This is incredibly frustrating. I don't want her to be a guest book attendant or any crap like that. I'm looking for solutions not more problems. The other roles are set in stone. I'm looking for a creative way to incorporate her that isn't a job, if you don't have any ideas, don't bother posting! Why waste both of our times? If I wanted all of these personal attacks, I would have posted in the snarky brides section. Just be helpful or leave.
OP, in your short history on these forums you have shown that you don't take advice or suggestions unless they are what you want to hear/read. Not all your posts have ended in tantrums but some have. You might want to lurk/think hard before posting in the future.
OP, you are basically saying "I want to go to the moon, but I don't want to use any kind of rocket. Tell me how to get there." And everyone here is saying "Sorry, hon, you can either use a rocket to get to the moon, or go somewhere else that doesn't require a rocket." And you're pissed at us for not having some magical thing that doesn't exist. You've gotten at least a dozen valid suggestions, and you're still throwing little tantrums. Maybe you need to improve your personal quality.
Invite her to her nails/hair done with the rest of you.
Give her a corsage.
Take pictures of just you and her (or you and both his sisters)
I've been in some of my siblings weddings and not in others. No big deal. (ETA - and one sibling wedding I was in I would have been WAY HAPPIER being just a regular guest. Really, I could have done without the "honor" of being a BM)
I did make my DH's sisters BMs, but not my brothers' wives. However, they were included in getting nails and hair done. They were in the room with all the BMs while getting ready. I took pictures with just them. They felt included even though they didn't have some made-up BS role.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
What's wrong with being a guest? I feel like that's a decent role.
This.
I love just being a guest at a wedding. I've been a BM like 5 times now and I pick guest every time.
Being a BM is so overrated IMO. It sometimes feels more like a job than an honor.
A made-up role to make me feel included? Yeah, no. She already said she didn't want to do a reading. I'm sure she is fine not having some made-up role. Just being there make her included.
What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests. Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated.
OP, you are basically saying "I want to go to the moon, but I don't want to use any kind of rocket. Tell me how to get there." And everyone here is saying "Sorry, hon, you can either use a rocket to get to the moon, or go somewhere else that doesn't require a rocket." And you're pissed at us for not having some magical thing that doesn't exist. You've gotten at least a dozen valid suggestions, and you're still throwing little tantrums. Maybe you need to improve your personal quality.
Easy. Put an open trash can up there and then just follow the raccoons.
I think you've gotten lots of good suggestions. If you don't want to have her as a bridesmaid for whatever reason, invite her to pre-wedding things like mani/pedi, dress shopping, getting ready beforehand, etc. Our best man's wife is one of our best friends but she was not included in my wedding party. However, she did everything with us beforehand since her husband and daughter (flower girl) were in the wedding anyway. I also didn't want her to feel left out, and she seemed perfectly fine with how she was included without being a BM.
I also have an aunt who I am extremely close to (basically a second mother to me) and wanted to honor/include her in some way. She also came early and hung out with us before, and we had her escorted down the aisle before the grandparents.
Having said all that, I'm also confused by the small WP/wanting to include every member of your large family. We had about 200 guests and four GM and four BM. I also have a large extended family; one of my cousins was a BM and no one was hurt or "left out."
Re: How to include my fiance's sister?
You'll never be subject to a cash bar, gap, potluck wedding, or b-list if you marry a Muppet Overlord.
Have her as a BM
Included her in getting ready.
Invite her to dress shopping
Invite her to her nails/hair done with the rest of you.
Give her a corsage.
Take pictures of just you and her (or you and both his sisters)
I've been in some of my siblings weddings and not in others. No big deal. (ETA - and one sibling wedding I was in I would have been WAY HAPPIER being just a regular guest. Really, I could have done without the "honor" of being a BM)
I did make my DH's sisters BMs, but not my brothers' wives. However, they were included in getting nails and hair done. They were in the room with all the BMs while getting ready. I took pictures with just them. They felt included even though they didn't have some made-up BS role.
I love just being a guest at a wedding. I've been a BM like 5 times now and I pick guest every time.
A made-up role to make me feel included? Yeah, no. She already said she didn't want to do a reading. I'm sure she is fine not having some made-up role. Just being there make her included.
I also have an aunt who I am extremely close to (basically a second mother to me) and wanted to honor/include her in some way. She also came early and hung out with us before, and we had her escorted down the aisle before the grandparents.
Having said all that, I'm also confused by the small WP/wanting to include every member of your large family. We had about 200 guests and four GM and four BM. I also have a large extended family; one of my cousins was a BM and no one was hurt or "left out."