Inappropriate?

DrillSergeantCat · July 2016

badbnagdway said:

The other guests were inappropriate. Even if this girl came nude to the wedding no one should have laid a hand on her and they should have kept the comments to themselves. You're absolutely, 100% right. I'm not sure how I would have reacted if I were her.

Places where the shortness, color or tightness of a dress dictates its appropriateness (at least to me): school, church, and work. Any outfit is inappropriate if it is showing your goods (ie, nips if you're a woman, and ass/privates for either gender) to the general public. Otherwise everything is just a matter of taste. So in short, to me, if this was an outdoor (not in a church) wedding then I don't think appropriate/inappropriate comes into play so long as the dress didn't ride up, or slip down, to expose her goods. That is an excellent point. It was an outdoor wedding, it was 90 degrees, she was dressed for the heat. I personally find her dress to be distasteful because of the color being so close to her skin tone, but she was covered in the necessary areas.

I was at a wedding once where the bride's boobs were really pushed up and on display in her dress and during the father-daughter dance the bride had a nip slip. I would deem the functionality of that wedding dress inappropriate in retrospect because it was extremely prone to wardrobe malfunction. This is what I am picturing:

SP29 · July 2016

I don't think she looks naked. When you said the dress was nude and you had to do a double take, I was picturing something sheer or lacey where it's hard to tell her skin from the dress. I didn't find that with this.

What rude guests- they should be ashamed.

I don't think it the best way to dress for a wedding, but there's nothing *wrong* with it (yes, this is a matter of my taste). If I had a body like hers, a night out at the club- sure.

MCmeow · July 2016

I don't see the problem with this... Sure I wouldn't wear this in a million years but I'm not her. I doubt she bought this dress thinking "I want to outshine the bride", she just wanted to wear something she feels good in. Body types also have a lot to do with it, I have a petite almost boy like figure and this dress would look pretty modest on me, it's the same dress though so would people say the same thing? Let her flaunt the muscles she's proud of. And the guests who touched her are disgusting. And in my opinion, it's a little too racy for a wedding, but that is my own opinion which shouldn't dictate anyone else, as long as she's not exposing anything or literally trying to upstage the bride, there's no problem.

downtondiva · July 2016

It's an ugly dress and totally inappropriate for a wedding, but the other guests should've kept their hands and beers to themselves. If they had an opinion on it, they should've saved it for gossip on the ride home.

Frankly I'm more annoyed by the attempt to attach some sort of inspirational crap to the whole incident than by the dress itself.

Vivandiere8 · July 2016

downtondiva said:

It's an ugly dress and totally inappropriate for a wedding, but the other guests should've kept their hands and beers to themselves. If they had an opinion on it, they should've saved it for gossip on the ride home.

Frankly I'm more annoyed by the attempt to attach some sort of inspirational crap to the whole incident than by the dress itself.

I feel more along these lines. Yes she has a nice body, but I don't like the dress and I do feel it is inappropriate for a wedding, but that is simply my opinion. If I saw her at the wedding I wouldn't say a word to her about it and certainly wouldn't condone the other guests behavior.

ernursej · July 2016

Even if she didn't have a rocking body, she can wear this dress or any other clothing item unless there is a stated dress code for the venue (i.e. shoulders covered/jackets for men).

Personally, I would never wear something like this but that's me.

Any unwanted touching is assault and police should have been called.

lovesclimbing · July 2016

I clicked on this link and was totally shocked at the dress ... because I was imagining something that was entirely a very skin-matching nude color (ETA: which this dress isn't, I don't think. I can very easily see it is an entirely different shade than her skin), backless, with a v down to her navel showing practically all of her boobs.

I do think it's a little short and tight to wear to a wedding, but certainly she didn't deserve butt slaps and stuff. Honestly, I wonder if she's exaggerating, because I can't imagine anyone doing that.

And there is no way that dress is the coolest option. Absolutely no way. Something with straps (so that it could be looser and thinner and not require the boning and supportive material and such that a strapless requires) and flowy would be much cooler.

levioosa · July 2016

I personally wouldn't wear that dress to a wedding, but holy shit people, back the fuck off. There is nothing wrong with the dress. I definitely don't think she looks nude at all. Her skin is clearly a different color than the dress. And seriously fuck the people who thought it was okay to slap her ass. That's completely inappropriate.

drunkenwitch · July 2016

Personally, I am fucking proud of her for fighting back and drawing attention to the way she was treated and I think the show of support is awesome. Rape culture and sexual harassment are systematic problem that has been dismissed and excused for too long. At this point I don't care if the dress was inappropriate or not, I want this conversation to happen and I want people to see that the behavior she experienced is unacceptable regardless of what she was wearing.

CraftyG · July 2016

This is just slut shaming and I am 100% not down for that shit. I personally love small bodycon dresses and they make me feel great about my body and if guys touch me inappropriately I do not stand for that at all, no one has any right to touch my body without my permission no exceptions. What other people wear literally does not affect other people in the slightest.

For a wedding I would probably wear something more girly and floral just because I never get an opportunity to wear 'pretty, girly ' dresses and that's a perfect excuse to wear one.

kaos16 · July 2016

I was just reading about this incident on a different news site and people claiming to be acquaintances of this woman are saying that the situation was exaggerated and it didn't happen at all how she portrays it. Who knows. I almost hope that she did exaggerate it because I don't want to think that people are really uncivilized enough to lay hands on another person at a wedding for what she is wearing!

kahluakoala · July 2016

downtondiva said:

It's an ugly dress and totally inappropriate for a wedding, but the other guests should've kept their hands and beers to themselves. If they had an opinion on it, they should've saved it for gossip on the ride home.

Frankly I'm more annoyed by the attempt to attach some sort of inspirational crap to the whole incident than by the dress itself.

QFT

photokitty · July 2016

This whole thing reeks of publicity stunt to me. First that photo was posted on her friend's fitness instagram account asking for opinions. Then after getting validation from the followers she came forward to save everyone from bullying with her own personal Hashtag.

Until the bride comes forward in solidarity, I'm guessing it's a huge exaggeration or fiction and she is trolling for her personal fitness coach business.

I hesitate to use this term, but it looks like internet AWing 101 to me. Seriously, the only photo is from her home, none with her "hubby or friends" or at the alleged outdoor location. I'm just not convinced it's not a stunt.

I feel compelled to note...While she is clearly clothed, the dress literally appears to be painted on, it has brush strokes and everything. Complete with coral painters tape...

photokitty · July 2016

Can we also just acknowledge the irony of a fitness model claiming she is victim of body shaming when she actively seeks out competitions to have people judge her body and give her prizes. Seriously, you ask people to praise and/or shame your body. You stand up on a stage and ask for your body to be judged against other competitor's bodies. I think she and her hobby are part of the body shaming problem, not the solution. Ranking bodies from best to worst seems like the definition of body shaming to me.

MandTFebruary62011 · July 2016

lyndausvi said:

I'm laughing at the fact that these guests actually thought she wore this dress to upstage the bride.

Really? Do men wearing tuxes, wear them to upstage the groom?

I hate this double standard. I also hate the people [sadly, mostly women] actually believe other women are trying to upstage them/others. Sure there are those who seek out attention, we all know who they are. However, the vast majority of people just do not dress to upstage others.

News flash, not every action has an ulterior motive attached. She liked the dress, she wore it. NBD.

Now the dress. NMS, looks more like a dress you wear to a club, but not inappropriate. Might standout in certain social groups, but that is a far cry from being inappropriate and deserving being bullied over.

The guests should be ashamed of themselves for shaming her.

This is totally unrelated to the post (dress = fine, people = awful) but you got me thinking... we had my niece and nephew (11 twins) over for the night a few weeks ago and took them to the pool. A young boy was playing with my nephew and his mom came over to thank us for letting nephew play with him. When she walked away my niece said "she was beautiful". I suggested she tell her she looks beautiful but my niece was too shy. Then she asked if I was intimidated by how pretty the boy's mom was.

I said no, and that I think we are all uncomfortable in our skin at times (this mom spent a lot of time looking at her reflection in the window, sucking in her stomach) and that she would have likely appreciated the compliment. I also told her that I can still feel pretty and know someone else is pretty as well.

It just made me really sad that at 11 years old she is already learning somewhere that we can't appreciate ourselves and respect others' beauty.

Sorry for hijacking, it's just been really bothering me and this made me think of where that starts.

banana468 · July 2016

I don't like the dress and think it's more club appropriate than wedding attire. She has a great body but I think she could have gone for something else IMO.

short+sassy · July 2016

drunkenwitch said:

Personally, I am fucking proud of her for fighting back and drawing attention to the way she was treated and I think the show of support is awesome. Rape culture and sexual harassment are systematic problem that has been dismissed and excused for too long. At this point I don't care if the dress was inappropriate or not, I want this conversation to happen and I want people to see that the behavior she experienced is unacceptable regardless of what she was wearing.

While I am getting a strong whiff of this being a possibly exaggerated or even fake story and an "AW, not so subtle advert for my biz", I agree 1000% that these are the kind of conversations that need to be taking place.

That kind of touching is a sexual assault and a crime...even when it is done by a person of the same gender. I'm sure most of us can tell a story(s) about being slapped on the ass/groped by a stranger in a bar. My younger self thought, "Well, it's annoying, but no big deal, I don't want to make a thing about it." But it IS a big deal and we need to make a thing about it. Otherwise, that behavior continues to happen. And that ugly, "not so unspoken" attitude pervades. That it's okay to assault/harass women if they are acting/dressed in a certain way.

I know I didn't go far enough, but I'm proud of myself the last time it happened to me. It was Halloween and I was dressed like a old movie type cigarette girl and was wearing a corset top. I live in NOLA and kept having some guy following me asking me to show him "the girls" for beads. I kept telling him "no" and "not interested". Then he reached over to try and pull the top of my corset down! I pushed that a** away as hard as I could and started screaming for a police officer. In my younger days, I would have just "let it go" and moved on. But not any more.

A police officer came right over and I explained what happened. That guy just kept repeating he was sorry, over and over again. He was crying and scared s**tless he was going to be arrested. Sadly, I doubt the police officer would have arrested him even if I had been more forceful about it. So he was let off with a "warning". But I like to think (and hope) it was the last time that loser thought it would be "fun and no big deal" to inappropriately touch someone without their permission.

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