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Wedding Woes

Bite your tongue so hard it bleeds. This is not your business.

Dear Prudence,
I’m at a loss. From a reliable source, I found out that, while they were separated, one of my best friend’s husbands was seen kissing a man. Because they were formally separated for more than a year, I don’t really feel I would be compelled to tell her if he had been dating another woman, but I am wondering if it changes things that her (presumably straight) husband may be hiding a pretty big part of his identity from her (do people still experiment in their 50s?). I also feel that it’s wrong that I know (as do others of our group who were present when the reliable source told us what he had seen), and she does not. If it is relevant, they are both in their early 50s and have two school-age children and a pretty terrible marriage (according to her), but they seem to be trying to make it work. We all wish we did not know, but we do. What should I do?

—Do I Tell My Friend Her Husband Is Bisexual or Gay?

Re: Bite your tongue so hard it bleeds. This is not your business.

  • 1)  Hearsay =/= eyewitness account.  

    2)  It's none of your business.

    3)  STFU.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

  • What would telling her do? Nothing.

    Guessing by the age he was probably feeling like he had to be in the closet for awhile. Maybe she knows and that's why they split?
  • I can understand wanting to tell the friend. It would feel like a lie. However, I think if I saw him kissing another man, I'd say something when I saw it. Just hearing about it, I'd assume it was just a rumor. I'd probably tell the person who actually saw it that they should say something.
  • Anyone else thinking Katy Perry parody "I kissed a guy and I liked it'it taste of his cherry chapstick..."
  • Also, how does LW know the wife doesn't know about who he was spending time with when they were on a break?
  • Also, how does LW know the wife doesn't know about who he was spending time with when they were on a break?
    I'm wondering if wife knew and that could be reason for split.
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