My fiancé and I are getting married in a couple months and from the very beginning of planning we knew we wanted a small wedding. With about fifty people invited it is exactly what we wanted, but we certainly had to narrow down the list. For my side that really meant only inviting the couple aunts and uncles I am close to. I was fine with this from the start, but my mother has been very vocal in saying rude it is not to invite them and how hurt they will be, ect. Lately her thing has been to tell all of the not invited family members to not worry about the wedding because she is planning a big BBQ get together the month after the wedding to "really celebrate properly with everyone". How do I politely say that we are not okay with that? I don't care if she wants to have a BBQ and invite the whole family, but I do not want her saying it has anything to do with our wedding, like the BBQ is some kind of consolation prize for not being invited to the wedding. She won't let it go and has probably told twenty or so people about her plans so far. How do I handle this?