Wedding Woes

Do any of you ever just want to do something crazy?

edited July 2016 in Wedding Woes
I'm not talking like blow up your workplace or shoot somebody kind of crazy (even though, let's be honest, we all have those thoughts from time to time). I'm talking like move across the country or, even better, move to a different country kind of crazy. 

I've had a little fire inside me recently to move somewhere completely different. Alaska, Colorado and Canada are on the top of my list right now. For the majority of my life I have been dedicated to living in Tennessee. I love it here, but I have been feeling restless lately. I presented my thoughts to DH tonight and he was totally taken aback. Not because he'd never want to move, but more because of the whole "what about our house and our family and our money and all of the things I can possibly think of" kind of thing. I know he is being rational, and that is fine, but I also know that the best time to do something like that is probably when we don't have kids... which is now (or in the next 1-3 years). He's not finding any pilot jobs around here, so why not shop around? To be fair, I have wanted to move to Colorado for a long time, so that is not a random idea for me.

Anybody else just get the itch to do something different sometimes?


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Re: Do any of you ever just want to do something crazy?

  • edited July 2016
    All the time. I still can't decide whether I want a degree in law or special education, and there's a part of me that still wants to join the Peace Corps. I also want to get a motorcycle license and ride cross-country on a Harley.
  • @OurWildKingdom I am so happy to hear that I'm not alone!! I just hate feeling like I am growing stagnant, and it's feeling that way these days! Here's to not being ok with just watching life pass us by! :)

  • Every damn day. I want to learn how to sail, back pack for an extended period of time, have a little adventure. There is nothing really holding me back at this point so I don't really know why I am not planning it.
  • I get that feeling from time to time. I usually find that a vacation to somewhere far away helps me to settle things.
  • Yes, and the feeling started within weeks of finally graduating and starting a real job.  Moving halfway across the country and changing jobs within my company last year helped (and will help again this year, and every 4-7 years as long as I want to stay in the field), but I think it's just a restlessness that will never go away (at least for me).  And I think it's a combination of resentment that I have to spend the next 30-40 years of my life working (not that I hate my job, it just is so time consuming) and serious ADHD and craving for intellectual stimulation.

    I'm starting to feel like all of the things I want to do and dream of doing I just can't cram into one lifetime.  For instance, I'll never have enough PTO to hike the PCT or the AT while I'm able-bodied enough to do it, and we can't afford to just not work.

    I have seriously considered going back to school, but I've talked to too many people who say that, at least in my line of work, an MBA is a waste of time and money because everyone has one.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • FWIW, I dated a guy who was a pilot.  He did pretty well flying private airplanes in Colorado:  charters, the occasional jet, and a lot of moving a plane from one spot to another (i.e. flew into Denver, now someone else needs it in Aspen).  If he's having a hard time landing a spot with one of the big carriers, that might be a good option.

    But to your original question yeah, I spent about half of my commute this morning trying to think of jobs DH and I could get in the mountains that pay close to what we're making now, so we can chuck it all and live up there full time. 
  • This thread inspired me to hike a new trail this weekend. Thanks guys.
  • All the time. Basically I feel this way whenever my life feels out of my control, or when things get a bit quiet. Right now I've been researching complete career changes, and one of them involves us moving to Canada. All based off of one amazing holiday in Vancouver!
                 
  • I was talking to a co-worker last month when I was in the office about how I hit a wall in the April/May timeframe.   I was just hating everything about my life.  I realized that I was getting burn-out from feeling like I was serving people all.the.time.  At work and at home.  My mind was constantly occupied with everything I felt was a 'fire' that needed to be put out.  This was also when DH transitioned to working 3rd. 

    Once we settled into our new schedule and routine, things got better. 

    Also, booking our October anniversary trip did HUGE things for my mental state.  Having something so amazing to look forward to helps keep the dumb, petty shit from getting to me and it's also motivated us to look forward to what we're going to do next year (travel and house-wise). 
  • All the time. Basically I feel this way whenever my life feels out of my control, or when things get a bit quiet. Right now I've been researching complete career changes, and one of them involves us moving to Canada. All based off of one amazing holiday in Vancouver!

    Canada is awesome. Vancouver is great but SO expensive for housing. Unless you have a cool million or want to live in the outer areas, you'll be living in 500 sq ft for $600,000.
  • All. The. Time. 

    But it I think it has a lot to do with how I'm feeling about my career and home life as @mrs.conn23 said. I don't love my career path and even though I just took a new job I'm not all that excited. I don't love (and sometimes dislike) a significant component of my job and I never saw my self actually doing that part. So I fantasize about quitting, traveling, and then forcing myself to figure out what I do want to do, because I know it isn't this. 

    But studenloans, mortgage payments, and bills keep me from actually doing that. 
  • @thefanciestbeckler I just asked my FI if his company has a branch in Colorado three days ago. The state of education in our state is beyond ridiculous and they just keep cutting education funding while increasing secondary education tuition. We will have to move in a few years anyway because the school system we're in now is the worst in the state, so why not move somewhere that has their education system fully funded? There are other benefits to Colorado as well so I'm telling him to keep his ear out for any open positions there. 
  • I think everyone feels this way, either from time to time or quite frequently. I've been fairly calm and happy lately, but DH is currently feeling like all he does is spin his wheels- work, relax, sleep, repeat. 

    It's interesting that so many people feel this way. I wonder what the root cause is, or if it's cultural. When I was hanging out with my BFF the other day, we were relaying petty annoyances and kicking ourselves over our white privilege / first world problems. Really, our lives are pretty great. 

    I think one can do little things to bust out of a rut. Act like a tourist in your home town. Order a cuisine you've never tried. Hike a new trail like a PP said. Save and actually book that next vacation. Honestly, DH and I prioritize short weekend getaways over long, expensive vacations- it gives us a break and lets us do new things without that pressure of being away from work for too long. 

    I find it interesting what makes someone get up and go. My mom moved across an ocean to be with my dad. I have friends that have up and left our hometown area to move to places where they know no-one. DH and I won't do that; we like being within a hour or so of our parents. So I admire that trait in others that gets them to take big risks with their lives. 

    ________________________________


  • always. 
    my wanderlust is pretty bad - i travel as much as possible. 
    i've tried to talk DK into being open to an international assignment, but he's wary about that. I'd love to work overseas for a few years. we did up and move across the country 6 years ago for my job, and for the right opportunity we'd probably be open to doing that again - most of the places i'd be sent on an international assignment (emerging markets) make him a bit wary. If they were going to send me to western Europe, it would be an easier sell. 

    i chopped my hair off and dyed it purple a few weeks ago, so that helped. (the purple ended up more burgundy, so not completely inappropriate for a corporate job - but maybe leaning against the boundaries.)

    if money was not a concern, I would do a lot more. 

  • I'm not one to have wanderlust .... but reference, since you do want to come to Canada, was there a place that you were looking at? There's some upsides/downsides I could give you heads up before going if you want :)
  • barbie - mine used to be pink, but since I'm interviewing for accounting jobs, I had to go more natural. I miss my cotton candy pink hair. 
  • A few months after we married, H told me he wanted to consider going to umpire school in FL.  It was always a job he wanted to have, but his dad died right after he graduated high school and his mom was a mess and pretty much had a mental breakdown - his dad's death was very sudden.  He knew he couldn't leave her.  But by the time we got together and started dating his mom was doing so much better and really pulled herself back together.

    He also hated his one job.  He was a part-time school aide.  He loved his second job, which was his karate school.  But he got a degree in computers and wasn't using it.  So thoughts came back in about the umpire school.  Which as he told me about it, is very in depth, but the worse part is your work schedule after.  It can take years to get even up to AAA ball.  You are basically always traveling.  And you don't get paid very well.

    I think I probably had a similar reaction to TFB's H.  It had come out of no where!  I was shocked and we had a long conversation about it.  He decided not to do it and kept his aide job.  But a few months after starting that, he met the new technology person at the school he worked at (he applied for that job but wasn't considered).  That person was able to get him in at his other job, he split his time between two school districts.  So my H finally got into a full time job related to his degree.  He absolutely loves his job too!  He has a new superintendent whose is encouraging him to get certifications (and being reimburse for all costs).  Once he gets them (he passed test 1 of 3 on Monday!), his boss is going to give him more money and eventually an admin position.

    My H still has dreams of moving.  But now they are strictly to Hawaii! 

  • edited July 2016

    H and I had serious plans to move to the mountains. We'd submitted his resume to a few places and looked online at apartments.

    Then we bought a house 20 minutes from the house I grew up in.

    I kept going back to "what if we'd already moved when mom got sick?" and thinking about how my dad isn't getting any younger. Plus my brother sucks so that leaves my sister alone to help dad out with anything.

    We have a plan to revisit our Montana dream in 5 years.

    ETA: I'm only editing to show off for those who can't.

    Actual ETA: Fancybeck, H and I spent one evening in Chattanooga and H LOVED it. We literally drove in after a full day of driving (from Key West), got gas, a hotel and went to bed. But for some reason H TOTALLY LOVED Chattanooga. I have no idea why; we know nothing about it, LOL. He wants to go back.

    Image result for someecard betting someone half your shit youll love them forever
  • We moved from TX to VA kind of on a whim, and not once have I regretted it!
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
  • Since the divorce and giving up the house, I think about it all the damn time.  The only thing that kept me from flying the coop to Chicago at least is my parents.  They're both getting older.  Mom can't take care of Dad like she used to and I worry about them.  I've got a few things to get through, but it sits in the back of my mind that I really don't have anything totally irreplaceable in this area to keep me here now.
  • I'm not talking like blow up your workplace or shoot somebody kind of crazy (even though, let's be honest, we all have those thoughts from time to time). I'm talking like move across the country or, even better, move to a different country kind of crazy. 

    I've had a little fire inside me recently to move somewhere completely different. Alaska, Colorado and Canada are on the top of my list right now. For the majority of my life I have been dedicated to living in Tennessee. I love it here, but I have been feeling restless lately. I presented my thoughts to DH tonight and he was totally taken aback. Not because he'd never want to move, but more because of the whole "what about our house and our family and our money and all of the things I can possibly think of" kind of thing. I know he is being rational, and that is fine, but I also know that the best time to do something like that is probably when we don't have kids... which is now (or in the next 1-3 years). He's not finding any pilot jobs around here, so why not shop around? To be fair, I have wanted to move to Colorado for a long time, so that is not a random idea for me.

    Anybody else just get the itch to do something different sometimes?


    ETA words
    Come to Canada, we have Kinder Eggs, health care and Justin Trudeau. 
    YES!!!! Down side .... humidity right now :(
  • I'm not talking like blow up your workplace or shoot somebody kind of crazy (even though, let's be honest, we all have those thoughts from time to time). I'm talking like move across the country or, even better, move to a different country kind of crazy. 

    I've had a little fire inside me recently to move somewhere completely different. Alaska, Colorado and Canada are on the top of my list right now. For the majority of my life I have been dedicated to living in Tennessee. I love it here, but I have been feeling restless lately. I presented my thoughts to DH tonight and he was totally taken aback. Not because he'd never want to move, but more because of the whole "what about our house and our family and our money and all of the things I can possibly think of" kind of thing. I know he is being rational, and that is fine, but I also know that the best time to do something like that is probably when we don't have kids... which is now (or in the next 1-3 years). He's not finding any pilot jobs around here, so why not shop around? To be fair, I have wanted to move to Colorado for a long time, so that is not a random idea for me.

    Anybody else just get the itch to do something different sometimes?


    ETA words
    Come to Canada, we have Kinder Eggs, health care and Justin Trudeau. 
    YES!!!! Down side .... humidity right now :(
    OMG, I'm in Southern Ontario and all I have to say is thank GOD for central air everywhere!!! I think today it's supposed to hit 41*C with the humidity (106*F).
  • @TrixieJess  same. No a/c and our apt gets afternoon heat :'(!! but 73 days until we move out of there :smiley:

  • Heffalump said:
    FWIW, I dated a guy who was a pilot.  He did pretty well flying private airplanes in Colorado:  charters, the occasional jet, and a lot of moving a plane from one spot to another (i.e. flew into Denver, now someone else needs it in Aspen).  If he's having a hard time landing a spot with one of the big carriers, that might be a good option.

    But to your original question yeah, I spent about half of my commute this morning trying to think of jobs DH and I could get in the mountains that pay close to what we're making now, so we can chuck it all and live up there full time. 
    This definitely is playing into my thought process. DH is having a hard time finding a job in our area or surrounding cities. I thought there may be more opportunities in Colorado since there are so many ski towns. I'm glad to know that it really is possible to get something out there and do pretty well :)

  • I'm not one to have wanderlust .... but reference, since you do want to come to Canada, was there a place that you were looking at? There's some upsides/downsides I could give you heads up before going if you want :)
    I'll be in Montreal in October for a few days. Any tips? All I know for sure is that I'm going to the Habs/Pens game.

    @DrillSergeantCat  - the first thing I'm doing when I retire ( in ~25-30 years) is dyeing my hair some sort of fabulous color/colors. I never did it in college, and with working a corporate job for the last 10 years, can't get away with it. Right now it's this - but since it was layered over auburn, ended up more burgundy. I'm going to touch it up in a week or 2, so might end up with more intensity on the purple. 

  • I'm not talking like blow up your workplace or shoot somebody kind of crazy (even though, let's be honest, we all have those thoughts from time to time). I'm talking like move across the country or, even better, move to a different country kind of crazy. 

    I've had a little fire inside me recently to move somewhere completely different. Alaska, Colorado and Canada are on the top of my list right now. For the majority of my life I have been dedicated to living in Tennessee. I love it here, but I have been feeling restless lately. I presented my thoughts to DH tonight and he was totally taken aback. Not because he'd never want to move, but more because of the whole "what about our house and our family and our money and all of the things I can possibly think of" kind of thing. I know he is being rational, and that is fine, but I also know that the best time to do something like that is probably when we don't have kids... which is now (or in the next 1-3 years). He's not finding any pilot jobs around here, so why not shop around? To be fair, I have wanted to move to Colorado for a long time, so that is not a random idea for me.

    Anybody else just get the itch to do something different sometimes?


    ETA words
    Come to Canada, we have Kinder Eggs, health care and Justin Trudeau. 
    YES!!!! Down side .... humidity right now :(
    Humidity is NO biggie to me. I live in Tennessee, which is basically like walking around under a hot, wet blanket all the time. It's so humid that you can practically drink the air. I'll definitely be hitting you ladies up for advice if we end up moving to Canada! We will need all the pointers and tips we can get!



  •  

    H and I had serious plans to move to the mountains. We'd submitted his resume to a few places and looked online at apartments.

    Then we bought a house 20 minutes from the house I grew up in.

    I kept going back to "what if we'd already moved when mom got sick?" and thinking about how my dad isn't getting any younger. Plus my brother sucks so that leaves my sister alone to help dad out with anything.

    We have a plan to revisit our Montana dream in 5 years.

    ETA: I'm only editing to show off for those who can't.

    Actual ETA: Fancybeck, H and I spent one evening in Chattanooga and H LOVED it. We literally drove in after a full day of driving (from Key West), got gas, a hotel and went to bed. But for some reason H TOTALLY LOVED Chattanooga. I have no idea why; we know nothing about it, LOL. He wants to go back.

    That is too funny lol. Chattanooga is actually a really cool little town. There's a lot to do and we have an awesome local restaurant/bar scene. If you guys ever come back I can give you some tips on what to check out!


  • @TrixieJess  same. No a/c and our apt gets afternoon heat :'(!! but 73 days until we move out of there :smiley:

    I will never live in a non-A/C building/house ever again. Mind you, we only need to turn ours on when it hits 35*C outside with the humidex. We live in a Victorian house surrounded by trees near the lake. 
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