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Wedding Woes

Warning: This one discusses child injury

Dear Prudence,

I was driving and hit a 5-year-old child. I was not charged, as there was no speed or alcohol involved—he ran out onto the road while his mother was momentarily distracted. He was left with severe and permanent disabilities. I was a couple of days away from starting a new job but couldn’t work because I was in so much shock. I get panic attacks at the thought of driving and it’s difficult to even be around children. I was diagnosed with PTSD and I know I need help, but I have no insurance and can’t afford it. I was told I need to sue the parents of the child to get a payout from their insurance which would then pay for my treatment. On one hand, I desperately want some kind of psychological treatment. But the thought of suing the parents at the worst time of their life—that seems like pure evil. What would you do in my situation?

—Should I Sue?
«1

Re: Warning: This one discusses child injury

  • Is there no other ways? I wouldn't sue. Parents are likely having enough issues with their child and probably had the option to sue LW also {I'm not sure about the legal system}

    Yes, LW needs help but is there no free options?
  • Ouch.

    I understand how this is difficult for the LW and (s)he has some of her own health issues that need attention, but I couldn't do it.
  • Is there no other ways? I wouldn't sue. Parents are likely having enough issues with their child and probably had the option to sue LW also {I'm not sure about the legal system}

    Yes, LW needs help but is there no free options?
    LW didn't break any laws, though. The child ran out into the street and the accident was unavoidable (I'm assuming since she didn't get charged). Sadly, the child was at fault for her injuries. However, when I was involved in an accident with a drunk driver and had daily panic attacks on the way to work my attorney told me that it's extremely difficult to get a jury to agree to pay for mental anguish because the other team will just argue that the mental issues existed prior to the accident. 
  • Won't her Auto insurance cover it? If she was driving, she had to have insurance.
  • mrsconn23mrsconn23 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    edited September 2016
    There was a case in the last year where an aunt sued her nephew because he jumped on her and she fell and injured herself.  It was a big news story.  But it turned out that basically, the insurance company made her sue and she didn't really want to.  People were so harsh on that poor lady.  It's really about suing the insurance company, but still...it's an awful position to be in.   
  • Won't her Auto insurance cover it? If she was driving, she had to have insurance.
    Your auto insurance only covers your property not your bodily injury unless you have medical payments on the policy and even then, the amount is usually pretty low. 
  • That is really terrible all around.  LW is lucky the parents didn't sue.  I also think if she sued the child's parents, they would file a counter-suit against LW.

    If LW cannot afford any treatment, s/he should begin to look into free treatment.  I know there are many programs available to veterans with PTSD, those non-profits may also assist non-veterans too.  One non-profit doing such work was featured on HONY recently.  I think any non-profit that has a person with a diagnosed disorder from a tragedy asking for assistance would rarely turn the person down.

    Another avenue would be to reach out to a local assemblyperson or state senator.  They have people who are paid to assist their constituents with problems.  S/he should call their office and ask to see what available programs may be available to help them.

  • That is really terrible all around.  LW is lucky the parents didn't sue.  I also think if she sued the child's parents, they would file a counter-suit against LW.

    If LW cannot afford any treatment, s/he should begin to look into free treatment.  I know there are many programs available to veterans with PTSD, those non-profits may also assist non-veterans too.  One non-profit doing such work was featured on HONY recently.  I think any non-profit that has a person with a diagnosed disorder from a tragedy asking for assistance would rarely turn the person down.

    Another avenue would be to reach out to a local assemblyperson or state senator.  They have people who are paid to assist their constituents with problems.  S/he should call their office and ask to see what available programs may be available to help them.

    What reason would the parents have to sue, though? Their child ran out into the road and the driver was not charged.
  • Won't her Auto insurance cover it? If she was driving, she had to have insurance.
    Your auto insurance only covers your property not your bodily injury unless you have medical payments on the policy and even then, the amount is usually pretty low. 
    That's interesting. And a good point brought up by Trixie. Wonder if it varies by insurance company (or country).

    In the 2 provinces I've lived in Canada, if you get injured as the result of a car accident, and you go see your physiotherapist or chiro, the insurance company automatically covers your initial assessment, then they decide if they will cover you for further treatments, and how many. People usually are covered for some amount of treatment, it varies based on the therapist's report of the type and severity of injury.

    LW should at least contact her insurance company and ask- but maybe they're telling her she has to sue the parents.
  • Gods that is terrible. 

    Where does LW get their insurance? Mental and behavioral health services are now deemed to be essential health benefits and can't be denied as a pre-existing condition any longer. If LW made the switch to Obamacare (it's almost open enrollment time) they would get coverage, and this would be faster than suing the distraught parents. 
  • That is really terrible all around.  LW is lucky the parents didn't sue.  I also think if she sued the child's parents, they would file a counter-suit against LW.

    If LW cannot afford any treatment, s/he should begin to look into free treatment.  I know there are many programs available to veterans with PTSD, those non-profits may also assist non-veterans too.  One non-profit doing such work was featured on HONY recently.  I think any non-profit that has a person with a diagnosed disorder from a tragedy asking for assistance would rarely turn the person down.

    Another avenue would be to reach out to a local assemblyperson or state senator.  They have people who are paid to assist their constituents with problems.  S/he should call their office and ask to see what available programs may be available to help them.

    What reason would the parents have to sue, though? Their child ran out into the road and the driver was not charged.


    Doesn't matter what reason, people can file lawsuits for anything.  Doesn't mean the parents would win, just means they can file a lawsuit. 

    Parents could file a lawsuit to get LW's insurance to cover some or all of the child's medical bills.  The lawsuit would still get filed against LW, even thought the insurance company may handle the entire thing.

  • Won't her Auto insurance cover it? If she was driving, she had to have insurance.
    Your auto insurance only covers your property not your bodily injury unless you have medical payments on the policy and even then, the amount is usually pretty low. 
    It's different up here then. If you have injuries sustained in a car crash, physical, mental, etc. the insurance company (eventually) pays out for it. 
  • edited September 2016
    SP29 said:
    That's interesting. And a good point brought up by Trixie. Wonder if it varies by insurance company (or country).

    In the 2 provinces I've lived in Canada, if you get injured as the result of a car accident, and you go see your physiotherapist or chiro, the insurance company automatically covers your initial assessment, then they decide if they will cover you for further treatments, and how many. People usually are covered for some amount of treatment, it varies based on the therapist's report of the type and severity of injury.

    LW should at least contact her insurance company and ask- but maybe they're telling her she has to sue the parents.
    I was an insurance agent in Oklahoma for several years so I am speaking of Oklahoma insurance law only. I am not sure about other states, but I would imagine it's fairly similar.

    Our policies are liability which covers bodily injury and property damage to the other person only if I am at fault (liability is considered compulsory in Oklahoma but we have one of the highest rates of uninsured motorists in the country at 25%). Then, if your vehicle is leased or financed (of you want it) you can have comprehensive and collision. Comprehensive covers things like theft, fire, hail, or animals and collision covers collision. Then, you can add other things like medical payments, rental, and road service. Medical payments is usually a lump sum of between $1,000-$10,000 and is intended to basically cover OOP expenses for your health insurance. 

    I was hit by a drunk driver in 2013. She then walked away from the scene of the accident. Had she not had insurance, my insurance would have paid for my vehicle under collision (subject to my deductible), my rental car, and I would have gotten $1,000 from my medical payments. ETA - My injuries would have been paid out of my uninsured/underinsured motorist coverage. 

    I looked a little more and I do believe that in all states in the US, compulsory liability insurance only covers the other driver and property.
  • Is there no other ways? I wouldn't sue. Parents are likely having enough issues with their child and probably had the option to sue LW also {I'm not sure about the legal system}

    Yes, LW needs help but is there no free options?
    LW didn't break any laws, though. The child ran out into the street and the accident was unavoidable (I'm assuming since she didn't get charged). Sadly, the child was at fault for her injuries. However, when I was involved in an accident with a drunk driver and had daily panic attacks on the way to work my attorney told me that it's extremely difficult to get a jury to agree to pay for mental anguish because the other team will just argue that the mental issues existed prior to the accident. 
    Parents could claim distracted driving. I've heard of it happening.
  • Parents could claim distracted driving. I've heard of it happening.
    True, but that's a ticketable offense.
  • Parents could claim distracted driving. I've heard of it happening.
    True, but that's a ticketable offense.
    Oh here it's heavier depending on the offense. They've been really cracking down on distracted driving.
  • Oh here it's heavier depending on the offense. They've been really cracking down on distracted driving.
    We just passed a law last year banning the use of cell phones while driving. Texting (facebooking, instragramming, snapchatting, etc) and driving has become a big problem. If I'm not mistaken, if you're in an accident that appears to be your fault, the responding officer may look at your phone to see what you were doing at the time. 
  • Parents could claim distracted driving. I've heard of it happening.
    True, but that's a ticketable offense.


    Sometimes tickets are only issued if a police officer witnesses it or a witness at the scene can confirm that though.

    If the only people at the scene, were the LW, the mother and the child.  The mother was already distracted and LW could have been looking down at her radio or out the side of her window opposite where the child was.  So there would be no witness to the distracted driving.

    Just because something is ticketable, doesn't mean its always ticketed.

  • Parents could claim distracted driving. I've heard of it happening.
    True, but that's a ticketable offense.
    Up here they can impound your car depending on whether it's your first offense or not. 

    Also, up here you cannot get your license if you do not have insurance. If you do not have insurance and you are caught driving without your sticker, you have 7 days to present valid insurance or you lose your license. 

  • Sometimes tickets are only issued if a police officer witnesses it or a witness at the scene can confirm that though.

    If the only people at the scene, were the LW, the mother and the child.  The mother was already distracted and LW could have been looking down at her radio or out the side of her window opposite where the child was.  So there would be no witness to the distracted driving.

    Just because something is ticketable, doesn't mean its always ticketed.

    Also true. 
  • Oh here it's heavier depending on the offense. They've been really cracking down on distracted driving.
    We just passed a law last year banning the use of cell phones while driving. Texting (facebooking, instragramming, snapchatting, etc) and driving has become a big problem. If I'm not mistaken, if you're in an accident that appears to be your fault, the responding officer may look at your phone to see what you were doing at the time. 
    Same as here but they're just generalizing it as distracted driving by doing anything {makeup, drinking coffee, etc}
    Wasn't in my city, but someone was distracted and hit someone. It was also a ticketable offense, but the driver got sued. I'm not sure how the case went.

  • Just because she wasn't ticketed doesn't mean they can't sue in civil court.  Most states have a statue of limitations that is often years out.  So she could find herself getting sued herself in the future.

    I feel bad for her, but I don't think I would sue the family.  Mostly because they can counter-sue and I might end up in a worse position than I'm at right now.   If they do sue me in the future then I might counter sue.

    I would be researching free options if I was the LW.   






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  • I'd be with LW in that just "feels" like pure evil to sue for something like that after that situation. 

    There are other options...  Private clinician and OOP - FAR cheaper than any place that accepts insurance!  Also more effective because they often get business from referrals and know the client paying OOP is motivated to change so usually do far more effective/efficient work.  Most of my friends/colleagues on that side of the industry (from Psychs to Hypnotherapists/NLPers to the Moonwalkers and such) would rather operate sans insurance whenever humanly possible as it avoids a huge overhead...

  • MesmrEwe said:

    I'd be with LW in that just "feels" like pure evil to sue for something like that after that situation. 

    There are other options...  Private clinician and OOP - FAR cheaper than any place that accepts insurance!  Also more effective because they often get business from referrals and know the client paying OOP is motivated to change so usually do far more effective/efficient work.  Most of my friends/colleagues on that side of the industry (from Psychs to Hypnotherapists/NLPers to the Moonwalkers and such) would rather operate sans insurance whenever humanly possible as it avoids a huge overhead...

    I agree with you on that. I wouldn't want to sue either, although I understand why she feels the need to (I also think it's really her attorney pushing her to do it). I'd guess that if she can't afford health insurance, she should qualify for free or almost free counseling from a provider that works on a sliding scale.
  • SP29 said:
    Won't her Auto insurance cover it? If she was driving, she had to have insurance.
    Your auto insurance only covers your property not your bodily injury unless you have medical payments on the policy and even then, the amount is usually pretty low. 
    That's interesting. And a good point brought up by Trixie. Wonder if it varies by insurance company (or country).

    In the 2 provinces I've lived in Canada, if you get injured as the result of a car accident, and you go see your physiotherapist or chiro, the insurance company automatically covers your initial assessment, then they decide if they will cover you for further treatments, and how many. People usually are covered for some amount of treatment, it varies based on the therapist's report of the type and severity of injury.

    LW should at least contact her insurance company and ask- but maybe they're telling her she has to sue the parents.
    When DS1 was in a car accident(passenger in a car), the driver's insurance paid for his hospital bills, glasses replacement and some other property replacement. They did this as part of the insurance. We didn't have to sue. We are in the US. I assumed all liability insurance would cover medical bills.
  • When DS1 was in a car accident(passenger in a car), the driver's insurance paid for his hospital bills, glasses replacement and some other property replacement. They did this as part of the insurance. We didn't have to sue. We are in the US. I assumed all liability insurance would cover medical bills.
    Who was at fault in the accident?
  • When DS1 was in a car accident(passenger in a car), the driver's insurance paid for his hospital bills, glasses replacement and some other property replacement. They did this as part of the insurance. We didn't have to sue. We are in the US. I assumed all liability insurance would cover medical bills.
    Who was at fault in the accident?
    The driver of the car my son was a passenger in.
  • The driver of the car my son was a passenger in.
    Since your son is not a member of his household, he was covered under the driver's bodily injury liability even though they were in the same car. If the other person had been at fault, their insurance would have paid. If you caused the accident which injured your son, your insurance would not pay unless you had the medical payments endorsement.
  • In Michigan, you have to provide proof of health insurance.  Without it, your rate increases and I believe bodily damage can be added to the policy.  I love @OliveOilsMom's idea of calling the local representatives office,  I have never thought of that!

    My family has an ongoing drama similar to what @mrsconn23 described.  My young cousin was bit by a dog on my Uncle's property.  In addition to stitches, she's suffering from PTSD.  She went non verbal for a bit, is terrified of all dogs, and had some other behavioral issues.  Because the diagnosis is traced back to the dog bite, her insurance won't cover further treatment and is requiring her parents to sue my Uncle so his property insurance does instead.  Well, now Uncle thinks they're being greedy and blah blah blah.  Suing can get ugly and I'd avoid it by any means necessary.
    image
  • This is one of my worst nightmares.  I regularly drive in a heavy urban/tourist area.  It's bad enough when drivers pay no attention to what they are doing, but pedestrians and bicyclists do that also.  I cannot even tell you how many "near misses" I have had because someone is glued to their cell phone and walked right into oncoming traffic.  I'm a little paranoid about it.  I almost feel like it is more a case of "when" not "if".

    There is one intersection I make a left turn at.  Except there is a giant 7' tall bush at the end of that median, which blocks my view if someone happens to be standing there.  For the record, it's a bit of a weird spot and there are rarely pedestrians.  My light was green and I was jetting through at 35 MPH (the speed limit).  When, out of nowhere, a 7-8 year old child was right in front of my car, a scant 2' in front of me.  It was almost like out of a cartoon.  I see just an arm from the median area grab his arm and yank him back, seconds before I would have hit that child.  I mean, it just took me 20x longer to write this out than the whole incident.  I didn't even have time to put the brake on and really didn't grasp what had almost just happened until after the fact.

    Another time, though a more residential area, I saw what I thought was a "load of laundry" fall out of the backseat of a car right in front of mine.  I wasn't too worried about, it's just soft clothes but, since I there was room in the lane next to me, I moved over.  No sense dirtying up/ruining someone's clothes if I can avoid it.  Except as I drove past and got a closer look at the "laundry".  It wasn't laundry at all!!!  A CHILD had fallen out of the backseat.  Jesus!!!!  And I would have run right over them if there had happened to be a car in the lane next to me.

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