Second Weddings

Ex got remarried too

I married my first husband when I was just shy of 22. We'd been together for 5 years. Our marriage lasted 5 years before I found out he had involved himself in some highly inappropriate Internet activity that put him on the FBI's radar. We promptly divorced. 

I went through a major change discovering who I was (read: growing up), dating for the first time really, and after 3 years I found the man of my dreams. He's everything I always knew the first one was not. We got married this July and I couldn't be happier. 

My ex-BIL is my cousin's husband's best friend. My cousin, her husband, and I are very close. And they do a very good job of not talking about the man we affectionately refer to as Shithead. They don't update me on him, even though I know they get updates. However, a piece of news reached me this weekend, Shithead got remarried two weeks ago. 

The divorce was painful because it was more like my best friend died. The one counselor I talked to likened it to a death because we discovered that the man we thought we knew was not at all who he really was. And I say "friend" because I knew, even while walking down the aisle, that I didn't love him romantically, he was just my best friend (young and stupid).

Although, as all of us who have been divorced and now found real love know, I don't feel jealous or bothered by him remarrying. But it still blows my mind. WHO THE HELL WOULD MARRY THAT GUY?!?! Dude is a pedophile!

I know him well enough to know that he would never tell her the whole story (he told me everything in front of his criminal lawyer), he hasn't told his own brother everything (my cousin's husband says he knows more than the brother does). I do know she knows some of it, because she was a friend of one of my friends. When my friend found out who she was dating, she tried to warn her, but the new girl didn't want to hear it. Their friendship actually ended over it.

This is really just a venting post. Since some on this board might have gone through something similar (finding out ex remarried and thinking "who the F would marry him?") I figured I'd share.

What were your thoughts/feelings when you heard your ex remarried?

Re: Ex got remarried too

  • Jells2dot0Jells2dot0 Cowtown mod
    Moderator Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its
    I was married to my ex for two years and divorced in 2006 just because we married young and didn't grow together. There wasn't anything earth shattering about any of it, really.  I married someone I cared about, but was not in love with. I believe he'd say the same thing. 

    I ended up remarrying in 2012. I just found out about a month ago that he remarried in 2013. He and I crossed paths occasionally after the divorce and were aware of each other's new relationships. He had made a comment to me that my now H was certainly different than himself. I took great care in working on myself and my relationship following the divorce, so I avoided falling back into the same traps. However, with the little I know about his new wife, I wonder WTF HE was thinking. LOL All of the things I did wrong in our marriage are traits she seemed to have brought into their relationship. She has a young child with her ex and I hope that the new marriage doesn't implode for the sake of the child. 

    I guess I'm sad that that period in my life was a bit of a failure, but I'm trying to be happy for him because I strongly believe we're both better off without each other. I don't really have any connection to him whatsoever, which is pretty obvious given that I just found out he remarried 3 years ago, but I want things to work out for him. I just don't know if they will. 


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