I love both my sisters dearly and they are being very generous and wanting to host an elaborate bridal shower as well as bachelorette weekend for me. My FI and I just spent the holiday weekend with them and their husbands and they threw us a beautiful surprise engagement party with all of my extended family.
Both of us have some pretty strong social anxiety and struggle being the center of attention, so thank goodness we had each other there and will have one another to help get through the actual wedding day.
When both of my sisters got married in the last three years, we did the bridal shower and bachelorette weekend thing for them and everyone had a great time at all these events. They are both social butterflies and loved all of the attention.
I on the other hand am extremely shy and don't enjoy being the center of things and don't really want to have all ofthese pre wedding parties.
We live in three different states, so no matter what, two of us would end up having to fly twice this year on top of then traveling to the wedding. They both have the resources to travel and host these events, but that much travel and time off work while trying to plan and save for the actual wedding will be a stretch for me.
My FI and I have a microscopic budget for the wedding and at this point I'm kinda starting to wonder if it's at all okay to say "sisters, I love you and appreciate all you want to do for me, but you know how I feel about being in the spotlight. I don't really want all of these extra parties and attention, but if you really want to help us celebrate maybe you could put the money you have budgeted for all of these celebrations into X thing for our wedding"
I'm curious if I'm just being a brat and should just let them celebrate with me the way they want to, or if it's okay to continue in my role as the black sheep and decline their generous offers. I'm leaning towards declining, and am wondering if it's at all appropriate to ask them to shift their party budget to something else wedding related. Thoughts?