Honoring my deceased pappaw

Answers

• PamBeesly524 member

  

  October 2016

  Don't reserve his seat or place a rose - that's morbid. Your wedding is a celebration of you and your spouse, not a memorial service. I would suggest having a photograph of him on a table off to the side somewhere, or something less obvious than what you have suggested above.
  
  

  

  

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• DrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member

  

  October 2016

  I wore my dad's wedding ring on a bracelet and a dear friend gave me a charm with my dad's picture in it that was tied around my bouquet. Very few people knew it was there and that's how it should be. I can be sad that my dad wasn't there, but I didn't want people focusing on the fact that he wasn't. 
  
  At the reception, we had pictures of our dads (my DH's has passed also) on display but no cutesy saying about missing them or whatnot.

  

  

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• climbingsingle NYC 'burbs member

  

  October 2016

  Honestly, I tend to think things like this aren't appropriate at weddings. This is a celebration, and doing something like this will most likely just make a lot of people sad. 
  
  I carried a locket with my grandfather's picture on my bouquet. I had my photographer take a picture of it for me. That's it. 

  
  

  

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• banana468 member

  

  October 2016

  climbingwife said:

  Honestly, I tend to think things like this aren't appropriate at weddings. This is a celebration, and doing something like this will most likely just make a lot of people sad. 
  
  I carried a locket with my grandfather's picture on my bouquet. I had my photographer take a picture of it for me. That's it. 

  This.
  
  I get it.   When we go through major life occasions it's human nature to reflect on who you wish could attend.
  
  However to start to turn your wedding or any other celebratory event into a memorial for those who can't be there takes away from the occasion itself.   
  
  I'd opt for holding something sentimental or having a photo locket put into your bouquet.   

  

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• MobKaz Chicago suburbs member

  

  October 2016

  There are many posts on The Knot regarding ways to remember loved ones on your wedding day.  The consensus is to be subtle in the way to keep someone in your heart on your wedding day.
  
  Incorporate a favorite flower or color in your theme and decor.  Play a favorite upbeat song during your reception.  Incorporate a favorite food or beverage into your menu.  If you have any clothing, sew a piece into your wedding dress, or wrap something around your bouquet.
  

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  October 2016 edited October 2016

  Knottie1469077880 said:

  my pappaw was a major part of mine and my dads life he passed in 2012. I want to do something special to honor him. I plan to have his seat reserved but I would like to hear other people advice also. I thought about when dad walks me down the aisle us both carrying a rose and putting it on pappaws chair before he gives me away. Is that ok to do? 

  Please do not do either of these things at your wedding ceremony.  Your wedding is a joyous celebration, not a memorial service.  Any public display that emphasizes your loss in not appropriate at a wedding.
  I had my grandmother privately place a flower from my bouquet on Dad's grave after the wedding.  No one knew except the two of us.  The other posters' suggestions about carrying a private memento are good.
  

  

  

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• SP29 member

  

  October 2016

  Play his favourite song at the reception.
  
  Carry a picture of him in a locket you wear, or a charm on your bouquet or bracelet.
  

  

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• Jen4948 Houston member

  

  October 2016

  As PPs have mentioned, any memorial gestures for your grandfather should be subtle so as not to evoke grief and loss, as those are not appropriate emotions for a wedding.
  
  You can wear or carry something your grandfather owned or that was associated with him; you can provide food, drinks, decorations, or entertainment he would have enjoyed; you can give him a tribute in a wedding program if you will have one, and you can say appropriate prayers if your ceremony is religious. 
  
  But anything that comes off as a sequel to a funeral, including reserved seats with flowers on them, should be avoided.

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