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Etiquette

Divorced parents vs. Married parents?

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Re: Divorced parents vs. Married parents?

  • I recommend honoring parents with corsages and boutonnieres. Perhaps you could also include something in your ceremony about the role models you had in your parents.
    "Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
    OurWildKingdomPrettyGirlLost
  • MobKazMobKaz Chicago suburbs member
    Ninth Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    CMGragain said:
     Our wedding is December 2nd, 2017 and my parent's anniversary is on december 21st. They will have be married for 43 years but my fiancé's parents got divorced over 7 years ago. I saw a video online of a couple honoring both parents at their wedding with a surprise vowel renewal and it just broke my heart. I'd love to do something like this for my parents but I don't want to offend or hurt his parents, namely his Mom. (She made comments this weekend during planning that his Dad "better not bring his girlfriend to this personal family affair".) So, I know she's already bracing for the uncomfortable moments. Do you guys have any idea of how I can honor all the parents, or at least honor our parents in different ways (like mine being married for that long, I'd love to surprise them with a vow renewal) so as to not offend his parents or hurt anyone's feelings? Thank you so much!
    I have been married for 40 years.  I can tell you that I would be extremely upset if my children should include a vow renewal for us in their wedding plans, especially if I was not in on it.

    Not everyone is a fan of vow renewals.  I was married "for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, til death us do part."  My vows that I said 40 years ago are still valid.  They do not need renewing.  I feel very strongly about this and I know other people who feel the same.

    I don't mind if other people want to have a vow renewal, but it should be their idea, not yours.  IMHO, your wedding is not the place for your parents to have a vow renewal, if they would even want one.  Please do not do this.
    I'm currently "in" at 39 years.  I, too, would have absolutely hated if my DD had pulled this stunt at her wedding.  I am going to guess that this is the video you caught.  I honestly thought that the parents, particularly the couple in black clothing, looked incredibly uncomfortable.  The deacon made mention that this was an unprecedented request for him.  I can understand why.  It was not the bride's place to request this, regardless of good intention.
    http://www.everythinginspirational.com/surprise-vow-renewal-daughters-wedding/


    SP29
  • I'm side-tracking here but I'm sad that FMiL said that about FFiL's girlfriend.
    You're definitely seating his parents at different tables from each other, right? Possibly with tables in between?
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