Help with groomsmen attire!

Re: Help with groomsmen attire!

• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  August 2016

  Your father does not have to match the groomsmen. All the colors except the burgundy are neutrals so it really isn't that big of a deal. If you want to do black shoes/belt instead of brown fine. If not, brown will look fine too. What time of day is your wedding. Technically a tux isn't suppose to be worn until after 6 but that rule is broken all the time. Personally, I think a suit that the GMs can wear again would be best. You have asked them for their budgets, right?

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• cowgirl8238 member

  

  August 2016

  ILoveBeachMusic said:

  Your father does not have to match the groomsmen. All the colors except the burgundy are neutrals so it really isn't that big of a deal. If you want to do black shoes/belt instead of brown fine. If not, brown will look fine too. What time of day is your wedding. Technically a tux isn't suppose to be worn until after 6 but that rule is broken all the time. Personally, I think a suit that the GMs can wear again would be best. You have asked them for their budgets, right?

  
  All of this!!!

  Does you FI have any ideas...he is really the one who should be determining this, asking them for their budgets (privately and separately) and has the ultimate say.

  With that in mind I think that Black is the easiest suit color (most common in my circle of friends) and then Navy to find and use.  I'm not a huge tux fan in general and many box stores have suits you can buy (if they guys don't already own one) for less than a tux rental around my area.

  Remember you can tie everyone together using the bouquets and boutonnieres and ties as well.  (Provided by you guys not as a gift of course!)

  Some ideas.

  Guys in a "Mid to dark gray"

  

  Guys in black suits...

  

  and guys in navy suits with brown and black shoes (Gasp the horrors of not perfectly matched shoes!)...

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2016 edited August 2016

  The etiquette rule is as follows:
  1.  Tuxedos are only worn for evening events.  Tuxedos are black.  They are usually rented.
  2.  The groomsmen match the groom in the level of formality, so if the groom wears a tuxedo, so do the groomsmen.
  3.  Suits can be blue, grey, charcoal, black.  They are worn any time of day and for any weddings, including formal ones.  If a groomsman needs to buy a suit, it will be useful for future occasions. (Try Kohls, Penneys, or Mens Wearhouse.)  The suits do not need to match in color or cut.
  

  

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• Knottie1456075002 member

  

  August 2016

  Thank you guys so much!!! I did not realize that a tux should only be past 6...no one has told me that! The wedding will be at 4. 
  
  I've thought about letting the guys buy a suit so that they can keep it. And I love those picture ideas. My mother in law hates the idea of brown shoes, so I think she would hate the idea even more of mismatched shoes lol. 
  
  And my mom seems adamant to put my dad in a tux, but would that be odd if he wore a tux when it's an earlier wedding? 

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• CMGragain member

  

  August 2016 edited August 2016

  In the old days, dress shoes were always black.  Your FMIL probably learned that.  Brown shoes are not worn with tuxedos.
  Here is a great website that explains men's dress codes.  You can show it to your Mom, if it helps.  http://www.blacktieguide.com/Etiquette/Etiquette_Intro.htm  This is a huge website with tons of information.  Be sure and check out the "Weddings" section.
  
  Are tuxedos ever worn in the daytime?  Unfortunately, yes, but it isn't really correct.
  
  The main physical difference between a tuxedo and a black suit is that tuxedos have satin lapels on the jacket and a satin stripe down the side of the pants.  The look is quite similar.  When I posted a photo of my daughter's daytime wedding a few years ago, I received several PMs from brides who wanted to know where they got the "tuxedos".  They weren't tuxedos - just two piece black suits.
  
  Edit:  I am having trouble getting this website to come up from my post.  Try Googling "black tie guide" if you have the same trouble.
  
  

  

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• ernursej member

  

  August 2016

  OP - The groom can wear anything he wants. It doesn't matter if it is not in the best of etiquette to wear a tuxedo before 6pm. If he wants to wear one, he can wear one. The groomsmen can match or they can be different. Generally, if a tux is worn by the groom, the groomsmen are also in tuxes. If the groom wears a suit, the groomsmen will also wear a suit.

  Consider being flexible with colours or shades of colour. Many men will own a black or navy suit. Suits are expensive and a better fitting suit will always be something that a person owns (over a rental).

  People that are comfortable will always look better in photographs. Your groom should be asking the guys for their budget (privately) and then making decisions based on that.

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• dyerwise member

  

  August 2016

  I can't help myself....
  
  
  
  

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• mollybarker11 member

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).
  
  
  Anyway, I do not think black, brown, navy, burgundy, and champagne would look weird in the photos. Those are all nice colours, none of them clash to my eye.
  
  Just a reminder that you do not choose your father's attire. And you & your fiancé must select the groomsmen's attire based on the lowest budget provided when you ask them. Unless you're paying for it yourselves.

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• CMGragain member

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  mollybarker11 said:

  I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).
  
  
  Anyway, I do not think black, brown, navy, burgundy, and champagne would look weird in the photos. Those are all nice colours, none of them clash to my eye.
  
  Just a reminder that you do not choose your father's attire. And you & your fiancé must select the groomsmen's attire based on the lowest budget provided when you ask them. Unless you're paying for it yourselves.

  
  Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.  Tuxedos have only been acceptable at weddings since the 1960s.  Black tie was considered too informal for a wedding before that time.
  
  The bride's father does whose his own attire.  However, he should be aware if he will be the only man present in a tuxedo.  This might make him feel awkward.
  
  If a groomsman does not own a two piece suit, he should!  They are availble for less than the rental of a tuxedo in stores like Kohl's, Penneys, even Men's Wearhouse.
  

  

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• mollybarker11 member

  

  September 2016

  CMGragain said:

  mollybarker11 said:

  I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).

  Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.
  

  Is there no rule about bridesmaids matching the bride in formality? Genuine question - I've never seen anyone comment on the cocktail dress/gown mismatch but I've seen the suit/tux mismatch discouraged here & on other sites and always found it odd.
  

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• CMGragain member

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  mollybarker11 said:

  CMGragain said:

  mollybarker11 said:

  I question the idea of the groomsmen matching the groom in formality. I agree it would be appropriate, but we often see brides in formal gowns (the tuxedo's equivalent) with her bridesmaids in cocktail dresses (the suit's equivalent).

  Just because you see it done does not make it proper.  This rule of groomsmen matching in formality has been in place for two hundred years.
  

  Is there no rule about bridesmaids matching the bride in formality? Genuine question - I've never seen anyone comment on the cocktail dress/gown mismatch but I've seen the suit/tux mismatch discouraged here & on other sites and always found it odd.
  

  There used to be, but it pretty much ended in the 1970s.  Less formal wedding dresses were floor length muslin and venise lace - the hippie movement.  Tuxedos were pastel colored polyester.  Not the greatest moment in fashion.
  Only recently have shorter wedding dresses become popular again.  Happy to see this trend towards less formal weddings.
  
  Generally, the bride's dress sets the level of formality for both the bridesmaids and the groom and groomsmen, but I have seen formal strapless ballgowns on the bride with groom and groomsmen dressed in vests without jackets.  (Ugh!)  It is done, but that doesn't make it proper.
  
  Hey, I've been watching Downton Abbey reruns all weekend!
  

  

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• glasgowtolondon member

  

  September 2016

  It is proper to wear whatever you want to your wedding. Same goes with the wedding party. So long as they are on board and comfortable with the choice, go nuts. This has zero impact on your guests. 
  
  The only thing I'd say is give the guys some flexibility - e.g general direction of 'navy suit, brown shoes'(or whatever you go for) so that they can buy or rent as suits their individual circumstances best. They don't have to have the exact same suit.

               

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