EPIC read on a shit show Vegas wedding

Re: EPIC read on a shit show Vegas wedding

• CharmedPam member

  

  July 2016

  Thank you for this.  I didn't want to work anyway.
  
  

  
  

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• kvruns member

  

  July 2016

  I believe about 10 words in that post but it was certainly an amusing read. Thanks for sharing!

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• kmmssg mod

  

  July 2016

  I should have included her post from a couple of weeks ago with her concerns about this wedding.
  
  http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/invited-to-attend-elopement-but-they-seem-like-theyre-being-shady/
  

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  July 2016

  I'm sorry there is no way this is is real. 
  
  Also, I think the poster is Judgy McJudgerson with all her "tramp stamps" and "gum ball machine jewelry". 

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• CharmedPam member

  

  July 2016

  I felt like I was reading something from a movie, especially with the taser part. But seriously, I don't want to work today and I'm holding off on school work too.  It was entertaining to say the least. 

  
  

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• bleve0821 member

  

  July 2016

  I believed none of that.  Is this fan fic?

  
  

  "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
  

  --Philip Pullman

  
  

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• SP29 member

  

  July 2016

  Is this the real life?
  Is this just fantasy?
  Caught in a landslide, no escape from reality...
  
  But SERIOUSLY- who ARE these people? They can't be real. Why did this couple agree to go with them and share a suite?
  

  Report6 Reply
• OliveOilsMom member

  

  July 2016

  I just copy and pasted that into a Word doc, so I can read it later!  I didn't want to chance it being hidden!

  And reading the comments here, I can't wait to get to it! 

  Thanks kmmssg!

  

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• DrillSergeantCat member

  

  July 2016

  Well that was fun.

  

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• emmaaa mod

  

  July 2016

  Holy cow! That can't be real. Not possible.

  
  

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• flantastic member

  

  July 2016

  "Jesus, be a fence around my temper."

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• climbingsingle member

  

  July 2016

  flantastic said:

  "Jesus, be a fence around my temper."

  I don't even pray to Jesus, but I"m now using this forever. 
  
  I also have a hard time believing a lot of it. I mean, she SLAPPED the bride? 

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• CraftyG member

  

  July 2016

  Part of me thinks that this is like a sequel to Bridesmaids, food poisoning, crazy bridezilla, mistresses, dead strip club and tazers. Definitely made my day!

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• themosthappy91 member

  

  July 2016

  I can't decide whether to read this as a vert hilarious story that is definitely entirely made up, or as a very sad and frustrating story that is at least partially true. 
  
  If there's any chance it's true at all... honestly I'm side-eyeing the OP more than anything. She says in the earlier "concerns" post that they've known the groom for 15 years and the bride for three- and presumably they are close since they've traveled together before and are included in this intimate "elopement"- so it definitely reflects poorly on her that they are BFFs with a couple this out-of-control and trashy. It's not like there's a chance these were perfectly lovely people until all of a sudden on this trip they were selfish, inconsiderate, dysfunctional, sloppy drunks for the first time in their lives.
  
  Also what happened to the work friend who was going to stay with them? Or the other bridesmaids that I believe were alluded to in the "concerns" post? The day of the wedding reads as if it was basically just the four of them... something's not adding up there, lol. 

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  July 2016

  Fun read, but no way it's real. I stopped believing it about when the bride started yelling at the stripper. 

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• bleve0821 member

  

  July 2016

  The food poisoning from the grapes cleared up quickly.  They must have the constitutions of goats.  And Betty never showed up again.

  
  

  "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
  

  --Philip Pullman

  
  

  Report8 Reply
• kimmiinthemitten member

  

  July 2016

  Somehow this is the only part I actually believe:
  

  Bride cries all the way back to the condo & now looks like Sad Hooker Barbie or maybe Tammy Faye Bakker. Hubby & Groom are surprised we’re back so early and as I begin to tell Hubby about the hoopty & the less-than-average-looking dancers, Bride plasters on a fake smile and says I’m exaggerating and the guys were great & we had a great time, before disappearing into their bedroom alone
  

  At least she admits to being a pearl clutcher when it comes to drinking, small dresses and strip clubs while in Vegas.

  
  

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• sparklepants41 member

  

  July 2016

  AtomicBlonde said:

  The food poisoning from the grapes cleared up quickly.  They must have the constitutions of goats.  And Betty never showed up again.

  Yup. I noticed these plot holes as well.
  
  Plus all of the convenient, over-the-top-in-a-cheap-way metaphors and similes just made me think this was not real, rather a crappy creative writing assignment.

  

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• kimmiinthemitten member

  

  July 2016

  AtomicBlonde said:

  The food poisoning from the grapes cleared up quickly.  They must have the constitutions of goats.  And Betty never showed up again.

  Right?  How many dirty grapes do you think it takes to get food poisoning from them?

  
  

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• climbingsingle member

  

  July 2016

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  July 2016

  AtomicBlonde said:

  The food poisoning from the grapes cleared up quickly.  They must have the constitutions of goats.  And Betty never showed up again.

  Yea, but if they got food poisoning from dirty grapes, they must have incredibly weak constitutions. I've eaten plenty of dirty fruit in my lifetime. Never gotten food poisoning. 

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  July 2016

  sparklepants41 said:

  show previous quotes

  AtomicBlonde said:

  The food poisoning from the grapes cleared up quickly.  They must have the constitutions of goats.  And Betty never showed up again.

  Yup. I noticed these plot holes as well.
  
  Plus all of the convenient, over-the-top-in-a-cheap-way metaphors and similes just made me think this was not real, rather a crappy creative writing assignment.

  Someone in the comments actually told her she should be a writer. My inner bitch says surely that is a sarcastic comment? Surely!
  
  
  

               

  Report6 Reply
• MCmeow member

  

  July 2016 edited July 2016

  Wow that was entertaining, real or not. I actually just started going on weddingbee recently just to see all the drama when I'm bored, man, there is a lot of drama there.

  

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• themosthappy91 member

  

  July 2016

  climbingwife said:

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

  I should probably be ashamed it took me until that point but that's when I was finally like "Nope, this is definitely made up."
  
  It's also interesting to me no one questions her story in the comments... if that was posted on here people would be all over it. 

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  July 2016

  themosthappy91 said:

  show previous quotes

  climbingwife said:

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

  I should probably be ashamed it took me until that point but that's when I was finally like "Nope, this is definitely made up."
  
  It's also interesting to me no one questions her story in the comments... if that was posted on here people would be all over it. 

  Yeah... she forgot she had it in her purse until that moment. A fucking stungun in your bag and you forget you have it in there?

               

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• kimmiinthemitten member

  

  July 2016

  May I also add, that I'm not all that mad at Betty?
  
  She showed up prepared for a shit show, went along for the ride and figured out how to bounce when the going got rough.
  
  

  
  

  Report12 Reply
• charlotte989875 member

  

  July 2016

  glasgowtolondon said:

  show previous quotes

  themosthappy91 said:

  climbingwife said:

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

  I should probably be ashamed it took me until that point but that's when I was finally like "Nope, this is definitely made up."
  
  It's also interesting to me no one questions her story in the comments... if that was posted on here people would be all over it. 

  Yeah... she forgot she had it in her purse until that moment. A fucking stungun in your bag and you forget you have it in there?

  Right? I carry mace with me and I never forget that it's in my purse. 

  Report1 Reply
• kvruns member

  

  July 2016

  charlotte989875 said:

  glasgowtolondon said:

  themosthappy91 said:

  climbingwife said:

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

  I should probably be ashamed it took me until that point but that's when I was finally like "Nope, this is definitely made up."
  
  It's also interesting to me no one questions her story in the comments... if that was posted on here people would be all over it. 

  Yeah... she forgot she had it in her purse until that moment. A fucking stungun in your bag and you forget you have it in there?

  Right? I carry mace with me and I never forget that it's in my purse. 

  
  

  i was wondering if you're even allowed to bring a taser on a plane? She said they had a flight the next day

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• WinstonsGirl member

  

  July 2016

  Don't buy a word of it, but "He wanted to turn a hoe into a housewife" really cracked me up

  
  

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• Heffalump member

  

  July 2016

  glasgowtolondon said:

  show previous quotes

  themosthappy91 said:

  climbingwife said:

  Also, she used a taser on a rando at the club...

  I should probably be ashamed it took me until that point but that's when I was finally like "Nope, this is definitely made up."
  
  It's also interesting to me no one questions her story in the comments... if that was posted on here people would be all over it. 

  Yeah... she forgot she had it in her purse until that moment. A fucking stungun in your bag and you forget you have it in there?

  Right?  It's like the worst fanfic ever.  It's like me in creative writing in third grade:
  
  "Sudenly she remembered she had magic powers and used them to disapear and lived happyly ever after, the end."
  

  �

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