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Chit Chat
luvskittles55
member
Open House baby shower?
in Chit Chat
I'm invited to an "open house" baby shower this Sunday. It's at the couples house so they are clearly throwing it themselves.
Mostly I'm annoyed because it's happening during NFL playoffs, if I'm being honest haha. I will suck it up and go because I care about them, so this is more of a vent.
But...this seems tacky right? My BF says "who cares" but I think it's odd. From the looks of the e invite, over 100 people are invited. I'm guessing open house means I don't have to watch them open gifts? Has anyone had experience with these before?
Mostly I'm annoyed because it's happening during NFL playoffs, if I'm being honest haha. I will suck it up and go because I care about them, so this is more of a vent.
But...this seems tacky right? My BF says "who cares" but I think it's odd. From the looks of the e invite, over 100 people are invited. I'm guessing open house means I don't have to watch them open gifts? Has anyone had experience with these before?
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Re: Open House baby shower?
Sounds like a level 800 gift grab. If you go, I would probably just bring a card. Maybe a small gift if you really love them and you're giving them a pass.
It's the open-house, self-hosted, 100 guest shower that makes it tacky.
I'd still go if you are close to these people, but it gets a side eye from me.
In DH's family baby showers are always co-ed, always hosted by the couple, always potluck...they claim it's cultural but I just can't get on board. I went to his sister's, but I skip cousins he's not close with. It's fine to skip if you're not close to this couple.
It's possible that someone else might be hosting at the couple's house because it is large enough, well equipped or conveniently located for the guests. If that's the case, the hosts' names should have been on the invitations. I've never heard of anyone hosting their own baby shower. That would be tacky and gift grabby.
Nice pun @MobKaz
But I wouldn't go as it's an open house for a gift giving event. Seems more like 'drop off your gift between 2-4 Saturday' rather than a party
Unfortunately it's a couple my SO is close with so it's one of those things you just look the other way. I didn't spend a ton on the gift since, you know, 100 people were invited. Story is mom to be hates attention that's why they are doing it this way. I call BS but *shrug*.
Makes no sense to me.
Agree with this x10. I think an open house party would be a great set-up for a "Meet the New Baby" event. To which, of my own choosing, I would probably bring a gift if I hadn't given one already.
But a shower is, by definition, a gift giving event. So agree with the other PPs that it's just super tacky and gift grabby to be hosting a "give me gifts" party...for oneself.
And I'm rolling my eyes so hard at the "I don't like attention" that I had trouble bringing them back to the front of my face where they need to be. If a person "doesn't like attention", than don't throw a party for 100 people...especially the kind of party that doesn't typically have a guest list of 100 people...and you shouldn't be throwing for yourself anyway. Pretty simple math there. GEEZ!
Since you and your SO feel obligated to go, I would at least use the open house set-up to not feel "guilty" about making an appearance and not planning to stay long. Hopefully you all can plan that appearance with as little impact on the NFL playoffs as possible...like a quick visit around halftime or before/at the beginning of the game.
I don't necessarily side-eye the party is being held during the NFL playoffs. But if you all live in a city that still has a team with a dog in that fight, it does seem like poor/weird planning.
Sorry, snark aside, I probably wouldn't go. It sounds really gift-grabby to me, not simply because they are hosting it themselves. It's also the fact that it's open-house, which means they can invite Aunt Mae's third cousin twice removed and her new BF, where if it was a normal baby shower where 100 people would probably not be able to be hosted comfortably, these guests probably wouldn't have even made the "B" list. Open house gift-giving event says to me "Let's invite every single person we know and get as many people to buy us things as we can."
I'd not go and not feel guilty about it.
So, if the expectant couple had big families and a lot of friends, at least open house lets you come and go as you please and not suffer through 100 presents and stilted conversation. Maybe the couple will open your gift as soon as you arrive.
That's the silver lining, to me, on an otherwise tacky event.
I also appreciate the fact that I do not have to sit through 100+ gifts. You're right, total silver lining.
I'm just judging so hard right now!
Ask the guests to bring unnwrapped presents, and display them with pride on a table set up to show the presents off. Everyone who wants to can still ooh and awe over 20 onsies and five bottles of baby soap. Plus, the quilt Grandma worked on for five months can get the attention it deserves. Hell, the parents of the baby would be so over joyed to see dear friends and family that they wouldn't even care if some guest didn't bring gifts, I know the gift of seeing people that I cannot see often is better than all of the onsies they could have brought.
Serve real food, even if it's just sandwiches and sheet cake or grilled hamburgers and pie. Maybe have a punch bowl that bored guests can spike, in their own glass of course, or even a cooler of beer for the adults that would like to drink.
If there is space for it, set up games kids can play, like baby and stork themed corn hole/ bean bag toss, or an onsie decorating station. Set up a table so that guests can address their thank you notes. Maybe have a guess the due date game. Make all of the games and activities inclusive, so that the youngest of kids and the oldest of elders of could be included.
The idea is to turn a sexist and exclusive thing like a baby shower and turn it into an inclusive family celebration, because whether or not you think so, it is a family event.
Oh and please stop the stigma of being able to throw your own party. If you have friends or family that can do it for you, so much the better. But if you don't have anyone do to it for you, should you not be allowed to celebrate?
I've certainly been able to talk to the mother-to-be.
How are the games sexist? Again, not sure what kind of parties you're attending.
You're certainly making a lot of assumptions.
Also, this post is 2.5 years old.
Many of the wedding showers I attend are co-ed. My daughter did have a more “traditional” baby shower, but children were included if the parent chose to bring them. We hosted a co-ed baby shower when my son and his wife were expecting. The showers hosted in my family have ridiculous amounts of food, and alcohol.
I will attribute your post to being hungry and in need of a good drink.
Feel free to start a new thread on this topic.