Invite Teachers to Ceremony?

Re: Invite Teachers to Ceremony?

• Jen4948 member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  To be honest, I wouldn't.
  
  Have you and/or your FI actually stayed in touch with your teachers and maintained any kind of relationship with them over the years, or do you want to do this just because you think it would be "adorably sweet" ? If it's the latter, then I would skip it. Don't use your wedding to "honor" all the people in your life -- just those who really are your "nearest and dearest" along with their SOs.
  
  Remember, when you knew these people and your relationship with your FI was getting under way, they were 1) acquainted with you in a professional, not a personal capacity (unless you had other relationships with them) and 2) probably saw any number of relationships getting under way between their students (so I don't think your circumstances are "unique" just because you're still together and are getting married). 
  
  Edited to add: Even if these weren't your teachers, it's never appropriate to invite anyone to the ceremony but not the reception.
  
  
  

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• missfrodo member

  

  November 2016

  Knottie1449697549 said:

  Hello. My fiance and I met in elementary school and were classmates through 8th grade. We had "dated" in middle school and all of our teachers always joked how we would end up together and watched us interact during class. We are still somewhat in touch with these teachers, thanks to Facebook, etc., but I wouldn't consider us to still be close. Our ceremony is taking place in the town we went to elementary school and I think it would be really nice to invite our teachers who knew us both when we were younger. I assume they would be very grateful to be invited; however, we are not planning on inviting them to the reception (different location as ceremony). Again, I am assuming here, but I assume they would find it very out of the blue to receive an invitation (to both the ceremony AND reception), so I think they would be excited to be invited to the ceremony instead of feeling left out. Do you think it would be adorably sweet to invite them to just the ceremony or follow etiquette and don't even think about it unless we are inviting them to the reception? Please let me know your thoughts, as these circumstances are unique. 

  The reception is a "thank you" to your guests for attending the ceremony.  So anyone who is invited to the ceremony needs to be invited to the reception.  Either invite them to your whole wedding, or none of it.  Both of those are socially acceptable, polite choices.

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• charlotte989875 member

  

  November 2016

  Knottie1449697549 said:

  Hello. My fiance and I met in elementary school and were classmates through 8th grade. We had "dated" in middle school and all of our teachers always joked how we would end up together and watched us interact during class. We are still somewhat in touch with these teachers, thanks to Facebook, etc., but I wouldn't consider us to still be close. Our ceremony is taking place in the town we went to elementary school and I think it would be really nice to invite our teachers who knew us both when we were younger. I assume they would be very grateful to be invited; however, we are not planning on inviting them to the reception (different location as ceremony). Again, I am assuming here, but I assume they would find it very out of the blue to receive an invitation (to both the ceremony AND reception), so I think they would be excited to be invited to the ceremony instead of feeling left out. Do you think it would be adorably sweet to invite them to just the ceremony or follow etiquette and don't even think about it unless we are inviting them to the reception? Please let me know your thoughts, as these circumstances are unique. 

  It's pretty rude to invite someone to the ceremony and not the reception, even if they're not expecting an invite. If you think it would be out of the blue or odd to invite them to the reception, don't invite them to any part of the wedding. I get you're not trying to be rude, but it has the same effect. 

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• Knottie1449697549 member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  @charlotte989875 @missfrodo Thank you very much for your honest opinion. There has not been open lines of communication other than keeping an eye on each other on social media. It would give me great amounts of stress to invite them to one and not the other, so we played with the idea of inviting them to both, but this is stressful as well, as we have already made tough decisions with our guest list. I think I just needed someone to be brutally honest. They will be able to see photos/ video after the fact. Thank you! 

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• MobKaz member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  You do have one other option if you are having a religious ceremony.  If your church publishes wedding banns, then your ceremony date is public knowledge. If any of these teachers belong to your church and have an inclination to attend, they could explore that avenue.  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  Knottie1449697549 said:

  Thank you very much for your honest opinion. There has not been open lines of communication other than keeping an eye on each other on social media. It would give me great amounts of stress to invite them to one and not the other, so we played with the idea of inviting them to both, but this is stressful as well, as we have already made tough decisions with our guest list. I think I just needed someone to be brutally honest. They will be able to see photos/ video after the fact. Thank you! 

  I'm so curious. What is it about inviting someone to your wedding that is stressful???

  

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• CMGragain member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  If you do decide to invite your former teachers to your wedding and reception, you must also invite their spouses/fiances/significant others.  You cannot invite just one half of a couple.  I am guessing that your budget issues will make this the final straw against inviting your former teachers.
  

  

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• Knottie1449697549 member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  @artbyallie Oh. I see how this sound sounds odd. Just that the list of the teachers would push our headcount over our target number/ venue's #.

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• Knottie1449697549 member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  @CMGragain Yes, exactly. For every elementary/ middle school teacher (some of them switched grades and had us twice) we would need to extend the invite to their spouses. I appreciate the feedback!

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• Knottie1449697549 member

  

  November 2016

  @MobKaz I think you may have just found the solution I knew was out there but couldn't quite put my finger on. We did go to a catholic school and are marrying at the school's church. We haven't yet considered the publication/ announcement but might go this route and they can make the decision on their own without officially being invited. 
  

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• artbyallie mod

  

  November 2016

  Knottie1449697549 said:

  @artbyallie Oh. I see how this sound sounds odd. Just that the list of the teachers would push our headcount over our target number/ venue's #.

  Ah. Then by all means, please do not invite over capacity.

  

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• MobKaz member

  

  November 2016

  d 

  Knottie1449697549 said:

  @MobKaz I think you may have just found the solution I knew was out there but couldn't quite put my finger on. We did go to a catholic school and are marrying at the school's church. We haven't yet considered the publication/ announcement but might go this route and they can make the decision on their own without officially being invited. 
  

  There is nothing you need to do.  Banns of Marriage are published as a matter of course in the bulletin.  They are published the three successive weeks just prior to the wedding.  Pretty much anyone can figure out the date, unless your parish offers Friday evening weddings.  Then some minor detective work might be necessary. 
  
  We had several people celebrate my daughter's wedding ceremony in this manner.  She married in her hometown church.  Most of her BM's were childhood friends.  A few mom's of her BM's attended the mass, as did a few of DD's students. 
  

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• SP29 member

  

  November 2016

  Agreed not to invite them unless you also plan on inviting them to the reception.
  
  Sure, they might think it sweet you two are getting married, but personally, unless you've kept up a person relationship with these people, I would not invite them to your wedding.
  
  Since you are getting married at a church, of course they are able to attend if they so choose.
  
  
  

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• iloveu4ever member

  

  November 2016

  I think you should invite them to both. How often do you talk to these teachers? Just wondering. If you talk to them often or at least once or twice in 6 months then invite them.

  
   

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• lnixon8 member

  

  November 2016

  What is it this week with teachers and students inviting each other to wedding ceremonies only?

  
  
  

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• Casadena member

  

  December 2016

  If you'd like them to know you got married you could always send a marriage announcement.  

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