Etiquette
Knottie1472228451
member
Wedding invitation Do's & Dont's...why are there Dont's?
in Etiquette
I am making my Wedding Invites and I'm getting really tired of the DO's & Don'ts. I dont understnad who such rules can apply this day in age. SO my question, qhy can't i put the registry info on the invite. the way i am designing them the info will be on the back with the Venue restrictions and the hotel info. SO i'm not seeing why at all it is a big deal to put the registry info there also.
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Re: Wedding invitation Do's & Dont's...why are there Dont's?
like i said, tired of the do and donts. the more little things you include in the invite the more they will get lost/tossed/ignored. PLus what it the difference if its on the invite or on a separte card included on the invite? it came withe the invitation, why not just be on it?
I'm also not doing a website.....
Do's and Don'ts aren't here to annoy you, they are used so that you don't offend your guests and you provide them with the information they need about the event you are throwing.
I assume you have a wedding website? You can use that for venue info if you don't want to print or pay for extra info cards. Good, old fashioned word of mouth usually works a treat too.
eta: Just read your response. Get a wedding website if you are so concerned about getting this vital information to your guests.
word of mouth, yeah. I'm thinking that the easier the info is to obtain the more people will retain the info provided. I have received several invites with registry/venue restrictions/etc on it and never once did i find it rude at all. I'm simply thankful the bride/grooom didnt assume i had the time to hunt someone down to ge the info. I'm
not a facebook person, i dont tweet or instagram. I am on a pc all day and i honestly dont know y i asked here. If you get offended by basic needed info, you should maybe not have been invited. Plain n simple.
Why shouldn't you include the registry info? Because polite adults do not ask for gifts for themselves. Guests aren't obligated to give you a gift, although many will without you prodding them.
The wedding invitation is a simple piece of paper that includes the name of the host, the name of the couple, the date and location of the ceremony and reception. If your reception and ceremony are at the same location - simply add the line 'Reception to follow.' at the bottom of the invitation. The only other insert that you might need is an RSVP card for the guest to return to you.
Check out the 'Invites and Paper' board for help with wording.
This is what happens, look Knottie# is getting married at this place, oh look, Google is my friend. JFC, your invitees are adults, let them adult. Every family has a gossip, make sure they know the pertinent information. If this is too much work for you, don't have guests, elope and save yourself the hassle.
What venue restrictions do you have that need to go in/on the invite? The only thing I can think of is if there are attire requirements (i.e. jacket and tie, covered shoulders) and from my understanding that is acceptable to include.
Why did you even post your question if your mind is made up?
We are giving you the knowledge of what the right thing is. You don't have to do the right thing but what the right thing may be is a fact.
As to the bolded, we are giving you tools to treat people well. If that is your attitude towards your guests, it's pretty gross.
What is acceptable or not isn't just your opinion in the end. It's also the opinion of the receiver of the invite. Sure, your friends might go "oh how helpful" but others might go "wow, what jerks, they think they're owed gifts!" Including your registry info in your invite suite conveys information that is open to interpretation by the person who receives the invite. It doesn't matter what you intend to communicate, it matters how that information is received, and you can't know who will receive that information kindly or who will think it's rude, so it's best to just leave it off all together than risk making yourself look like a snooty gift grabby jerk (which I know is NOT your intention...)
Personally, I give 0 shits about your plans or what goes on your invites, because I'm not receiving one. Your aunt Betty, however, might not feel the same way and most folks' advice here is to help you ensure you communicate with your guests properly, clearly and in a manner that cannot be taken impolitely or offensively.
My example- labeling social units by name and properly according to social or professional status (i.e. "Dr"). I was getting married a month after this couple, yet the couple labeled the enveloped "FH and Guest." Guest? I mean, sure they're not my friends, and maybe they put Guest indicating that if I couldn't come, he could bring someone else. But don't I deserve to be invited with my future husband? It diminishes me as an important person in his life. I was peeved but it's not a relationship-ending move by any means.
I'll give you that there are things that are incredibly formal that don't necessarily offend, but are definitely proper. Those are harder to keep track of. Really nobody's going to get offended by handwriting versus printed labels, although handwriting is certainly proper.
You sound like you need a drink. Plus, I found the Crain's website to be an excellent reference for formality, to hell with what 9 other people in your life say.
And if you don't give a shit about what is acceptable, why are you posting here?
all this for "right/wrong" over a wedding invite. My gosh, you ladies should for run president. Mary poppy is right, i shouldnt have posted because i am honesty tired of everyone thinking that the bride shouldnt have an opinion or a suggestion or even an out of the box thought. Knot ladies, stand true to your "facts". weddings are about the moment betweeen 2 people and honestly, all this crap is reason why younger generations elope.....because if they even try to do domething out of the norm......you offend people.
Problem solved.
Several posters have actually told you why it isn't polite. Whether you include registry information with or without the specific intention of asking for gifts, including that information is rude. It is against etiquette. And yes, it IS actually asking for gifts. Because it provides guests with information to a registry YOU created with items YOU chose. The moment you include registry information on an invitation to any kind of event, it becomes not just a wedding, or a party, but a gift-giving event.
Gifts are optional. Guests can choose whether to Google your names (and yes, your registry information will in all likelihood show up on a Google search) and find your registry on their own, gift you something off-registry, or gift you cash.
Putting registry information on a formal invitation implies that you are expecting gifts, whether you seem to think that or not. It's not for ease of access. It's greed. Just because you have received invitations with registry information does not mean that this acceptable etiquette to follow, or that your opinion is universally held.
If people are offended by you, maybe it's something else you're doing...
And obviously you can do whatever you want, but be fully aware that some people will side eye you or think less of you for it. And yes, you are right, that weddings bring out the worst in people. Based on your posts, your wedding is bringing out the worst in you since you only seem to care what YOU think is best, not the vast majority of people. Instead of sounding laid back and casual (I think that's what you were going for), you sound stuck up (at basic common manners), entitled (thinking everything is about you), and ignorant (of other people's feelings).
not insulted or hot and bothered. thanx for info nd the judgement on my character based on one post. excellent feed back.