Wedding Etiquette Forum

Plus one for a widow?

I'm pretty sure I'm overthinking this, but, it's not rude to give a widow a plus one is it?

All of our single guests are getting a plus one, except our 90 year old grandmothers (and really, if they want one they can have one too) and all S.O.s are invited. FH's aunt is a widow. I was planning on giving her a plus one. If it matters, her husband died 10 years ago (I never got to meet him). She wears her wedding and engagement rings every day, and talks about him a lot.

I just wanted to check and make sure people don't think it comes across as "We don't respect the memory of your late husband, bring a date."
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Re: Plus one for a widow?

  • A plus one isn't necessarily a date. She might bring a friend. It's not disrespectful to offer her the same option that you're offering everyone else.
    Precisely this.  A plus one doesn't have to be a romantic date.  She could bring a friend or a colleague or a family member or no one at all.  
  • It's definitely not disrespectful, but I probably wouldn't if it were me.  Maybe just because in my family everyone would think it was odd.  Definitely not disrespectful though. 
  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    As said, a plus one means the guest can bring literally anyone, so Aunt could choose to bring her friend or other family member.

    Since you are extending plus ones to your other guests, I would extend one to her as well. And just because you extend the offer doesn't mean she has to bring someone if she doesn't want to.


  • Agree with everyone so far and want to add if the aunt is older and doesn't like to travel along, or has to travel a long distance, or just wants to have a friend there a plus one is an easy way to allow her to arrange these things without having to ask whether she can have someone escort/attend with her. 
  • kvrunskvruns member
    First Anniversary First Comment 5 Love Its First Answer
    I would extend it, she may bring a child of hers or a good friend, especially if she doesn't like to travel alone she may appreciate the company
  • It's not like you're disrespecting her deceased husband by letting her bring a guest.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
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  • I think it's a really nice gesture.  If she does still wear her rings and talk about him, then it's very possible that the wedding will bring back memories for her.  It will be nice if she has the option to have a friend there.
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