Am I wrong?

lovesclimbing · October 2016

charlotte989875 said:

banana468 said:

charlotte989875 said:

A little off topic, but I think the "she doesn't know what she's doing" or "she's not thinking about the needs of her child" are a little unfair. We don't know anything about this woman. Maybe she will be a new mom, maybe she has ten kids and knows what to expect. Maybe she has a nanny or family that are planning to be with her. Who knows. But I just reads a little condescending to me to say that she isn't taking the needs of her newborn into account and that she can't possibly be thinking of doing this. It's her life and choice.

FTR, I don't have kids, so I probably have no idea what I'm talking about. But it just sounds like a few people are putting down this woman for even thinking she might still try to attend a wedding near her due date.

It's that until you go through childbirth, you don't know what to expect.

I was this woman. I had no clue what life had in store for me. I don't mean it as an insult but I do think that she's potentially really naive.

If she's feeling up to it, great. After my secold child I felt fantastic. But baby number one came out and I felt like poo.

I agree with all of this. I guess some of the comments about "she's crazy" or "she's not thinking about her newborn child" rubbed me the wrong way. She may feel terrible and want to decline. She may feel great and want to go. And I agree probably won't know until the child is born.

She also might not have the baby yet and feel okay. Or the baby might come weeks early. No one has any idea, so to say absolutely she's crazy or implying she has no idea what she's doing just seems a little unfair to me.

I agree. I feel like people always assume everything is going to be terrible. Oh you'll tear, oh you'll have labored for 30 hours and be so tired, oh you won't even want to move. Well, not everyone is like that! I'm newly pregnant, and the annoying thing about online pregnancy forums is they're all about how horrible it is. So much diarrhea, I'm so sick, I'm so bloated, etc. Well, I haven't had any of that. My mom never had a day of morning sickness in any of her eight pregnancies.

I have a cousin, who despite still being sore, went to her SIL's wedding when the baby was about five days old. My sister went on vacation (which included a seven hour drive) and then went hiking with her newborn when she was just two weeks old! One of my best friends was taking short walks and hikes within a week of her baby's birth even after losing a significant amount of blood due to some issues with part of the placenta staying inside her uterus.

Not everyone has a horrible experience with birth or, even if it goes pretty well, is laid up for a long time. Many people are up and at it right away.

I honestly think it's a good sign for someone to be actively talking about all this stuff they're going to do afterward and goals for being active and getting out after baby. It probably means they will work hard to do that, and that's a good thing!

Sure, births can have complications and pregnancy can be difficult, but it is a completely normal part of life. It's not a disease or an illness or some awful process.

kimmiinthemitten · October 2016

@lovesclimbing congrats!!! Does this mean the job search is off?!

GBCK · October 2016

see, I just think planning on rest is always positive.

My L&D went as well as anything could--I had a bit extra tearing and a bit extra infection after, but, really, I had a REALLY easy L&D. And my kid was incredibly healthy. ANd we were out and about within 2 weeks. But the idea of trying to dress up and go out and be human within 72 hours? that would have been horrifying. I'd have done it for, perhaps one of my sisters, but I can't imagine doing it for anyone else.

SO sure, have going to the wedding be plan B. But have 'take care of mom and baby in a slightly more private/at home status' be plan A.

lovesclimbing · October 2016

kimmiinthemitten said:

@lovesclimbing congrats!!! Does this mean the job search is off?!

Thank you! No, but it is a bit different. I'm hoping to find something temporary for a few months. My job is over now since the move is coming up, and even with packing, I've been quite bored at times. I think I'd go crazy with no job for the next eight months!

mrsconn23 · October 2016

We were told that it was OK to take DefConn out, but to limit touching or anyone near his face. Three days postpartum was after the first night home and he was completely rotten. We were up all night taking turns rocking him. I had my first big breakdown because I was out of my mind with exhaustion. SO yeah, a wedding would not have happened.

We didn't take DefConn on his first outing until 5 days after he was born. We went to the store. Up until that point, DH would do the runs to the store.

kvruns · October 2016

congrats @lovesclimibing ! I'm a month away from my due date and understand what you mean about all the bad stuff you hear/read. I've been fortunate to have it pretty easy and you almost feel bad about it bc of not suffering like all these other people you hear about

DrillSergeantCat · October 2016

@lovesclimbing & @kvruns people can't seem to keep their opinions to themselves. I had a few hours of morning sickness, my last labor was 6 hours, I barely tore, and all the aches, pains, and irritations of pregnancy vanished immediately. Plus I had a pretty cute baby to snuggle so that helped things. I had a customer tell me my baby was going to have Down's Syndrome because I wasn't eating a lot. My face regarding people's opinions concerning pregnancy is often like this:

Image: http://media.tumblr.com/91f7f11310e4997410e4a5702bbad37e/tumblr_inline_mfjh6nyf3D1qaqsz7.gif

lovesclimbing · October 2016

Thanks, @kvruns and @DrillSergeantCat. We're pretty excited. We haven't told anyone IRL yet, but are planning to call our parents tonight!

Heffalump · October 2016

@lovesclimbing, congratulations!

DrillSergeantCat said:

@lovesclimbing & @kvruns people can't seem to keep their opinions to themselves. I had a few hours of morning sickness, my last labor was 6 hours, I barely tore, and all the aches, pains, and irritations of pregnancy vanished immediately. Plus I had a pretty cute baby to snuggle so that helped things. I had a customer tell me my baby was going to have Down's Syndrome because I wasn't eating a lot. My face regarding people's opinions concerning pregnancy is often like this:

Wha.....?

DrillSergeantCat · October 2016

Heffalump said:

Wha.....?

Yeah...He said his sister didn't eat much when she was pregnant and her baby was born with Down's so I'd better be careful. I quickly transferred him.

Am I wrong?

Re: Am I wrong?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards