I am a 28 year old woman with a problem. My boyfriend and I have been together almost a 1 1/2 years and he moved in last May. The relationship overall has moved pretty fast. I told him I did not want him moving in without an engagement in the near future and since that is not happening, I have been very upset. My family is aware of the situation.
Over Christmas, even though my boyfriend has not purchased a ring, he asked my parents for permission to propose. We live across the country, so he might not get a chance to ask in-person for awhile. This was a very big step, and my family was very excited. Literally 4 hours after that, my sister's boyfriend asked, then he proposed 2 days later.
This whole situation has made me very upset for a number of reasons.
1-my boyfriend asked first. my sister's boyfriend made no consideration of that, and now we will have to wai to get engaged to not "overshadow" her moment. I also feel like I will never get my moment(s), since my sister will have had all of hers first.
2-my mom told me "well, your sister is engaged because her boyfriend could afford a ring and yours cant". while my boyfriend is saving for a ring, my sister told me that her boyfriend is actually making payments on the ring he proposed to her with. even worse, my sister told her boyfriend that he could not propose until he had paid fully for it. well he did anyway.
3-No one in my family has been sympathetic to me, or will admit that my feelings should be hurt. I have been crying every day I am so upset and stressed. My sister was angry over Christmas about her boyfriend doing something (before the engagement) and my mom and dad literally left me at my grandmother's house and took her home to console her. Her feelings always seem to be a priority over mine.
Another problem is that my mother is under some odd impression that I do not want a wedding. She called me and said "You are just planning on getting married at the courthouse, right?" while calling my sister bugging her about wedding plans. My mother has been extremely involved in all of her friend's daughter's wedding planning as well. After the engagement that's all my mom would talk about and instead of being like "its ok, don't worry" I got a "well.. i guess you're next".
At first, I was happy for my sister. Our boyfriends get along very well. But, as reality sunk in, I got very depressed and realized that this situation is kind of shitty. I feel like my wedding/engagement will never be special because my sister beat me to it. My sister has always been more successful than me and this stings. I have tried talking to her about my feelings (not in a confrontational way) and she literally told me "I just didn't think you were traditional or were ever going to get married".. what?! I've never said that.
Have any of you been through this or have any advice on how to cope?