Dear Prudence,
I recently started dating someone I thought I was head-over-heels for. Before meeting in person, we spent hours each day talking and getting to know each other. I felt I knew what I was getting into and was ready for marriage and babies. Fast-forward three months, and I’m not sure I can stand the guy. I feel like he lied to me when he told me about himself. This man has no social consciousness. He doesn’t know anything about the upcoming elections. He ignores news about gun violence and other important events. His passivity often causes him to act offensively, in my opinion. For instance, we recently found out a woman we know is in an abusive relationship. Rather than helping the woman, he said he couldn’t make a judgment about the situation because he didn’t “know all the details.” When I eventually showed him proof the woman has been hurt, he finally relented and helped me give her assistance. I was angry that it took so long before he finally stepped up to the plate and helped. I also see this in his relationship to my brother, who is handicapped and has been discriminated against. Rather than standing up for my brother, my boyfriend just chooses to walk away, leaving my brother and me to fend for ourselves. I am getting to the point where I cannot stand to be around my boyfriend and almost feel like he is doing this on purpose. Thus far, I’ve chosen to stay with him, hoping that the person I thought he was will eventually emerge. But I’m scared that if anything happens to me or my family he will disappear and only resurface after we’ve dealt with everything. I’ve brought this to his attention many times, and all he says is that he’s not an opinionated person. Is there a way for us to meet in the middle?