Chit Chat

AW - Married! (kinda long)

Well it's almost time to get back to reality; DH goes back to work tonight, and my first shift back is Monday. Overall, our wedding was wonderful, and I can't even complain about the weather (even though I was chilly). I don't know if y'all remember, but I had a bridesmaid step down because she found out that she was pregnant; she actually had her baby on October 2 and asked if it was too late for her to be a bridesmaid again. She looked beautiful, and I couldn't have been happier to have her.
 
However, no wedding is complete without a little drama; I swear I must've boarded the crazy train for the weekend. We had NO problems to really speak of this entire time, so I kinda figured something might go wrong; I didn't think it would be one thing after the other though! My coordinator (the venue's director of special events) was completely horrible the week leading up to the wedding. On Tuesday, she called me and said that we weren't having shrimp as an hors d'oeuvre anymore because she didn't understand her notes from our tasting and didn't order enough (which was her "resolution" after a series of emails). Thankfully, she figured out some way to make sure we had the shrimp. When we were at the venue for rehearsal, the rentals were being delivered. I raised concern over the chairs and she said "it'll still be beautiful." Well, okay, but I asked for chiavari chairs and these are not what I requested and paid for. We had a couple call us the morning before the wedding to say that they were unable to make it because his mother was in the hospital. I sent an email to our coordinator to let her know that we would be setting that table for two less seats. She sent me a message and said "Well you already paid for them and we bought the food, there's no refund." I replied and told her that I wasn't looking for a refund because I understand that the food was already bought, I was simply requesting the table be set for two less people. Fast forward to the wedding; she pulls me and DH "aside" (literally right behind the last row) and basically had a freakout because "the seating chart is ALL wrong; there were more names than there are chairs." I reminded her that we had this conversation yesterday and the table we were referring to was already taken care of. I found out later that the staff served a plate of crab cakes to DH's uncle who is allergic to shellfish AFTER asking who he was. She wore leggings and a grungy t-shirt to the reception, which struck me as odd, but seemed to bother some of my guests more than it did me. She made my mother-in-law cry after introductions and she was just generally rude to DH and I after the incident transpired. SIL somewhat subtly announced her pregnancy at the end of a toast that she gave. I was surprised to say the least, but DH was pissed. They haven't spoken since.

My lesson in weddings: try as you might, it will NEVER be 100% completely perfect. Even after reading countless reviews, I never saw that shit storm coming from my coordinator. However, at the end of it all, we had a great time and all that truly matters is that we got married. The rest is just an added bonus and it makes our wedding ours. As you know, DH and I are in public safety, so we just took this as a nod to our daily life...nothing ever goes according to plan A (or B or C). We don't have any pictures back yet, but here's a few that people have posted on Facebook. The branches behind the arch were supposed to be lit up for the ceremony, but a little critter chewed through the extension cord and nobody knew about it until it was too late. My dad did go to his truck to get a new one though, so some of our professional pictures were taken with them on.
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Re: AW - Married! (kinda long)

  • ILoveBeachMusicILoveBeachMusic Indiana member
    2500 Comments Fifth Anniversary 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Congratulations! Glad you could roll with the punches!
    OurWildKingdomericasm0703cowgirl8238
  • Congrats! Lovely photos!  
    Ditto Olive I'd probably let the owner of the venue know what you dealt with, if for no other reason than the fact that hopefully another couple won't have the same experience. But as you said, at the end of the day you had a great time, and you're married  :) great outlook to have!
    OurWildKingdomericasm0703
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    Congratulations! You have some great stories to retell on your anniversaries! I admire your positive attitude.
    ericasm0703
  • I've drafted an email, but when I reread it, it just sounds awful. I sent a message to the coordinator and that backfired significantly. She basically spun it back on me and said that I didn't care enough to keep her informed as to what decisions were being made. And the issue with my MIL wasn't her fault because she (the coordinator) was just responding to my MIL's "annoying, pretentious and overbearing attitude." Basically, while we were getting ready, the coordinator was showing the venue to another couple. The coordinator told them that they were more than welcome to look in the bridal suite, but my MIL said that we were all changing into our dresses and asked that they wait a few minutes until we were done before they looked. The coordinator said it made her look bad in front of them, and potentially cost her the booking because "how was I supposed to know you were changing?"

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  • Congratulations!  I'm glad you didn't let some of those things bother you!

    I would be inclined to contact the venue owner to tell them of your problems with the coordinator though.  I wouldn't do it to try and get any money back, but her behavior was totally unprofessional from her attire to the way she treated your MIL.
    Ditto contacting the venue. Also, you should be refunded for the chairs since you didn't get them!! Unless her dress got eaten up by the lawnmower finishing the landscaping, there's no reason for wearing what she did. Coordinators are supposed to blend in and leggings and grungy short definitely don't do that! 
    Thankfully, we are getting refunded for the chairs. Apparently it was an error on the part of the rental company and they have refunded the venue. I just have to call them on Monday.

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    lovesclimbingDrillSergeantCat
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    You look beautiful!!  Congratulations  

    ericasm0703
  • Congratulations! Love your dress!

    I've drafted an email, but when I reread it, it just sounds awful. I sent a message to the coordinator and that backfired significantly. She basically spun it back on me and said that I didn't care enough to keep her informed as to what decisions were being made. And the issue with my MIL wasn't her fault because she (the coordinator) was just responding to my MIL's "annoying, pretentious and overbearing attitude." Basically, while we were getting ready, the coordinator was showing the venue to another couple. The coordinator told them that they were more than welcome to look in the bridal suite, but my MIL said that we were all changing into our dresses and asked that they wait a few minutes until we were done before they looked. The coordinator said it made her look bad in front of them, and potentially cost her the booking because "how was I supposed to know you were changing?"

    After THIS- I would definitely contact the venue owner. Very rude, and she seems to accept no responsibility for anything that happened.

    I am aware of many venues who will show a prospective client the venue all set up so people can get an idea of what things actually look like- but that is usually the day before or morning of the wedding, not at the same time the couple to be married is there using the venue! Just no!
    cowgirl8238short+sassy
  • SP29 said:
    Congratulations! Love your dress!

    I've drafted an email, but when I reread it, it just sounds awful. I sent a message to the coordinator and that backfired significantly. She basically spun it back on me and said that I didn't care enough to keep her informed as to what decisions were being made. And the issue with my MIL wasn't her fault because she (the coordinator) was just responding to my MIL's "annoying, pretentious and overbearing attitude." Basically, while we were getting ready, the coordinator was showing the venue to another couple. The coordinator told them that they were more than welcome to look in the bridal suite, but my MIL said that we were all changing into our dresses and asked that they wait a few minutes until we were done before they looked. The coordinator said it made her look bad in front of them, and potentially cost her the booking because "how was I supposed to know you were changing?"

    After THIS- I would definitely contact the venue owner. Very rude, and she seems to accept no responsibility for anything that happened.

    I am aware of many venues who will show a prospective client the venue all set up so people can get an idea of what things actually look like- but that is usually the day before or morning of the wedding, not at the same time the couple to be married is there using the venue! Just no!
    This. We were shown the venue initially before a wedding. She made us get there early, and we had to be out by 10:00 because that's when the bridal party was showing up. I told her that we would be there at 11:30 (ceremony was at 5). When she came up with the couple, it had to have been about 3:00 or so. No wonder she had a meltdown over the seating chart...

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  • missfrodo        I say, definitely contact the owner of the venue and let them know your concerns, as well as show them ALL correspondence from your coordinator.  If you don't feel comfortable with the tone of your email, show it to us here and we'll let you know how it sounds.

    I couldn't love this more than once, but this is exactly my thoughts reading through your post!

    Also congrats on being married, and keep up the positive outlook.  At least you will always have some stories to share!  Keep us posted on how this all works out!

    RedheadIshida
  • Congrats!  You and your H look wonderful.  Kudos for rolling with the punches and not letting that awful coordinator put a bad note on your all's day.

    The only thing that might have ruined the coordinator's booking with that couple is the fact that she was actually showing them the venue WHILE it was actively being used for a wedding.  As a potential bride, I would have been horrified the coordinator was trying to show my FI and I the bridal suite at the same time another bride and her bridal party were using it or potentially using it.  Because, after all, if she did it to one bride...what would stop her from doing it on my wedding day.  So, yes, I'm sure that did leave a bad impression with that couple, through absolutely no fault of your MIL.

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    DrillSergeantCat
  • DrillSergeantCatDrillSergeantCat Oklahoma City, OK member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary First Answer
    The fact that she tried to turn it around on your MIL is despicable. Why would she think it's acceptable to take strangers into a room of women who are changing? What response was your MIL to have in that regard? I'm echoing PPs that you need to contact the venue owner. 
    short+sassy
  • spockforprezspockforprez Virginia member
    500 Love Its 1000 Comments Third Anniversary Name Dropper
    CONGRATS!!!!!!! You look absolutely stunning.

    I can't even believe your wedding coordinator. That... is startlingly bad. I'm so sorry. I'm glad your day turned out great even so! 
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  • Congratulations! You look beautiful.

    I'm impressed with your composure re: the wedding coordinator. I thought it was bad when ours told us to "suck it up" when we asked how we could keep the sun from glaring in our faces, and briefly lost our rings. That was nothing compared to yours. I would complain to the venue too.
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    MissKittyDanger
  • drglitter said:
    Congratulations! You look beautiful.

    I'm impressed with your composure re: the wedding coordinator. I thought it was bad when ours told us to "suck it up" when we asked how we could keep the sun from glaring in our faces, and briefly lost our rings. That was nothing compared to yours. I would complain to the venue too.

    I just saw your ticker, congrats to you too!
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    drglitter
  • drglitter said:
    Congratulations! You look beautiful.

    I'm impressed with your composure re: the wedding coordinator. I thought it was bad when ours told us to "suck it up" when we asked how we could keep the sun from glaring in our faces, and briefly lost our rings. That was nothing compared to yours. I would complain to the venue too.

    I just saw your ticker, congrats to you too!
    Thank you!
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  • You do look amazing!! Congratulations on your marriage! That coordinator? Wow. What a nut job.  :p
  • Thank you all! It's been a crazy week, but I did get in touch with a person who manages the club as a whole. I explained everything that happened and he told me to email him with as much detail as possible and that he would speak with her about it. Who knows what'll happen from here, but I just hope that nobody else gets the same treatment we got.

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    short+sassy
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