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Addressing Save the Dates return address

jgaudet5388jgaudet5388 member
First Anniversary First Comment
edited October 2016 in Wedding Invitations & Paper
How should I address our return address for STD we don't live together and don't have a place to live yet? Our STD don't have our last names so I have a feeling that some people might not realize who it is without the last names. I was thinking of putting his last name and address for his list ans my info for my list. We also didn't put "formal invitation to follow" is that a problem? Thanks!! 
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Re: Addressing Save the Dates return address

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    When DD sent out her STD the return address was hers but I don't think she had her name just the address. Wouldn't people that are being invited to your wedding know at least one of you by your first name?  Are your parents hosting? You could put their return address I suppose. I think I would just put both of your names and one address(doesn't matter which one).
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited October 2016
    jgaudet5388 said:
    How should I address our return address for STD we don't live together and don't have a place to live yet? Our STD don't have our last names so I have a feeling that some people might not realize who it is without the last names. I was thinking of putting his last name and address for his list ans my info for my list. We also didn't put "formal invitation to follow" is that a problem? Thanks!! 
    Yes, I think the omission of your last names is a problem.  Can you have them redone?
    The phrase "Formal invitation to follow" should always be on any STD.  This is the purpose of an STD, to indicate that a formal invitation is coming.  Without this, you are simply announcing a future wedding, not indicating that the recipient will be invited to it, which is very rude.
    The return address is only necessary if a piece of mail is misdirected or undeliverable.  No response is expected to an STD.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited October 2016
    How timely! The following letter appeared in Miss Manner's column a few days ago:

    Dear Miss Manners • There must be a new trend in save-the-date cards for upcoming weddings. In the past few months I have received three such requests, but on all three cards, the couples failed to include their last names. There was a beautiful photo of the happy couple, and the words “Save the Date” for Mike and Haley, or Tiffany and Bob, and so on.

    In all three cases, we have no idea who they are!

    Granted, we have a large social network, as well as the adult friends of our children who may be getting married, but I feel it is so rude to send a save-the-date card for a large event and expect that everyone knows who they are. Is it me, or is it wrong of them to be so self-centered? And finally, how do I politely ask them to reveal their identities?

    Gentle Reader • It is not unusual for those about to be married to think they are alone on the planet, and in very limited doses, it can even be endearing.

    But expecting a stranger to hold a date is both impolite and impractical. If the trouble you are put to involves checking the last name on the return address against the names of your friends’ children, Miss Manners wonders if it is not more trouble to point out the inconvenience.

    But if not, leave open the possibility that the rudeness was caused by someone other than Tiffany or Bob. If there is a return address, respond: “My apologies, but the way the invitation arrived, we could not tell who had sent it. Could you please let me know whom I am addressing?”

    ______________________________________________________________


    From me - STDs aren't required. You could skip them. Problem solved.



                       
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  • SP29SP29 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I think the last name debate is a know your crowd/guest list thing. Generally speaking, STDs should only be given to VIPs to ensure they know your wedding date, thus I would assume one's VIPs would know who Jim and Sue are. But, many couples send everyone a STD, or use them for destination weddings, in which case, last names should be included. No, you shouldn't expect your parent's neighbour to know it is you (general you) the STD is for.

    The STD should state "Formal invitation to follow".
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  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Also, make sure you have a return address! We just received a STD yesterday. There was no return address. If they had the wrong address for a guest, the STD won't be returned to them, and they'll never know they don't have the correct address.
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  • MairePoppyMairePoppy mod
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2016
    ILoveBeachMusic said:
    Also, make sure you have a return address! We just received a STD yesterday. There was no return address. If they had the wrong address for a guest, the STD won't be returned to them, and they'll never know they don't have the correct address.
    I put my return address on everything for that reason. I want it returned if it isn't delivered.

    I think last names should be on invitations and STDs, even if you're sending them to only your nearest and dearest. Maybe Granny wants to get the spelling right on her new GSILs last name. It's just another way to communicate important info. 

    On the subject of addresses and last names: We had a community member who wanted to convey a laid back, casual vibe through her wedding invitations. She addressed her wedding (actually a PPD) to her guests using their first names, no last names, because she thought using the last names seemed formal and unfriendly. Guess who didn't have so many RSVPs? Not a great idea when you need a headcount. 
                       
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  • kimmiinthemittenkimmiinthemitten member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    If you are sending someone a STD with a photo and they don't know who you are, they should never have been on the STD list to begin with.

    OP - yes, it needs to say formal invitation to follow.  I would also include your last names if you believe some recipients won't know who you are.
    image
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    jgaudet5388 said:
    How should I address our return address for STD we don't live together and don't have a place to live yet? Our STD don't have our last names so I have a feeling that some people might not realize who it is without the last names. I was thinking of putting his last name and address for his list ans my info for my list. We also didn't put "formal invitation to follow" is that a problem? Thanks!! 
    The Smith-Jones Wedding
    123 Maple Street
    Town, State   Zip
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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