I can see that as a parent, I may want people to keep it down earlier so the kid can sleep and that's not a fair expectation. Ditto for TV or other activities. But this is largely dependent on the child.
I find it hard to believe that so many people will sleep well together in one house. It's not impossible but with some guests as complete strangers, it's not as likely.
I can absolutely see not wanting a kid in the house. I wouldn't. I just think it changes the atmosphere. But you have to actually tell GM this. Use your words. And soon!
Has the GM said he planned to stay in the house? He may have plans to get a hotel since he is bringing his daughter anyway. I would let him know there will be a party atmosphere. If after that he still wants to stay at the house I would just suck it up.
I can absolutely see not wanting a kid in the house. I wouldn't. I just think it changes the atmosphere. But you have to actually tell GM this. Use your words. And soon!
I agree with a kid changing the atmosphere in the house. I also would not really want to stay with a child I barely know in a beach house, not because I'd be having drunken orgies in the living room, but because it directly affects my comfort level with the way I speak and act, and I would be unable to relax...
But that's really not the point. Instead of being righteously indignant that the GM would dare THINK that he'd be allowed to take his wife and child on his out of state trip, your FI needs to tell him that the house and wedding are adults only, and if he wants to bring his child, he would need to find other accommodations. It's that simple.
It kind of seems like you're purposely dodging the question "what does your FI want to do about this?" You've said he was surprised that GM wanted to bring his wife and child. Now that he knows he does, does your FI want the child there or not?
1. OP, your FI is conspicuously absent from this discussion. I'm with the others, I want to know his position on all this.
2. So weird that your FI just assumed the GM would attend solo, but whatever.
3. I totally get not wanting to have a kid in the house, even if you're not running around naked. I do NOT get being in a panic over it.
4. I agree with PP: it's your event, so you and you FI are entitled to decide who is invited and who is not, including kids. But keep in mind that if they are traveling and don't have family on either end of the trip, not including the kid may end up excluding the GM. Just keep that in mind.
What's going to be going on at this house that you're so worked up about this one child being there? I mean, really, I would hope any "adult activities" would take place behind closed doors. As for drinking, your groomsman is an adult and can parent his own child without you butting in. I mean, are people going to be swinging from the chandeliers or something?
I was thinking the same thing. Earlier OP said the house will be "no place for a little kid to be running around"... isn't that for the father to decide? He's the parent. Let him parent his child and decide what's best for her.
However, like others have said, I think the real reason OP doesn't want a kid there is because it would change the atmosphere of the house and make it less fun. She should be honest that that's the reason she doesn't want a kid there, instead of making it sound like she's trying to look out for the kid's well-being. It's fine to not want a kid there, but OP's reasoning is silly.
We rented a house for my wedding weekend. 18 people shared the house of which 7 of them were between 6-13 years old. These were the only kids at the wedding. The house was also pretty much an open house all weekend.
Maybe it's my family/social group because kids never really changed the atmosphere too much. I mean we might watch our language somewhat (but curse words did fly out from time-to-time), but we still drink, laughed and told funny stories, sometimes with adult content. Sometimes one (or more) of us drinks a little too much. NBD. We are not the strip down naked and have orgies type-of people anyway.
That said, if you do not want the child at the house that's cool. Especially just one kid. They would most likely be bored and the parent will need to entertain them. In my situation the kids entertained themselves. Just address the issue head on.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
We rented a house for my wedding weekend. 18 people shared the house of which 7 of them were between 6-13 years old. These were the only kids at the wedding. The house was also pretty much an open house all weekend.
Maybe it's my family/social group because kids never really changed the atmosphere too much. I mean we might watch our language somewhat (but curse words did fly out from time-to-time), but we still drink, laughed and told funny stories, sometimes with adult content. Sometimes one (or more) of us drinks a little too much. NBD. We are not the strip down naked and have orgies type-of people anyway.
That said, if you do not want the child at the house that's cool. Especially just one kid. They would most likely be bored and the parent will need to entertain them. In my situation the kids entertained themselves. Just address the issue head on.
I think in your situation it may have worked better because there was more than one child. Then there's a group of them to entertain each other. It can be harder on the bored lone 7 yo.
But I still don't understand why the groom thought that the GM would attend alone. A lot of this smacks of making a lot of assumptions and poor communication. Groom needs to just tell the GM that the house is for adults only and he can recommend local hotels if they want to make it a family affair for the weekend but the wedding is adults only.
I let several of our WP and a few close friends crash at our place before and after the wedding. We didn't have any orgies or nudity or anything, but I agree it might have been awkward to have a kid around and understand not wanting that.
That being said, I think if I were you, I'd do the following:
(1) Discuss with FI whether you are willing to allow GM's child at the reception (sounds like you might be okay with that, just not the kid staying at the house, which makes sense).
(2) Remind your FI that you are going to be his wife, not his secretary. Make him call GM and explain that this is a "no kids" wedding (and while you might be willing to accommodate at the reception, you feel it may not be appropriate for the child to stay at the house). GM isn't your old buddy, so it shouldn't be your PR job to smooth things over with him. It's your FI's.
(3) If GM did not have any plans to stay elsewhere with his wife and child, and is concerned about where he will stay, you have two options: (a) offer to put them up somewhere else if it bothers your FI a lot that his friend might not make it otherwise, or (b) accept that GM may not be able to make it or be able to participate much if he does -- but it's really up to GM, not you. Both are fine solutions and totally proper.
Is the "big twist" that the 7 year old kid sees dead people?
It's that the groom is actually dead.
Seriously??? "The groom is dead" is your comment?? WTF is wrong with you???
Clearly that is a continuation of the Sixth Sense-referencing joke.
OMFG, spoiler alert!!!
The only twist in this tale is the OP'S panties.
I get it, having a single child in a house full of partying adults would be oddifficult. But all the assumptions you and FI made and your lack of communication with each other and your guests is even more odd.
Your *FI* needs to call his GM yesterday and let find out where the GM intends to stay. Then he needs to let GM know that the house and wedding are adults onlyou. He may think there's going to be a pile of kids around that weekend for his to play with.
Then you both have to decide if you're willing to accommodate this child if GM intended to stay at the house.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I would absolutely not want a child in the house. It changes the whole dynamic. FI needs to contact the GM ASAP to let him know the house rental is not intended for children. Have him apologize for any misunderstanding. Ask if he needs help finding other accommodations in the area. It may very well be an expense they did not expect, but there was a total lack of communication on both sides.
I wouldn't want a child in the house either, even if I did know them. I get what you are trying to plan for the weekend - fun adult conversations, hanging out, drinking, not a care in the world (minus the wedding, of course! lol) and just enjoying your time with friends. A child in the house would change the dynamics, so I totally understand your hesitation.
Like others have said, you need to get you FI to contact the GM right away. Since you didn't say something as soon as the GM mentioned it (don't know the guy, kind of shocked, I get it), then he may assume (to add to the list of assumptions going around) that you were okay with it and book whatever he needs to. If he has booked already and you didn't say anything right away, then I think you need to suck it up and allow the kid in the house. The GM may be budgeting for the three of them and has already assumed that accomodations are taken care of and will not budget for that. I think you'd regret, or at the very least your FI would regret it if the GM can't come because of this, so you definitely need to be prepared for that.
Just out of curiosity - does anyone think the groomsman was out of line to assume his family - including child - was invited to the out-of-town wedding? I don't really. I think it's a fair assumption unless the wedding couple proactively says something different.
Assuming his kid was invited? Yes, that was bit presumptuous. But assuming his wife was also invited? No, that's not out-of-line.
Just out of curiosity - does anyone think the groomsman was out of line to assume his family - including child - was invited to the out-of-town wedding? I don't really. I think it's a fair assumption unless the wedding couple proactively says something different.
Assuming his kid was invited? Yes, that was bit presumptuous. But assuming his wife was also invited? No, that's not out-of-line.
Just out of curiosity - does anyone think the groomsman was out of line to assume his family - including child - was invited to the out-of-town wedding? I don't really. I think it's a fair assumption unless the wedding couple proactively says something different.
Considering invitations hadn't gone out, no I don't think it is presumptuous -especially since it is very OOT for GM's family.
Just out of curiosity - does anyone think the groomsman was out of line to assume his family - including child - was invited to the out-of-town wedding? I don't really. I think it's a fair assumption unless the wedding couple proactively says something different.
Just out of curiosity - does anyone think the groomsman was out of line to assume his family - including child - was invited to the out-of-town wedding? I don't really. I think it's a fair assumption unless the wedding couple proactively says something different.
I don't know why I'm quoting you twice but I agree. If things aren't clarified it's understandable.
Hi there. This is the "OP" speaking. I've learned a lot since submitting my first post ever to an online forum, at the age of 38 years old. I went to the knot.com site and posted what I thought was a fairly innocent question for those to comment. You see, this is my first wedding (clearly most of you are pros at this) and I wasn't quite sure how to handle an awkward conversation with a member of the wedding party about a child being presumptuously invited to an adult wedding. I've receive more sh*t than I ever imagined receiving from some people on this website. Where's my "FI" in all of this??? Guess what?? He's working!! He has a job! I'm sorry I can not converse with him. Every. Second. Of. The. Day. He's not missing nor is he dead (sorry, just didn't appreciate the joke). We are contributing members of society and don't play on forums all day. Totally my bad to think that posing a quick question on a forum would be constructive. I will NEVER do so again.
***Already writing your comments....why don't you continue reading my whole post first****
I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?
***Still writing your comments....again why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
I am so disgusted by this one brief "online forum" experience. I grew up without social media and online anything and thank goodness. I can't imagine our young generation and what some of them must go through each day. There's signs in our neighborhood as there may be in yours to "Stop Bullying". Have any of you "parents" thought perhaps it should start from home. I'm an adult so I don't really give a sh*t what you say about me or my FI on this stupid post but this whole experience got me thinking about the kids that are cyber-bullied each day on other forums, blogs, social media, etc. Are you, as the great intellectual contributors you set yourself out to be in the knot.com posts, really setting good examples for our future generations??? I worry. I really worry.
***I'm not done....seriously why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
Light bulb moment: Your kids are not entitled to anything that You. Do. Not. Provide. I get it, every kid nowadays gets a participation trophy so it might be confusing to parents and kids alike. But, they are not entitled to go to someone else's wedding just because they are your pride and joy. I couldn't give two sh*ts about your kid. You want me to be honest about my feelings?? There's my honesty. You get offended that your kid isn't invited and therefore don't want to come? I don't give a f**k. You can't afford to take a couples only long weekend? Not my problem. Get a job. A better job.
Mic Drop.
P.S. GM was totally OK when FI spoke with him about kid not invited. Sounds like he must be reasonable.
Honey, the only one writing 'dumb ass comments' here is you. Seriously, what's with the stupid *I'm making assumptions again la di da!!!* comments throughout? You may have an attention span or communication problem; don't assume (there's that issue again) the rest of us do as well. And FFS, stop misusing the word bullying. If you truly gave even half as much of a shit about the issue as you claim you do you wouldn't minimize people's actual bullying experience by calling the feedback you received here bullying.
Also, this:
"I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?"
makes no sense. Literally, it does not make sense. Your final paragraph is just stupid, since nobody here is arguing anything close to what you're attempting to refute.
Hi there. This is the "OP" speaking. I've learned a lot since submitting my first post ever to an online forum, at the age of 38 years old. I went to the knot.com site and posted what I thought was a fairly innocent question for those to comment. You see, this is my first wedding (clearly most of you are pros at this) and I wasn't quite sure how to handle an awkward conversation with a member of the wedding party about a child being presumptuously invited to an adult wedding. I've receive more sh*t than I ever imagined receiving from some people on this website. Where's my "FI" in all of this??? Guess what?? He's working!! He has a job! I'm sorry I can not converse with him. Every. Second. Of. The. Day. He's not missing nor is he dead (sorry, just didn't appreciate the joke). We are contributing members of society and don't play on forums all day. Totally my bad to think that posing a quick question on a forum would be constructive. I will NEVER do so again.
***Already writing your comments....why don't you continue reading my whole post first****
I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?
***Still writing your comments....again why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
I am so disgusted by this one brief "online forum" experience. I grew up without social media and online anything and thank goodness. I can't imagine our young generation and what some of them must go through each day. There's signs in our neighborhood as there may be in yours to "Stop Bullying". Have any of you "parents" thought perhaps it should start from home. I'm an adult so I don't really give a sh*t what you say about me or my FI on this stupid post but this whole experience got me thinking about the kids that are cyber-bullied each day on other forums, blogs, social media, etc. Are you, as the great intellectual contributors you set yourself out to be in the knot.com posts, really setting good examples for our future generations??? I worry. I really worry.
***I'm not done....seriously why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
Light bulb moment: Your kids are not entitled to anything that You. Do. Not. Provide. I get it, every kid nowadays gets a participation trophy so it might be confusing to parents and kids alike. But, they are not entitled to go to someone else's wedding just because they are your pride and joy. I couldn't give two sh*ts about your kid. You want me to be honest about my feelings?? There's my honesty. You get offended that your kid isn't invited and therefore don't want to come? I don't give a f**k. You can't afford to take a couples only long weekend? Not my problem. Get a job. A better job.
Mic Drop.
P.S. GM was totally OK when FI spoke with him about kid not invited. Sounds like he must be reasonable.
There isn't a gif that could capture my eye rolling right now.
And, all of the drama OP is experiencing in her life makes total sense. Talk about making life way more difficult than it needs to be.
Oh, and there wasn't any bullying here. It's not bullying to suggest you deal with things maturely (you know, maybe communicate with the parties involved). Not sure how you survive if being told you need to stop making assumptions and communicate with people is a huge issue for you.
I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?
Well, I'm one that told you that you might need to "suck it up". Suck it up as in, when the GM mentioned it you simply hung up without saying a word, it was on you at that point to correct him but you didn't. You dropped the ball there, so I told you that you may need to suck it up and let the kid come - IF THEY HAD ALREADY BOOKED THEIR TRAVEL.... You ask if we hear ourselves talking but good golly miss molly, did you even read what was written and how I was sympathizing with you and understood why you wouldn't want kids in the house?!? Why did you post if you didn't want opinions?
***Still writing your comments....again why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
I am so disgusted by this one brief "online forum" experience. I grew up without social media and online anything and thank goodness. I can't imagine our young generation and what some of them must go through each day. There's signs in our neighborhood as there may be in yours to "Stop Bullying". Have any of you "parents" thought perhaps it should start from home. I'm an adult so I don't really give a sh*t what you say about me or my FI on this stupid post but this whole experience got me thinking about the kids that are cyber-bullied each day on other forums, blogs, social media, etc. Are you, as the great intellectual contributors you set yourself out to be in the knot.com posts, really setting good examples for our future generations??? I worry. I really worry.
People giving their opinion is not bullying you. People disagreeing with you is not bullying you. There is a huge difference between online bullying and people not agreeing with what you posted on an online wedding message board. Huge difference. So, stop playing miss victim and stay off of the computer if you can't handle people with different opinions than yourself.
***I'm not done....seriously why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
Light bulb moment: Your kids are not entitled to anything that You. Do. Not. Provide. I get it, every kid nowadays gets a participation trophy so it might be confusing to parents and kids alike. But, they are not entitled to go to someone else's wedding just because they are your pride and joy. I couldn't give two sh*ts about your kid. You want me to be honest about my feelings?? There's my honesty. You get offended that your kid isn't invited and therefore don't want to come? I don't give a f**k. You can't afford to take a couples only long weekend? Not my problem. Get a job. A better job.
You're right, not everyone's kids are entitled to come to your wedding (I'm dealing with my own kids/wedding thing, so I get it) but HOLY HELL you are lovely sounding. You couldn't give two shits about the GMs kid. Got it. Were you that big and bad, all tough, when the GM mentioned that there would be three of them, one of which was his kid? No. No, you were not. You hung up and didn't correct the situation right from the get go and came here for help. People offered advice and now you are upset, angry and stomping your feet to the people that tried to help you WHEN YOU ASKED A QUESTION WANTING HELP. You mentioned a participation trophy. Is that what you were looking for here? What exactly WERE you looking for?
Mic Drop.
P.S. GM was totally OK when FI spoke with him about kid not invited. Sounds like he must be reasonable.
Glad it all worked out for you. Guess you could have just asked him right from the start, when you originally had him on the phone, instead of coming here, asking a question and then freaking out when people gave their opinions.
Okay, now write your dumb a$$ comments.
You already win the award for that one in this thread...
I understand how "this is my first wedding" is a valid reason for not knowing how long photos might take, or a good flow for a ceremony, or how to go wedding dress shopping, but I have no idea how that is an valid reason for your current issue.
Have you never planned anything before that required communicating with people attending? "Hey friends, let's go camping. Oh, I'd like it to just be adults and not a family thing. How many of you are coming so that I can make the appropriate reservations?" "Hey family, lets have a large extended family Christmas dinner. How many people will be coming so I have enough seats?" Seriously, this is a similar skill for SO MANY other situations.
Also, your fiancé works. Congratulations. So do most of our significant others and yet we are still able to have certain conversations. No one was asking why you didn't talk to your fiancé this instant. We just asked why he wasn't involved in the conversation period.
Setiously, and since you kept bringing up your age, I wouldve expected much more maturity and general life experience that would have mitigated all of this.
Re: Help...kids at wedding...with a big twist
I find it hard to believe that so many people will sleep well together in one house. It's not impossible but with some guests as complete strangers, it's not as likely.
But that's really not the point. Instead of being righteously indignant that the GM would dare THINK that he'd be allowed to take his wife and child on his out of state trip, your FI needs to tell him that the house and wedding are adults only, and if he wants to bring his child, he would need to find other accommodations. It's that simple.
It kind of seems like you're purposely dodging the question "what does your FI want to do about this?" You've said he was surprised that GM wanted to bring his wife and child. Now that he knows he does, does your FI want the child there or not?
1. OP, your FI is conspicuously absent from this discussion. I'm with the others, I want to know his position on all this.
2. So weird that your FI just assumed the GM would attend solo, but whatever.
3. I totally get not wanting to have a kid in the house, even if you're not running around naked. I do NOT get being in a panic over it.
4. I agree with PP: it's your event, so you and you FI are entitled to decide who is invited and who is not, including kids. But keep in mind that if they are traveling and don't have family on either end of the trip, not including the kid may end up excluding the GM. Just keep that in mind.
5. Jesus be a quote button.
However, like others have said, I think the real reason OP doesn't want a kid there is because it would change the atmosphere of the house and make it less fun. She should be honest that that's the reason she doesn't want a kid there, instead of making it sound like she's trying to look out for the kid's well-being. It's fine to not want a kid there, but OP's reasoning is silly.
Someone suggested OP was planning an orgy in the livingroom, that would have been a good twist.
I agree it's weird OP and her fiance would think the groom would attend w/o his wife.
OP, your fiance just needs to call him up and tell him you guys prefer no kids there b/c it will change the atmosphere.
Your FI is the one who needs to explain to the GM that the event is adults-only and that you won't be able to accommodate his kid.
But do not put anything on your invitation about the wedding being adults-only. It's never polite to indicate on an invitation who isn't invited.
Maybe it's my family/social group because kids never really changed the atmosphere too much. I mean we might watch our language somewhat (but curse words did fly out from time-to-time), but we still drink, laughed and told funny stories, sometimes with adult content. Sometimes one (or more) of us drinks a little too much. NBD. We are not the strip down naked and have orgies type-of people anyway.
That said, if you do not want the child at the house that's cool. Especially just one kid. They would most likely be bored and the parent will need to entertain them. In my situation the kids entertained themselves. Just address the issue head on.
But I still don't understand why the groom thought that the GM would attend alone.
A lot of this smacks of making a lot of assumptions and poor communication. Groom needs to just tell the GM that the house is for adults only and he can recommend local hotels if they want to make it a family affair for the weekend but the wedding is adults only.
That being said, I think if I were you, I'd do the following:
(1) Discuss with FI whether you are willing to allow GM's child at the reception (sounds like you might be okay with that, just not the kid staying at the house, which makes sense).
(2) Remind your FI that you are going to be his wife, not his secretary. Make him call GM and explain that this is a "no kids" wedding (and while you might be willing to accommodate at the reception, you feel it may not be appropriate for the child to stay at the house). GM isn't your old buddy, so it shouldn't be your PR job to smooth things over with him. It's your FI's.
(3) If GM did not have any plans to stay elsewhere with his wife and child, and is concerned about where he will stay, you have two options: (a) offer to put them up somewhere else if it bothers your FI a lot that his friend might not make it otherwise, or (b) accept that GM may not be able to make it or be able to participate much if he does -- but it's really up to GM, not you. Both are fine solutions and totally proper.
The only twist in this tale is the OP'S panties.
I get it, having a single child in a house full of partying adults would be oddifficult. But all the assumptions you and FI made and your lack of communication with each other and your guests is even more odd.
Your *FI* needs to call his GM yesterday and let find out where the GM intends to stay. Then he needs to let GM know that the house and wedding are adults onlyou. He may think there's going to be a pile of kids around that weekend for his to play with.
Then you both have to decide if you're willing to accommodate this child if GM intended to stay at the house.
"Love is the one thing we're capable of perceiving that transcends time and space."
I wouldn't want a child in the house either, even if I did know them. I get what you are trying to plan for the weekend - fun adult conversations, hanging out, drinking, not a care in the world (minus the wedding, of course! lol) and just enjoying your time with friends. A child in the house would change the dynamics, so I totally understand your hesitation.
Like others have said, you need to get you FI to contact the GM right away. Since you didn't say something as soon as the GM mentioned it (don't know the guy, kind of shocked, I get it), then he may assume (to add to the list of assumptions going around) that you were okay with it and book whatever he needs to. If he has booked already and you didn't say anything right away, then I think you need to suck it up and allow the kid in the house. The GM may be budgeting for the three of them and has already assumed that accomodations are taken care of and will not budget for that. I think you'd regret, or at the very least your FI would regret it if the GM can't come because of this, so you definitely need to be prepared for that.
***Already writing your comments....why don't you continue reading my whole post first****
I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?
***Still writing your comments....again why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
I am so disgusted by this one brief "online forum" experience. I grew up without social media and online anything and thank goodness. I can't imagine our young generation and what some of them must go through each day. There's signs in our neighborhood as there may be in yours to "Stop Bullying". Have any of you "parents" thought perhaps it should start from home. I'm an adult so I don't really give a sh*t what you say about me or my FI on this stupid post but this whole experience got me thinking about the kids that are cyber-bullied each day on other forums, blogs, social media, etc. Are you, as the great intellectual contributors you set yourself out to be in the knot.com posts, really setting good examples for our future generations??? I worry. I really worry.
***I'm not done....seriously why don't you continue reading the whole post first****
Light bulb moment: Your kids are not entitled to anything that You. Do. Not. Provide. I get it, every kid nowadays gets a participation trophy so it might be confusing to parents and kids alike. But, they are not entitled to go to someone else's wedding just because they are your pride and joy. I couldn't give two sh*ts about your kid. You want me to be honest about my feelings?? There's my honesty. You get offended that your kid isn't invited and therefore don't want to come? I don't give a f**k. You can't afford to take a couples only long weekend? Not my problem. Get a job. A better job.
Mic Drop.
P.S. GM was totally OK when FI spoke with him about kid not invited. Sounds like he must be reasonable.
Okay, now write your dumb a$$ comments.
Honey, the only one writing 'dumb ass comments' here is you. Seriously, what's with the stupid *I'm making assumptions again la di da!!!* comments throughout? You may have an attention span or communication problem; don't assume (there's that issue again) the rest of us do as well. And FFS, stop misusing the word bullying. If you truly gave even half as much of a shit about the issue as you claim you do you wouldn't minimize people's actual bullying experience by calling the feedback you received here bullying.
Also, this:
"I've been told to "be an adult" and "suck it up" and "deal with it" and "don't judge", etc. I've been told I make too many assumptions....WTF?? It's rude for me to bring something up proactively but my bad if I make an assumption that someone wouldn't be rude but when they are just suck it up?? And then I'm the rude person?? Huh?? Do you people hear yourself talking?"
makes no sense. Literally, it does not make sense. Your final paragraph is just stupid, since nobody here is arguing anything close to what you're attempting to refute.
I give your rant a C-.
JIC.
Oh, and there wasn't any bullying here. It's not bullying to suggest you deal with things maturely (you know, maybe communicate with the parties involved). Not sure how you survive if being told you need to stop making assumptions and communicate with people is a huge issue for you.
Don't be such a damn drama queen. How the hell do you manage to walk with your panties twisted so tightly in your butt crack?
Have you never planned anything before that required communicating with people attending? "Hey friends, let's go camping. Oh, I'd like it to just be adults and not a family thing. How many of you are coming so that I can make the appropriate reservations?" "Hey family, lets have a large extended family Christmas dinner. How many people will be coming so I have enough seats?" Seriously, this is a similar skill for SO MANY other situations.
Also, your fiancé works. Congratulations. So do most of our significant others and yet we are still able to have certain conversations. No one was asking why you didn't talk to your fiancé this instant. We just asked why he wasn't involved in the conversation period.
Setiously, and since you kept bringing up your age, I wouldve expected much more maturity and general life experience that would have mitigated all of this.