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Moms and Maids
PiebarBride
member
Concerned for my bridesmaid
Hey everyone,
I have a friend who I asked to be a bridesmaid but the past few months have been very difficult. She is having some health issues and the medicine she is on is making her uncontrollable. Her emotions are all over the place and she has been sort of unreliable. I have been asking her as a friend to go talk to someone but she is refuses because money is tight or she doesn't have time. My mom and I have talked and are going to buy her dress for her but I am still really worried for her health. How do I tell her that she really needs to go talk to someone without it making it seem like I am cornering her or adding more stress to her. I just don't know what to do!?
I have a friend who I asked to be a bridesmaid but the past few months have been very difficult. She is having some health issues and the medicine she is on is making her uncontrollable. Her emotions are all over the place and she has been sort of unreliable. I have been asking her as a friend to go talk to someone but she is refuses because money is tight or she doesn't have time. My mom and I have talked and are going to buy her dress for her but I am still really worried for her health. How do I tell her that she really needs to go talk to someone without it making it seem like I am cornering her or adding more stress to her. I just don't know what to do!?
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Re: Concerned for my bridesmaid
First, please change your username for internet privacy.
My opinion is that if you've already been asking her to get help and she's refused, it's all you can really do. However, if she's using the "money is tight" excuse, ask her if her employer has an Employee Assistance Program. Some people aren't aware those exist or if their employer even has one. They can offer free or low-cost counseling.
Ditto PP. You have already said something to your friend. Keep the wedding out of your friendship. Remember to ask her about herself and see how she is doing. Sometimes (and I'm not accusing you of this, but previous posters have done this) wedding blinders go on and all you can talk about is the wedding. Its also very nice of your to purchase her dress for her.
As PP said, see if she has access to EAP. It can provide her with a few free sessions. Or also suggest she find an online support group. As gently as you can, keep suggesting that she make an appointment with her doctor. There may be a better medication option out there for her.
You've reached out to her and expressed concern for health, you've generously offered to buy her dress. I agree with suggesting EAP. You can't force someone to talk to a doctor or counselor if they don't want to. Just try to be there for her and encourage her to be in touch with her health care team if her symptoms don't subside or she can no longer maintain her normal activities.
But it's up to her if she wants to avail herself of any help. All you can do is reach out to her as you have without mentioning your wedding
But it's up to her if she wants to avail herself of any help. All you can do is reach out to her as you have without mentioning your wedding.
I may be reading between the lines here and making assumptions, but it kind of seems like you're saying "how can I help her?" but meaning "I'm worried she's going to be BSC and ruin the wedding."
Keep the wedding out of this - her being a BM in your wedding is unrelated to whatever is going on with her. It sounds like you've already voiced concerned and nudged her to get help. That's really all you can do. Sorry you're going through this.
If she doesn't want help, she will keep making excuses not to get help. All you can do is be there for her.
Glad to help!