Wedding Vows & Ceremony Discussions

Teacher inviting Students to wedding

My fiance and I are both teachers, so we were thinking of inviting our students to the church for the wedding. We both teach in Catholic schools so it would be special for our students to see the  sacrament take place. Does anyone have any poems or invite ideas we could use? TIA

Re: Teacher inviting Students to wedding

  • My fiance and I are both teachers, so we were thinking of inviting our students to the church for the wedding. We both teach in Catholic schools so it would be special for our students to see the  sacrament take place. Does anyone have any poems or invite ideas we could use? TIA
    It's not appropriate for you to invite anyone to the ceremony and not the reception.



  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    First Anniversary First Answer First Comment 5 Love Its
    edited November 2016
    Skip this altogether.

    For one thing, regardless of anyone's status in your lives, it's rude to invite them to the ceremony but not the reception, which is to thank them for attending the ceremony. Nobody, not even students, feels "thanked" by being asked to attend a ceremony but not hosted afterward. They feel jerked around.

    Second, keep your relationships with your students professional. When you invite them to your personal events, you start blurring lines that need to stay clear.

    And third, just how big a role do any of your students play in your lives on an individual basis? Are you going to remember them, say, 10 or 15 years from now?

    No poems or other "cutesy" wording in invitations make any of this acceptable -- they just compound the rudeness and impropriety of it.

    Also, if you're inviting minors, you also need to invite their parents together with their SOs to both the ceremony and reception to supervise and transport their kids. 
  • Okay, I'm Catholic, and I get this idea. The wedding Mass is open to the whole Church. I have personally attended wedding Masses for acquaintances when not invited to the reception (they were getting married on campus and it was easy). I also had a few acquaintances from growing up (parish friends, but not close enough family friends to get an invite) attend our wedding Mass, say hi, and take off. They'd heard when it was and thought it would be fun to see me get married. I think that's awesome.

    However, you can't invite your students in any way, shape, or form. You just can't invite someone to the ceremony only - it's super rude. Essentially it says that "we want you to make time to see us get married, but we can't be bothered to host you after." The only thing you can do is tell them when/where the ceremony is, if they ask, and hope they and their parents know that anyone is welcome to show up for a wedding Mass. I presume it's in the same parish as the school where at least one of you teaches?
    Families can read the Banns and know which weekend the wedding takes place.  

  • MobKaz said:
    Okay, I'm Catholic, and I get this idea. The wedding Mass is open to the whole Church. I have personally attended wedding Masses for acquaintances when not invited to the reception (they were getting married on campus and it was easy). I also had a few acquaintances from growing up (parish friends, but not close enough family friends to get an invite) attend our wedding Mass, say hi, and take off. They'd heard when it was and thought it would be fun to see me get married. I think that's awesome.

    However, you can't invite your students in any way, shape, or form. You just can't invite someone to the ceremony only - it's super rude. Essentially it says that "we want you to make time to see us get married, but we can't be bothered to host you after." The only thing you can do is tell them when/where the ceremony is, if they ask, and hope they and their parents know that anyone is welcome to show up for a wedding Mass. I presume it's in the same parish as the school where at least one of you teaches?
    Families can read the Banns and know which weekend the wedding takes place.  

    I know that all parishes are supposed to do this, but I also know that not all do post the banns. Reading them is how some of the family friends did find out about our wedding. Professional and etiquette reasons are why I included the bolded phrase - I definitely don't think she should bring it up.

    OP, I emailed a picture to the parents of my students (after the fact, obviously) of the whole congregation with their hands extended over us for the nuptial blessing (I run a parish's religious ed program), and told them they could share/explain with the kids about the sacrament if they wanted.
  • Whether you agree with the idea or not, I felt that this was way more rude...
  • Whether you agree with the idea or not, I felt that this was way more rude...
    If you check the date on the last post, it is more than two years old.  It is considered bad form to revive a zombie post.  Please check the dates before commenting on an old post.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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