Eloped, now planning reception

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

My husband and I eloped last May (economy) and are planning a picnic reception for this coming May. I am currently writing the invitation and coming across some blocks as I am trying to keep it formal. This will be our wedding and not just an anniversary party. I want to really get across that this is our actual wedding and can't seem to find the right words. Any suggestions?

The reception itself will be relatively informal. It's going to be a picnic wedding. But we are doing an entrance with bridesmaids and ushers and are setting up the tables with centerpieces and favors, etc.

nda_roxybabe · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:12cfed2b-03ec-4d3a-b791-235cae6cc333">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Well we won't actually be doing a "vow renewal" no speeches or anything. Everyone we are inviting knows our situation. I am just trying to figure out how to word the invitation.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]
Well, it wont be a "wedding" either. You're already married, you signed a marriage certificate did you not?

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

ok, wow. Didn't realize it was that serious

I guess I just have to find the fine line between formal event and what we invision.
And I guess I don't like the vow renewal because we aren't going to stand up in front of everyone and actually renew our vows.
We just thought it would be fun to make an entrance.

betrothed123 · February 2010

The reason you're having trouble figuring out how to word it is because your situation makes no sense. You are already married so you're not having a wedding. You're having one of the following:
1) Vow Renewal
2) Reception
3) Anniversary Party

Make a choice as to which of those you want to have and go from there.

Mrs.B6302007 · February 2010

Why not just make it an anniversary party?

draco sky · February 2010

Then why have a bridal party?

Mrs.B6302007 · February 2010

Keep the casual picnic dinner and send out an anniversary party invite. Try to keep it gift-free. (I say try becuase some people will probably want to bring a little something for your anniversary). Don't register and don't make any mention anything on the invite about no gifts. When people ask, tell them no thanks. The goal - keep the whole party non-wedding related since it's, well, not a wedding.

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

THanks for the um comments.
I feel that I have possibly offended the more traditional brides on the board.

I just figured someone else was in my situation.

And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.

redheadfsu · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]THanks for the um comments. I feel that I have possibly offended the more traditional brides on the board. I just figured someone else was in my situation. And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

You will probably also offend some of your friends & family. (They just might say it behind your back.) A fake wedding just seems very gift grabby.

nda_roxybabe · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]THanks for the um comments. I feel that I have possibly offended the more traditional brides on the board. I just figured someone else was in my situation. And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]
Its not just the traditional brides here. It's a general though. Why have a wedding when you're already married?

sarabellam · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE] And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

Being asked to buy a dress that I will never, ever wear again is not exactly my idea of fun.

NuggetBrain · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]THanks for the um comments. I feel that I have possibly offended the more traditional brides on the board. I just figured someone else was in my situation. <strong>And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.</strong>
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

Yeah, on the wedding day. Not so much a year later. Just call it an open house to celebrate your anniverary and call it a day. If you wanted to make an entrance and have a wedding party, you should have waited to get married until you could afford it.

betrothed123 · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]
But you are not a bride, and not having a ceremony. Therefore, you are not having a BRIDAL Party. A Bridal Party is defined as "Wedding ceremony participants, also referred to as the wedding party, or the bridal party, are the people that participate directly in the wedding ceremony itself." (<a href="http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=define%3A+bridal+party&aq=f&aqi=&oq">http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&source=hp&q=define%3A+bridal+party&aq=f&aqi=&oq</a>=)

draco sky · February 2010

It may be "fun" but will your friends really want to spend money on special dresses and suits just so they can be "announced" at a picnic?

And I am not traditional at all. I have no problems with vow renewals. Or receptions after the fact.

[Deleted User] · February 2010

It's cute that you think people won't think this is totally weird.

megk8oz · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:248fb2d3-5c6b-416e-9773-98f916ef0c1b">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]THanks for the um comments. I feel that I have possibly offended the more traditional brides on the board. I just figured someone else was in my situation. And why a bridal party? Why not? it's fun.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

DH and I got married after an 18-month engagement. During that entire time, I did not have health insurance, he did. A few times before we even got engaged, we actually debated JOP-ing it just so I'd have insurance. We always came back to the same conclusion: we knew we didn't get a "do-over" on the wedding, and we didn't want regrets.

The other ladies are right, this isn't about being a "traditional bride", this is about you already being married. You can call it a vow renewal, you can call it an anniversary party, but you don't get to call it a "wedding". Because it's not a wedding.

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

wow. Actually all my friends and family are totally into it. The girls love the little outfits they are going to wear (not expensive dresses) and the guys are wearing tuxedo tshirts.
My husband's family is not at all offended and think it's great.
And my family has been dead for years.

So while you guys may find this wierd, our friends and family think it's great. and I guess I shouldn't have bothered posting this since people are way way way too defensive.

banana468 · February 2010

If they think it's great, then fine. But a big entrance wouldn't work nor would a lot of the hoopla. Take some great photos and have an kicka$$ party.

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

p.s. this isn't at all about gifts. there is no registry or anything.

Just trying to make it nice and wow I am just shocked there is no one else in my situation.

nda_roxybabe · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:9220ee91-2769-4637-bd21-dd9005b598f1">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]wow. Actually all my friends and family are totally into it. The girls love the little outfits they are going to wear (not expensive dresses) and the guys are wearing tuxedo tshirts. My husband's family is not at all offended and think it's great. And my family has been dead for years. So while you guys may find this wierd, our friends and family think it's great. and I guess I shouldn't have bothered posting this since people are way way way too defensive.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]
Nope, not defensive.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

Uh, the point of having a bridal party is to have those people stand up for you at your ceremony. Your ceremony happened last year, so having a bridal party is ridiculous at this point.

It's a reception. You should word it as "blah blah invite you to a reception to celebrate the recent marriage of..." But really, at a year out, you'd be better off doing an anniversary party. It just makes more sense.

draco sky · February 2010

My only hang up is the bridal party. But you do what you want. And enjoy.

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

well i guess if the bridal party is ok with it, then it shouldn't matter.

wow, all this from trying to figure out how to write it...which my maid of honor just did for me.

MyNameIsNot · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:a5814f89-2f54-46cc-a85f-cfbab97171ab">Re: Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]well i guess if the bridal party is ok with it, then it shouldn't matter. Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

Good point. I mean, who cares if all your friends and family think you are a ridiculous AW.

scoetto · February 2010

Care to share what she wrote? I'm curious about the wording.

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

Thanks Lisa. And thanks to those that offered construction criticism on how to word the invitation.
Our family and friends know our situation and are happy to be celebrating a year later.
I will be using the word reception.
Again thanks to those who answered my actual question on how to word the invitation.

scoetto · February 2010

She said she was planning a wedding with no speeches. How do you find the wording for that?

mwhitson14 · February 2010

<p>I hate that there's not a two day waiting period anymore.

[QUOTE]no one was asked to express such negative opinions on planning a wedding reception not immediately right after the ceremony[/QUOTE]

Yeah, that's the beauty about message boards, we can say whatever we want. ::evil laugh::

[QUOTE]I think you girls should go back to planning your own weddings rather than sitting on a message board putting someone down and arguing semantics...[/QUOTE]

Um, hypocrite much? You're the one that took the time to first create an account on here, and then wrote a long finger-wagging post. And I'm at work with nothing to do for my wedding, but thanks for thinking you can order people around!

[QUOTE]And the funny thing is that some of you girls are already married and had your wedding receptions. What are you doing here then? [/QUOTE]

There's a post right below this one I suggest you go read. Thank God for the married ladies giving good advice. We're so overrun by dumb newbs that the awesome married ladies giving much better advice than SOME posters keep them in check.</p>

cristinacrisfield · February 2010

Ok to clear the air here. It really is a matter of semantics.
I was looking on how to correctly write an invitation for a reception to celebrate my marriage. When you do things that are not tradtional it's hard to get the right words out.
When I said speeches, I meant vows.

I was not a tradtional bride. My parents have been dead for years. When I husband and I got married, we told our friends and family that we would have a celebration the following year. Our friends expressed that they wanted to help give us the wedding we didn't get to have. So everyone is on board with having a party that will closely resemble the wedding we didn't get to have. I am lucky and blessed to have such friends and family. They don't care about what words and how things are done. Just that we are all together.
So in short, I guess I didn't even need to post on how to write the invitation. In fact come on out to celebrate with us, is going to work just fine.

scoetto · February 2010

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_chit-chat_eloped-now-planning-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:14Discussion:8882029b-9da6-4a0e-b83f-a032164a58cfPost:d3a30948-2c38-48d3-85a4-f55251d4ea36">Eloped, now planning reception</a>:
[QUOTE]This will be our wedding and not just an anniversary party. I want to really get across that this is our actual wedding and can't seem to find the right words. Any suggestions? The reception itself will be relatively informal. It's going to be a picnic wedding. But we are doing an entrance with bridesmaids and ushers and are setting up the tables with centerpieces and favors, etc.
Posted by cristinacrisfield[/QUOTE]

I think if you would have said you were just planning a reception instead of "our actual wedding" you would have gotten more of the responses you were looking for. Having centerpieces, favors, etc at a reception is great. And having it after the fact is fine too. But calling it a wedding doesn't fly. Becasue it's not. And that's where other posters had problems.

mwhitson14 · February 2010

It's called sarcasm.

Um, did you miss the part where 49 are attending? Comprehension fail. And I count kids, so basically it's a family that lives 10 hrs away with 5 kids, so there's seven, and the other 4 is a single mom with 3 kids.

But I'm not really sure why I'm explaining myself to you.

And if you're engaged, how about you get off and plan your own wedding?

Eloped, now planning reception

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