Name change nonsense

100yroldblinddog · June 2016

Hi there! This one's for all the marrieds who changed middle and last names and survived.

I'm in the middle of the excruciating process of changing my name so that my name is now Firstname Middlenameismaidenname Marriedlastname. This is proving to be a huge pain in the ass. Legally, this is my name and my new social security card reflects this, but the Department of Transportation will not issue me a new license unless I can provide two additional documents (not including my social security card or marriage license) that identify me as Firstname Middlenameismaidenname Marriedlastname specifically. This is proving to be a catch-22 since things like my auto insurance and registration can't be changed until my license is.

The DMV even rejected my bank's proof of name change because the paperwork wasn't my monthly statement. I've contacted my utility companies and am also waiting to receive forms so I can change my name with them. (If it helps, I live in Pennsylvania.)

I was really hoping to speed this along but I can't think of anything I can change over to my current name easily. Has anyone else done this and/or has any tricks to help me out?

TL;DR: Married person can't change middle and last name with DMV without proof that the new name is real. Any thoughts on what documents I can change then submit to the DMV?

AddieCake · June 2016

Doesn't the DMV usually just require a bill in that name?

100yroldblinddog · June 2016

They do - two, in fact. I'm getting a ton of runaround about getting forms sent to me in a timely manner. My utility company, for instance, won't change my name until I fill out a form that will come to me from a third party in a couple of days. And when that's figured out, the DMV will only accept my next bill thereafter as proof.

OliveOilsMom · June 2016

Student loan?

I know some states do things differently and you are required to put your intended future name on your marriage license. Is PA one of those states? Is that why you are having a hard time?

AddieCake · June 2016

Yikes. Yeah, that's a pain in the ass. My husband had a hard time at the DMV when we first moved b/c the paystub his boss sent for proof of address had a LABEL on it, and ZOMG, ANYONE COULD HAVE PUT THAT ON THERE! Ridiculous. So his boss had to send a special one with his name and address typed on the envelope. Ugh.

I hope it gets done for you as quickly as possible!

kimmiinthemitten · June 2016

A quick google search says that your marriage license is enough if you're changing to your husbands last name, but the two additional documents are required for non-traditional name changes. I'm guessing your middle name change is considered non traditional or you had a clerk that confused the rules.

I'd call the DMV's main line and ask for clarification and advice. When I was trying to help my brother get a new ID they were a huge help when he was initially rejected.

100yroldblinddog · June 2016

I'm starting to feel like one of those poster who only wants to argue and tell everyone how hopeless my situation is! Sorry!

@OliveOilsMomI'm really lucky and don't have student loans. And unfortunately for this situation, in PA, when you apply for a marriage license, you apply with your current, pre-marriage name.

100yroldblinddog · June 2016

@Kimmiinthemitten - I think that my request is considered 'non-traditional', and it'd be good to ask for clarification, thanks for suggesting.

I actually did go back to the DMV with name change verification and account info from two banks, and they were rejected because they weren't statements. Ugh. It'll get done, but it's just going to be another month or so of some of my stuff with my old name and some with my new name.

@AddieCake - the DMV was treating my documentation similarly to your H's Labelgate. Even though I had enough paperwork (one of which was on bank letterhead), they were still suspect. Obviously I had fabricated the official bank documents.

charlottesmom0626 · June 2016

This is weird; I'm in PA and walked in with my SSC and they changed it. Didn't ask for my marriage license or any other proof.

AddieCake · June 2016

charlottesmom0626 said:

This is weird; I'm in PA and walked in with my SSC and they changed it. Didn't ask for my marriage license or any other proof.

Did you change your middle name, too?

madamerwin · June 2016

What a pain in the ass! In my state (OR), changing your maiden to your middle and taking your H's last name is one of many approved name change options, so all I needed was the receipt from the Social Security office showing I started the process with them, and a certified copy of my marriage license. I didn't even have to have my new SS card - just a receipt dated at least one day earlier was sufficient.

Jells2dot0 · June 2016

AddieCake said:

charlottesmom0626 said:

This is weird; I'm in PA and walked in with my SSC and they changed it. Didn't ask for my marriage license or any other proof.

Did you change your middle name, too?

This is what I did. I changed both my middle name and last name. To further complicate matters, I didn't even have my maiden name as a part of my legal name because I was married previously. I was firstname middlename exlastname that changed to firstname maidenname newmarriedname. This was in AZ, though.

NotATotalBetty · June 2016

This sounds like a huge PITA, sorry you are going through this. Hope you can get the docs/bills quickly.

I do intend to similarly change my name after marriage, and be FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewLastName. In order to do that legally in New York even before Social Security, you have to do a full court petition for name change first. (New York will not let you change your middle name due to marriage). THEN do all the other rigmarole for SS/DMV/airlines/etc. I hear you on hoops for non traditional name changes.

I've tried to think through other options, but ultimately I really want to keep my full birth name AND take his last name, and not have to hyphenate. So I will jump through hoops to legally have my cake and eat it too.

Good luck!

100yroldblinddog · June 2016

NotATotalBetty said:

This sounds like a huge PITA, sorry you are going through this. Hope you can get the docs/bills quickly.

I do intend to similarly change my name after marriage, and be FirstName MiddleName MaidenName NewLastName. In order to do that legally in New York even before Social Security, you have to do a full court petition for name change first. (New York will not let you change your middle name due to marriage). THEN do all the other rigmarole for SS/DMV/airlines/etc. I hear you on hoops for non traditional name changes.

I've tried to think through other options, but ultimately I really want to keep my full birth name AND take his last name, and not have to hyphenate. So I will jump through hoops to legally have my cake and eat it too.

Good luck!

Good luck to you too! I advise trying to have more patience than I currently have.

jenna8984 · June 2016

Why do you need your maiden/middle with the DMV?

I changed my middle and last with Social Security. Brought that form to the DMV and they handed me a license with just my first name and new last name. They left the middle spot blank and I'm like hey whatever, not my problem. I just left it like that. When I book airline tickets and stuff I leave out the middle initial so it'll match my ID.

shaker227 · July 2016

I was able to change my middle name at the DMV in PA with my social security card, passport, and voter registration card.

100yroldblinddog · July 2016

@jenna8984 As PPs have mentioned, changing your middle name with the DMV is a 'non-traditional' name change. I could have just changed my last name, sure, but I didn't want to. I wanted to change my middle and last names.

@shaker277 that's what I'm going to end up doing - I've already changed my voter registration, and I still need a new passport picture so I can change my passport too. It's just annoying that it takes so long to change things over!

[Deleted User] · July 2016

Penn Dot is the freaking worst! You should have just legally changed your middle name. That would be easier since your middle name rarely gets put on things. Get a new magazine subscription with the full name on it, that'll be at least one piece of mail. Have the other piece of mail be a work related document, like request your HR department to send a paystub to your house. BOOM 2 piece of mail.

100yroldblinddog · July 2016

MrsPeacock2016 said:

Penn Dot is the freaking worst! You should have just legally changed your middle name. That would be easier since your middle name rarely gets put on things. Get a new magazine subscription with the full name on it, that'll be at least one piece of mail. Have the other piece of mail be a work related document, like request your HR department to send a paystub to your house. BOOM 2 piece of mail.

If I only changed my middle name, my middle name and last name would've been the same. Also, PennDOT will only accept two of the following: voter registration, selective service card, baptism record, bank statement, W2 form (apparently a pay stub won't work?) or passport with my new name exactly as I'd like the DMV to put it, which is surprisingly more difficult to get than expected but I'm working on it. Believe me, I've tried to bargain with them. Hopefully I'll have what I need by the end of the week!

charlottesmom0626 · July 2016

AddieCake said:

charlottesmom0626 said:

This is weird; I'm in PA and walked in with my SSC and they changed it. Didn't ask for my marriage license or any other proof.

Did you change your middle name, too?

sorry I missed this earlier! No I didn't, but they asked me if I wanted to while I was sitting there, which lead me to believe it wouldn't be so difficult..

[Deleted User] · July 2016

I live in PA too and I just filed for my name change. The social security office should have told you that if you have a preexisting middle name, you need to go to orphans court to change it legally.

What you should do if you haven't already is take the new last name and go to court to legally change your middle name to your maiden name.

For example, if your name before marriage was Tracy Anabelle Williams and you want to be Tracy Williams Scott (new last name), you need to go to orphans court to change your middle name.

I hope this helps!

Alaska_RockGirl · August 2016

Sorry you're going through all this trouble, OP. Hope things start falling into place for you and the process becomes less painful! I've been thinking about name change or not for the last few months. Thanks for sharing and reinforcing my mostly committed decision to not change my name upon marriage.

100yroldblinddog · August 2016

OP update: my driver's license became official in mid-July, after providing the DMV with my marriage certificate, SS card, new (expensive, expedited) passport, and revised voter registration card. I felt vindicated until I had to sign my new name for my license and didn't know how to do it smoothly because I'd never practiced, haha.

@MrsPeacock2016 the orphan's court has no authority higher than the social security office. My name change was legal and official as soon as I got my new SS card. Getting in contact with the orphan's court thereafter was not a necessary step at all. I just had to get a few other places onboard with my new name.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

@100yroldblinddog Nice! That was weird you even had that problem in general, my change was smooth sailing.

100yroldblinddog · August 2016

MrsPeacock2016 said:

@100yroldblinddog Nice! That was weird you even had that problem in general, my change was smooth sailing.

Super weird, amirite?

Since I can't seem to shake it off (heh), please elaborate how you were able to change your middle and last name in PA within weeks of your wedding without any of the mandatory requirements listed on the DL-80, all despite your more pressing (now resolved!) legal issues and gallbladder surgery. I must be a real stupid asshole.

[Deleted User] · August 2016

@100yroldblinddog Where is the hostility? I mean, your words not mine. I didn't get my middle name changed, I just dropped my last name and that was the end of it. I was simply saying what the lady at the SSO office told me when I put the application in for the name change. I got married on the 10th, I sent my marriage license out on the 11th (self uniting so I didn't have to wait for an officiant to send it), I got it back the 20th, I went to the social security office on the 25th. I got my SS Card in the mail on the second and I went to penndot and had zero issues. Whoever rejected your bank statements were wrong because on DL-80 it's listed as acceptable proof. Also, gallbladder surgery only takes a week to recover from. Juuuuuuuuust sayin!

Name change nonsense

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