Wedding Woes

Here is the other side of this issue... :(

Dear Prudence,
I had the most humiliating experience at work: a supervisor, politely and discreetly, told me I smell. I was so horrified and now I don’t know how I can stand to show my face at work. I know it isn’t an excuse, but I’ve been suffering from gradually worsening depression and a main symptom I experience is a lack of motivation for self-care. I had never dreamed it was this bad. I’m sure if one person said something, it stands to reason that several noticed. Aside from obviously finding a new zeal for hygiene, I have no idea how to move on from this. Should I try to explain myself by telling my boss about the depression? Should I quit my job, change my name, and move to a tiny remote island in the middle of the sea?


Re: Here is the other side of this issue... :(

  • I don't think you need to explain anything to anyone. If you're taking care of yourself now (and continue to do so), and the issue is resolved it will fade. LW could mention to the boss they have a medical condition, but really as long as she/he maintains proper hygiene from here on out the talk will die down. 
  • Seek help and take a shower.
    Once you're in a better place and feel like it, maybe speak with your boss. Thank them for encouraging you to seek help and being discreet about the situation.
    Don't feel you need to, but it might help your boss to understand that it's not a normal circumstance and maybe it will help them to notice if yourself or others get into a similar situation again.
  • OliveOilsMomOliveOilsMom South Jersey member
    Tenth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers

    If LW knows they are slipping into depression as the cause of the issue, hopefully this will help them to step out and get help or more help than what they already have. 

    Perhaps LW could look at showering as part of their job.  If LW only mentioned the discussion about the smell, it must be that (s)he is getting to work on time and not having any work performance issues.  If looking at showering as an extension of their job, it might help motivate them to begin a new routine prior to work each day.

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