Speaking of honourifics...

Re: Speaking of honourifics...

• crowsgirl15 member

  

  September 2016

  It's weird to me that she thinks she has that much say in her honourific. I mean, she can try and spread the word, I guess, but it's not like she's going to be writing "Miss Jane Smith"...it's going to be on things that are addressed TO her, and most people aren't going to get the memo.
  
  It doesn't inherently bother me that she wants to do it, though strange...I just wonder how on Earth she's going to try to enforce that?

  
  
  

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2016

  I agree. It's just seems....weird....and horribly confusing. I don't understand the point. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  
  

  "I’m thinking of keeping Miss, regardless of it’s implication that I am unmarried, as I feel that it has a nicer ring to it. If people want to assume that I am not married I couldn’t really give a toss, it doesn’t affect me in any way shape or form. I also don’t think I’d be offended if people assumed my title was Ms or Mrs, as that is definitely the norm. Just wanted to see if there were any bees who went this route? Probably a long shot, doesn’t seem like it even crosses most women’s minds!

  Haven’t discussed with my FI yet, and I am worried he will disaprove as he was raised very traditionally and didn’t like the idea of me keeping my name, not wearing white, not walking the isle (all things I entertained doing [still not walking the isle though!]). I will be changing my name to his, but I’ll be keeping the title Miss."

  Very odd.  She doesn't explain why she wants to do this.  I would really like to read her rationale.  Maybe she is one of those people who enjoy confusing others?
  

  

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• photokitty mod

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  I'm curious if she lives in the south. It seems more common in the south, particularly for African American women, to be called Miss FirstName. Or is a teacher and the children Ted to use one honorific, regardless if martial status. Granted, that doesn't explain the fact she wants to take his last name as pair it with Miss. I just don't get it.

  ~xoxo~

  
  

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• DrillSergeantCat member

  

  September 2016

  photokitty said:

  I'm curious if she lives in the south. It seems more common in the south, particularly for African American women, to be called Miss FirstName. Or is a teacher and the children Ted to use one honorific, regardless if martial status. Granted, that doesn't explain the fact she wants to take his last name as pair it with Miss. I just don't get it.

  At first reading this, I was like, "Nuh uh" then it dawned on me that I call the grandmother in my son's daycare room Miss Marla and the other that I know is married Miss Karla. Now I have no idea why I do that! I guess it just seems rude since they haven't given their last names to just call the by their first name.

  

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• TheMostHappy15 member

  

  September 2016

  If anything, why doesn't she just go by Ms.? Unless I'm crazy it's pronounced the exact same so it doesn't have a different "ring to it" and I think it's somewhat commonly used by women who don't feel their title should be dependent on their marital status. I always thought "Miss" signifies age more than anything, like to be used for girls under 18... is she aware of that implication (or am I making that implication up)?
  
  Anyway, what kind of responses did she get?

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• DrillSergeantCat member

  

  September 2016

  TheMostHappy15 said:

  If anything, why doesn't she just go by Ms.? Unless I'm crazy it's pronounced the exact same so it doesn't have a different "ring to it" and I think it's somewhat commonly used by women who don't feel their title should be dependent on their marital status. I always thought "Miss" signifies age more than anything, like to be used for girls under 18... is she aware of that implication (or am I making that implication up)?
  
  Anyway, what kind of responses did she get?

  Ms. is pronounced miz.

  

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• TheMostHappy15 member

  

  September 2016

  DrillSergeantCat said:
  

  TheMostHappy15 said:

  If anything, why doesn't she just go by Ms.? Unless I'm crazy it's pronounced the exact same so it doesn't have a different "ring to it" and I think it's somewhat commonly used by women who don't feel their title should be dependent on their marital status. I always thought "Miss" signifies age more than anything, like to be used for girls under 18... is she aware of that implication (or am I making that implication up)?
  
  Anyway, what kind of responses did she get?

  Ms. is pronounced miz.

  
  

  I honestly don’t know if this is a regional thing or just the people around me are pronouncing things wrong, but I’ve always heard people use the “miz” and “miss” pronunciations for both “Ms.” and “Miss” interchangeably- as in a school teacher called Ms. Brown could expect to be called “Miss Brown” or “Miz Brown.”

  Either way, if I ever saw “Miss Brown” written out on something, I would assume a young lady under the age of 18 was being addressed. Again, that might be a regional thing.

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• TrixieJess member

  

  September 2016

  Ironring said:

  Naming preferences for honourifics, etc come up frequently and was just a recent topic in another thread. I saw this thread on another forum and thought I'd bring it over here for everyone's amusement or discussion
  
  

  "I’m thinking of keeping Miss, regardless of it’s implication that I am unmarried, as I feel that it has a nicer ring to it. If people want to assume that I am not married I couldn’t really give a toss, it doesn’t affect me in any way shape or form. I also don’t think I’d be offended if people assumed my title was Ms or Mrs, as that is definitely the norm. Just wanted to see if there were any bees who went this route? Probably a long shot, doesn’t seem like it even crosses most women’s minds!

  Haven’t discussed with my FI yet, and I am worried he will disaprove as he was raised very traditionally and didn’t like the idea of me keeping my name, not wearing white, not walking the isle (all things I entertained doing [still not walking the isle though!]). I will be changing my name to his, but I’ll be keeping the title Miss."

  TL;DR: this special snowflake wants to keep the title Miss after she gets married and wants to know what people think. 

  I haven't gone by Miss since I was about 16. I have all my correspondence coming to me as Ms. That's not going to change when I get married. Miss is for little girls, much like the honourific Master, it needs to be shed after about 12 or 13. 

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• spockforprez member

  

  September 2016

  I strongly prefer Ms., with the Z sound emphasized. Miss definitely sounds youthful to my ear, and although I don't want to get into a debate, I will say that I'm opposed to Mrs. because I think it's sexist.
  
  My SIL, whom I've mentioned before in regard to this issue, has finally got it through her head that I kept my name -- but now insists on addressing me as Mrs. Firstname Mylast, even though that is not traditional by any etiquette I'm aware of.

  
  

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• mollybarker11 member

  

  September 2016 edited September 2016

  The only times I see "Miss" used is:
  - addressing a young girl
  - children addressing a teacher
  - addressing an elderly woman in a way that I think is meant to be cute/cheeky but always seems condescending to me
  
  I don't understand why an adult woman would want to be called Miss and I don't understand why an adult woman would let her FI dictate her attire and surname.

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• [Deleted User] member

  

  September 2016

  Apparently the OP is not a teacher. I would understand if that were the case. 

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• CMGragain member

  

  October 2016 edited October 2016

  In the south, Miss, Ms. and Mrs. are all pronounced the same, "miz".  You can only tell the difference if it is written out.  (Five years in Memphis.)
  
  Traditional etiquette uses "Miss" for any female who is unmarried.  It has never meant "young female".  The south does tend to be more traditional with titles.  Of course, you can choose an appropriate title to use with your own name, but to choose an inappropriate one, just because "it has a nicer ring to it" is weird.
  The only people who should use "Miss" after being married are mature, respected actresses. (Miss Bette Davis, Miss Barbara Stanwyk)
  

  

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• lovesclimbing member

  

  October 2016

  For what it's worth, I had never heard until a year or so ago here on TK that Miss and Ms. were two different things. I thought Ms. was an abbreviation of Miss just like how Mr. and Mrs. are abbreviations. 

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• ILoveBeachMusic member

  

  October 2016

  CMGragain said:

  In the south, Miss, Ms. and Mrs. are all pronounced the same, "miz".  You can only tell the difference if it is written out.  (Five years in Memphis.)
  
  Traditional etiquette uses "Miss" for any female who is unmarried.  It has never meant "young female".  The south does tend to be more traditional with titles.  Of course, you can choose an appropriate title to use with your own name, but to choose an inappropriate one, just because "it has a nicer ring to it" is weird.
  The only people who should use "Miss" after being married are mature, respected actresses. (Miss Bette Davis, Miss Barbara Stanwyk)
  

  I was raised in the south and disagree with the pronunciation here. For me, Ms. was pronounced Mizz, Mrs. was pronounced Missus or Missses, and Miss was "miss". I do agree that Miss is often used with a first name for a teacher (preschool) or caregiver or group leader (scouts etc.). It can also be used as a form of respect to an older person - think the show the Waltons with Miss Maime.

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