So, I'm kind of torn here.
I have a friend (well, at this point, it's an acquaintance) that I was close with growing up and since graduating from college, we drifted apart. Not really any bad blood, we were the best of friends, but I was putting a lot of effort into sustaining our friendship, and I kind of just let things drift off at a certain point.
I have not seen her or exchanged more than a couple "Merry Christmas" or "Happy Birthday" texts since October 2013.
Well...I should say I've tried. I've reached out when she's in town, given her the occasional call, text, facebook message, and rarely do I get anything in return. This has not been new behavior. I've simply just accepted this is the way she is. No hard feelings. We are adults, life moves forward. So you can imagine that I was pretty surprised at later events...
She went OFF on me when she found out I had not asked her to be a bridesmaid. Out of nowhere. Called me and told me how angry she was at me and how hurt she was, especially that I had asked friend X from high school (who I still talked to every day at that point) and not her, and went on to say how she was happier for me than any of my other friends could possibly be (she's never even met FI, despite me trying in the past to introduce them). I explained that I felt we had drifted apart due to the fact that she had not answered any texts or phone calls, nor showed up to any prearranged friend dates in 3 years, and just because I didn't ask her doesn't mean I don't care about her. We then seemed to reconnect. She then asked me if she could officiate our ceremony; that it would mean everything to her.
Now. Knowing she has flaked on several important things, and is/was not ordained, I asked if we could sit and talk about it more, and mentioned that FI and I would need to decide on someone relatively soon. She was happy to. We set up a time to Skype. She flaked. Set up another time, no problem, stuff happens. She flaked on that too. FI and I continued to meet with other officiants, and FI had us book someone. He was uncomfortable having a friend do it in the first place, and definitely expressed concerns after she flaked twice.
Fast forward a couple months, friend tells me she'd be in town for a week. Sets up a time with me. I drive the two hours to hometown on a weekday after work, and I get stood up, again. She sent me a text the next morning and said she had something come up. Saw on facebook she was spending time with an ex boyfriend at that time.
So, I'm pretty sure I already know the answer to this, but do I invite her? I suppose I'm more worried that her feelings will get hurt if I don't. I would love to have her there, but honestly? I have a feeling she wouldn't show, even if her feelings would have gotten hurt if she hadn't been invited. She is now out of state, and other than liking things on facebook, we haven't talked. I never told her specifically she would be invited, but I think agreeing to talk with her about officiating would put that out there. As has been said here before, no one will change their behavior just because you're getting married. I'd want her to be there, but I'm worried I'm just beating a dead horse. I certainly have the ability/room/funds to invite her so that's not a concern at all, and an invitation is not a summons, but would it be better to just let it all fizzle out?