for marriage. Mom told him he's just had trouble picking the right girl.
  • 1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? 
    Yes

    2) At what point did you know?
    I'd like to say it was when the (Jewish) groom missed the glass when he was stomping on it, but months before the bride had told me she was just with him because she thought she couldn't get any better (she was awful, and correct). 

    3) Were you right?
    Yes.

    4) How long did it last?
    ~5 years, which was surprisingly long to everyone who knew them, but he was dedicated and she was using him for his money, among other things.  She dumped him right after she got pregnant with someone else's kid and found that the other guy would support her.
  • 1) Yes. 
    2) When the bride put a GPS app on their phones to track where he goes. 
    3) The jury is still out. No one thought they'd actually go through with the wedding and there is a pool on how long it will last. 
    4) The bet is that it won't last three years. 
  • Oy, I've been to a couple of these.

    First wedding: 

    1) yes
    2)when the groom had left his first wife to be with his second and his second to be with his third, you sense a pattern 
    3) yeppers
    4)first marriage: 9 months; second: 5 years; third 2 years

    Second Wedding:

    1) yes
    2) the bride was very self centred and had a time line for certain life events including the age she HAD to be married by
    3) yeppity
    4) from what I hear, 7 years 

    Third Wedding:

    1) yes
    2) the bride's best friend is her very ex-boyfriend who wouldn't marry her so she broke up with him and found someone who would, but still remains very close to her ex-boyfriend.
    3) don't know yet
    4) 2 years and counting but the edges are starting to fray

    Unfortunately, I seem to have a knack for figuring out who will make it and who won't. A lot of it has to do with the reasons people get married. I find that most of the people above whose marriages I predicted the demise of got married for the wrong reasons.


  • This one isn't funny, but it's the one I have, featuring the friend of a friend:
    1) Yes
    2) As soon as the wedding was announced.  The couple knew each other online for about a year, and in person for about two months.  Everyone was verbally invited two weeks before the wedding--they rushed it because the groom's family would be in town for another wedding at the time (his family was from TX, she's in ME), and if they didn't get married now, they'd have to wait two years or something before his family would be able to come back to Maine again.  It seemed like weird reasoning to me.  The couple was constantly fighting, she was always in tears.  They didn't fight during the wedding, as far as I know, but the wedding/reception itself...wasn't great.  It didn't feel like there was any love in it.

    3) Unfortunately, no divorce yet.  They moved to Texas to be closer to his family, and he's emotionally abusive to her plus he's physically threatening, throwing stuff around their house and punching holes in the wall.  He can't keep a job because of his anger issues--he keeps telling his managers to f-- off.  They have a child together and have lasted five years, but wife is miserable.  Her mother is/was in an abusive relationship as well, so I think she sees it as "normal."  

    4) Still together.  They moved back to Maine recently so wife could be near her family, which is nice, but she's still miserable.  
  • 1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? Unfortunately, yes.
    2) At what point did you know? Everyone knew that they had spent more time planning their wedding than planning their marriage. They had very little in common and everything about the wedding seemed so over the top and showy. There was a pool going around my table at the wedding. I declined to participate as I thought it was rude to do something like that at a wedding, but I mentally picked 2 years. At one point, the bride had asked people in her wedding party if it would be fine to not get married and unfortunately, no one told her to do what felt right.  
    3) Were you right? Yes.
    4) How long did it last? Just over 2 years.

  • I have two...

    1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? Yes
    2) At what point did you know? When the groom danced with his ex girlfriend and she teared up. My date was returning from the bathroom and I told him, "Well that isn't a great sign is it?" and he said, "Nope, and the bride doing keg stands in the kitchen isn't fantastic either!"
    3) Were you right? Yes
    4) How long did it last? They divorced 8 months later.

    1) Have you ever been to a wedding where you just knew it was doomed? Yes
    2) At what point did you know? When I was delivering the wedding cake to the venue and the bride was yelling at the groom because he was WASTED. I was her parents standing to the side and I could just see them totaling up all of the costs of the wedding.
    3) Were you right? Sort of. I actually thought that they would call the wedding off that day, but they went through with it. They are in the process of divorcing now.
    4) How long did it last? Almost 3 years.

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