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planning

MargniMargni member
First Anniversary First Comment
in Destination Weddings Discussions
Some context first:

Second wedding for me, first for him.
Between us we, have 4 kids.
We're thinking September, out of town.

I've planned my first wedding, and have helped plan others... but I've not done out of town/destination, so I'm trying to think about everything that needs to get done if we want to have a small ceremony/reception, and I'm stressing a little about things I may have missed.

Other than the obvious... what is there to consider for out of town weddings? Do I need to give extra notice to people, given the additional cost if they choose to attend? What about kids? They'll be welcome, but what's the right way to deal with kids at an out of town wedding?

How do you deal with venues/vendors if you're not on site? It's a very small town... so there's not much in terms of pictures/websites/online research...
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Re: planning

  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Is it out of town for you or all of your guests too? You would want to make sure that the small town has enough accommodations for everyone and that it isn't too far from the venue. You said it is a small wedding so word of mouth might be enough but Save the Dates can be sent out, invites should still be sent out 6-8 weeks in advance. As far as venues/vendors go, all the normal things still apply. Find a venue that seats all of the people in attendance, has climate control and bathrooms, etc. Then ask if they have recommendations. If you know people in the small town ask around. Meetings can be done over the phone or over skype. The only vendor DH and I met with before our wedding was the baker and our DOC.
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  • MargniMargni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    missJeanLouise said:
    Is it out of town for you or all of your guests too? You would want to make sure that the small town has enough accommodations for everyone and that it isn't too far from the venue. You said it is a small wedding so word of mouth might be enough but Save the Dates can be sent out, invites should still be sent out 6-8 weeks in advance. As far as venues/vendors go, all the normal things still apply. Find a venue that seats all of the people in attendance, has climate control and bathrooms, etc. Then ask if they have recommendations. If you know people in the small town ask around. Meetings can be done over the phone or over skype. The only vendor DH and I met with before our wedding was the baker and our DOC.
    It is out of town for my family only. My mother and her wife will attend.

    My father isn't likely to, unless I pay for his travel and accommodations... he's not very financially stable.

    I have a few select family members (maybe 6-8?) that may decide to travel, but otherwise I think "my side" will be pretty sparse. 

    We do have a few close friends, here in town, that know we're planning an OOT wedding and have started putting money aside to go.
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  • STARMOON44STARMOON44 member
    First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its Name Dropper
    edited March 2017
    Re kids: if they are invited you don't do anything special. Parents can decide what they want to do. 
    Unless you're talking about your FI's 4 year old in which case he still needs to talk to mom. 


    Re: research- ask local people? You may wind up only having one option and just having to take what you get. 

    Not much different from planning any wedding really. 
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  • MargniMargni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    STARMOON44 said:
     
    Unless you're talking about your FI's 4 year old in which case he still needs to talk to mom. 

    I think you have me confused with someone else
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  • MargniMargni member
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    There are a few options for venues/vendors, but the information I have on them is pretty much all word of mouth, so I'm hoping for the best.

    We'd be ok with a reception of sorts in FI's old family home, though, if the venues aren't suitable. 
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  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2017
    When planning an event that is out of town for you, it is wise to stick with vendors who offer packages.  My daughter's wedding reception was at a country club.  She spoke with the coordinator over the phone, and the club took care of everything.  All I had to do was to write the check.

    Restaurants are a good option for a small reception.  My mother's funeral was in a very small town, and the church was not available after the graveside service.  (She wasn't really a Christian, anyway.)  We wound up at a casual pizza and chicken restaurant.  They had a private room.  It was really very nice!

    Think outside the box.  There are lots of options out there.
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
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  • missJeanLouisemissJeanLouise member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    Vecababy said:
    missJeanLouise said:
    Is it out of town for you or all of your guests too? You would want to make sure that the small town has enough accommodations for everyone and that it isn't too far from the venue. You said it is a small wedding so word of mouth might be enough but Save the Dates can be sent out, invites should still be sent out 6-8 weeks in advance. As far as venues/vendors go, all the normal things still apply. Find a venue that seats all of the people in attendance, has climate control and bathrooms, etc. Then ask if they have recommendations. If you know people in the small town ask around. Meetings can be done over the phone or over skype. The only vendor DH and I met with before our wedding was the baker and our DOC.
    It is out of town for my family only. My mother and her wife will attend.

    My father isn't likely to, unless I pay for his travel and accommodations... he's not very financially stable.

    I have a few select family members (maybe 6-8?) that may decide to travel, but otherwise I think "my side" will be pretty sparse. 

    We do have a few close friends, here in town, that know we're planning an OOT wedding and have started putting money aside to go.
    I am confused. Is the wedding in your town, where you and your friends are or not? Not that it changes too much, I am just confused.

    How many people are you inviting to the the wedding? A reception at a restaurant could work really well if your guest list is small enough. :) I considered word of mouth reviews to be the best. I am sure everything will be wonderful.
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  • MargniMargni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    missJeanLouise said:
    Vecababy said:
    missJeanLouise said:
    Is it out of town for you or all of your guests too? You would want to make sure that the small town has enough accommodations for everyone and that it isn't too far from the venue. You said it is a small wedding so word of mouth might be enough but Save the Dates can be sent out, invites should still be sent out 6-8 weeks in advance. As far as venues/vendors go, all the normal things still apply. Find a venue that seats all of the people in attendance, has climate control and bathrooms, etc. Then ask if they have recommendations. If you know people in the small town ask around. Meetings can be done over the phone or over skype. The only vendor DH and I met with before our wedding was the baker and our DOC.
    It is out of town for my family only. My mother and her wife will attend.

    My father isn't likely to, unless I pay for his travel and accommodations... he's not very financially stable.

    I have a few select family members (maybe 6-8?) that may decide to travel, but otherwise I think "my side" will be pretty sparse. 

    We do have a few close friends, here in town, that know we're planning an OOT wedding and have started putting money aside to go.
    I am confused. Is the wedding in your town, where you and your friends are or not? Not that it changes too much, I am just confused.

    How many people are you inviting to the the wedding? A reception at a restaurant could work really well if your guest list is small enough. :) I considered word of mouth reviews to be the best. I am sure everything will be wonderful.
    Sorry, I wasn't too clear.

    The wedding will be in FI's hometown, his family will not need to travel, but our friends and my family will. 

    Our guest list is fairly small, approximately 30.

    His immediate family (siblings and their kids, his parents are deceased)
    My immediate family (siblings and their kids, my parents)
    A few of our closets friends

    With this list, we'd only need half a dozen rooms or so, accommodations won't be a problem.


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  • charlotte989875charlotte989875 member
    First Anniversary First Comment First Answer 5 Love Its
    I planned a large wedding from OOT the key is making sure you're organized and reminding vendors you're not in town to meet regularly. If you take a trip back prioritize what you need to be in person for v what really can be done over the phone/email. I found many vendors wanted to meet in person and that I'd have to remind them I couldn't just pop in for a meeting. It helped that we had a clear idea of what we wanted and didn't want so we didn't really need a lot of back and forth with vendors. Even if there's not much online vendors should be able to send you either photos or references of their work. 

    I would give your OOT guest as much notice as you can so they can make arrangements, with a small guest list you probably won't need a room block but it might help to have names of the closest hotels. As for child care, you don't need to do anything, but if you know of reputable sitters in the area (with references in possible) having some names and recommendations might help out guests with children. 

    Other than that there's not much difference in town v OOT; some vendors might be harder to work with, we limited our choices to ones we could easily check out online (but we were married in a fairly large city) and guests that are traveling may have more questions, but it's pretty much the same thing. 
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  • LadyCatherineDBLadyCatherineDB member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment Name Dropper
    Your wedding sounds about the size of mine. I also recommend looking at party rooms or private rooms of restaurants. That way, you don't need to worry about rentals, you reduce the number of vendors with whom you interact and combine the food and venue cost. I found searching for "rehearsal dinner spaces" on Yelp and other sites at the start of my planning gave me the best results.
    "Marriage is so disruptive to one's social circle." - Mr. Woodhouse
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  • MargniMargni member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    Thanks all - we've actually talked more about it this week... and I think we're going to do a small wedding in town, and then a party with his family a little later on.
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