From the internet ...

Re: From the internet ...

• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2016

  Pretty much everything we preach here.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• SP29 member

  

  November 2016 edited November 2016

  Yup. Pretty much spot on (minus the donation in lieu of favours)
  
  Reading the comments was interesting...
  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2016

  SP29 said:

  Yup. Pretty much spot on (minus the donation in lieu of favours)
  
  Reading the comments was interesting...
  

  Some of the comments were pretty defensive.   They didn't say get rid of those things, just don't put some much time and energy into them because the guests just don't care as much as you think they do.  They notice, food, drink, music in a comfortable environment the most.

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• ernursej member

  

  November 2016

  The comments were the entertaining part!

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• DrillSergeantCat member

  

  November 2016

  "How on earth is this supposed to be helpful??? All this does is make brides feel like our wedding isn’t special and frankly why bother even having one. You may want to find a different line of work. Seriously!"
  
  A wedding isn't special! Thousands of people get married every day. The only special part about it is the two people getting married.
  
  "It’s not about the guests and what they like. It’s about what the bride wants, who cares what guest wants? They guests want whatever they get, they are just happy to be invited."
  
  Oh my...just no. Sit down.
  
  "There’s one way of looking at it is that as long as the couple is satisfied with what they spending the money on is great… the wedding and decor is all about the bride 75% and the groom 25%. You just want to make sure your guest is having a great time. Everything should matter to the couple and forget the guest until it’s time for the party…"
  
  That's an interesting formula.
  
  "Guess it’s a good thing you don’t plan the wedding for your guests anyway. If you like these elements do it! I’m not planning my wedding to please guests. I do hope they enjoy themselves but their purpose for coming is to share in my day not be impressed. Maybe my invitations need to say if you’re coming just to see what it will be like don’t come at all!"
  
  If it's not for your guests, why have any?

  

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• lyndausvi mod

  

  November 2016

  Yeah, like I said earlier, some of the comments were too defensive.   And clearly people do not understand the concept of hosting.   There is some weird perception that if you are getting married you don't need to be a good host.
  
  News flash - you can be getting married and be a good host at the same time.  It doesn't even have to be stressful.    Feed them, give them something to drink, add in some music of some sort (doesn't have to be dancing) and put the in a comfortable setting (with a chair for their derriere).  
  
   If you have the time and energy to spent on the other details, great.  Go for it. No one is stopping you.  Just letting you know most people will not care about some of the details as much as you.  That doesn't make the guests ungrateful entitled assholes either.  
  
  Let's face it, how many times have you heard  "OMG, did you see those programs?   Amazing I tell you.  Simply amazing.  And the linens?  My, my those napkins were the most beautiful napkin I've ever wiped my mouth on."
  
  
  
  A few months ago I worked a wedding that spent 5 figures on napkins.   Just napkins.   They were hand embroidered  with their initials.    Did it look nice on the table?   Sure.  Did the guests appreciate all the work that went into those napkins?  Nope, not at all.   

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
  

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• CharmedPam member

  

  November 2016

  The wedding dance for sure.  We chose "right here waiting for you" by Richard Marx and it was a damn long song even for us!  I found out later a lot of people stepped out for it anyway. 

  
  

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• SaintPaulGal member

  

  November 2016

  Not fond of the charity donation in lieu of favors (obviously!) or the assertion that guests are super invested in the venue.  Stunning venues are nice, but IMO they fall into that same "make for pretty pictures and nice ambiance but on the whole unnecessary" category as stunning florals/cakes/dresses/etc.
  
  The rest is good advice, and I have to agree that it's pretty amusing how defensive some people can get.  I mean, to use myself as an example, we plan to spring for (moderately) fancy invitations because it's something that WE love. But I am well aware that vanishingly few of the people being invited will give a shit, and if it meant cutting stuff that people do actually care about you can bet your bottom dollar we would have simple invites and enough chairs/quality food/hosted bar*/other basic hosting requirements.
  
  (Not saying booze is always required, but we are spirits enthusiasts known for our cocktail nights and it would be completely bizarre if we had a dry wedding.)
  
  In other news: the bridal boutique that published that blog is like 2 miles from my house.  Small world!

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