• Images
  • Text
  • Find a Couple + Registry
GO
Music

Musicians with no demos?

My FI has a friend who's a musician, and we met with her to help figure out how to find musicians for our ceremony, as well as what type of instruments we want. She was really very helpful. We made a decision on instrument type, and she emailed us to say that she's secured them. We were a bit taken aback since this happened without our agreement (though we trust her) and asked for the musicians' names and if they had demos. She replied "I don't want to seem impolite but it's an unusual request to ask for a demo from a professional musician.  I can assure you they're both very accomplished people, though.  Most of us just don't use demos - it's typically word of mouth - so I don't know if either one of them would even be able to provide that for you. "  :/  

Is this a thing? In planning the wedding, I've had to talk with people from various fields and everyone has some way to show you what they can do (heck, even our florist sent me a style board with the proposal). Are we odd for wanting to know what they sound like before hiring them?

Re: Musicians with no demos?

  • AddieCakeAddieCake Beyond the Wall member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited August 2016
    No, I don't think it's odd to want to hear them. Can you at least get reassurance that they have performed events before? We hadn't heard our musicians before, either, but they had done plenty of weddings, so we were not concerned.
    What did you think would happen if you walked up to a group of internet strangers and told them to get shoehorned by their lady doc?~StageManager14
    image
    OurWildKingdomcharlotte989875ernursej
  • donethatdonethat member
    Knottie Warrior 500 Comments 100 Love Its First Answer
    edited August 2016
    My FI has a friend who's a musician, and we met with her to help figure out how to find musicians for our ceremony, as well as what type of instruments we want. She was really very helpful. We made a decision on instrument type, and she emailed us to say that she's secured them. We were a bit taken aback since this happened without our agreement (though we trust her) and asked for the musicians' names and if they had demos. She replied "I don't want to seem impolite but it's an unusual request to ask for a demo from a professional musician.  I can assure you they're both very accomplished people, though.  Most of us just don't use demos - it's typically word of mouth - so I don't know if either one of them would even be able to provide that for you. "  :/  

    Is this a thing? In planning the wedding, I've had to talk with people from various fields and everyone has some way to show you what they can do (heck, even our florist sent me a style board with the proposal). Are we odd for wanting to know what they sound like before hiring them?
    Your frowny/concerned face icon is because of the red flags you saw.  You want to believe and trust your FI's friend, but ....

    1)  she secured services without your final input or OK

    2)  "I don't want to seem impolite" is (in my opinionated opinion) the exact same amount of rudeness as, "I don't want to offend you but"  or  "nothing personal, but",   I also don't like that level of unhelpful superior passive aggressive tone/phrase.

    3)  It is NOT unusual at all to either plan to see a musician in person, or ask for a demo.  NOT AT ALL.  Go online and google bands, musicians, talent agencies, booking services, wedding musicians, etc... and tons of agencies and individuals will pop up with links to samples of short (or long) demos

    4)  Just because her friends are all-so-hip that they only use word of mouth, I'm sure at lest one of them has a phone with a video option. It's not a big deal to record a short demo. So, yes, they should be "able to provide that"   #customerservice

    5)  If she were to say "listen, these guys are sooooo good, but they are just starting out so don't have any demos.  Trust me.  You'll LOVE them"  that would probably set your mind at ease.  Instead, she is trying to make YOU seem unreasonable.  #notcool

    With all that ^, I have fingers crossed that trusted friend is right, and she's just not my (or your) style of a communicator, but, she does know good and reliable music within your preferences.  That's what I hope!  

    GL


    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomScottishSarah
  • I kind of understand not having a demo tape, I am picturing an actual tape. But no youtube video? No sound cloud recording? Facebook page? Anything?
    OurWildKingdom
  • I'd think at the very least I'd want to see reviews, client testimonials, etc. If her point is that you should assume because they're professionals, they're good enough, that's one thing. But there's more to playing your wedding than the music. Do they show up on time, sober, dress appropriately, act appropriately, etc? I'd want to know all of those things before I hired them.
    Daisypath Anniversary tickers
    OurWildKingdom
  • It is not unreasonable to want to hear them before booking. I would also want reference checks. They may sound great but if you heard from another bride that they showed up drunk and late ... you may not want to go with them.
    OurWildKingdom
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards