Chit Chat

Just curious..

charlieray-2charlieray-2 member
Third Anniversary 25 Love Its 10 Comments Name Dropper
edited April 2017 in Chit Chat
Hi everyone. I always lurk, and I've posted a few times. But I'm actually pretty curious about this (and work was stupidly stressful today, so)...

What is the weirdest piece of unsolicited advice or assumption that you've heard when you were planning your wedding (or any time really)?

'Advice' we've heard:
That we should get married now and have a PPD later -
FBIL suggested this (out of the blue really, we weren't even talking about the wedding) "so [we] have more time to save for our big wedding."
FI's granny also suggested this because "[we]'ve already been living in sin for too long."

Assumptions people have made:
That the wine we're serving will be $5/glass -
I don't even know where my parents got the idea that our wine bar will be a cash bar, let alone where they pulled this number from. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Anyone else have some silly-ness to share?
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Re: Just curious..

  • I got told that I should be inviting children to my wedding. Um, no. My wedding = adults only thank you very much.
    charlieray-2southernbelle0915
  • bleve0821bleve0821 The Shire member
    1000 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary First Answer
    I was told we weren't allowed to elope because "MIL would have a heart attack if her eldest did that."  We didn't elope, but I knew, if we did, MIL would have supported us.... and I'd be lying if I said that didn't make me want to elope.


    "And when they use our atoms to make new lives, they won’t just be able to take one, they’ll have to take two, one of you and one of me..."
    --Philip Pullman

    ei34OurWildKingdomcharlieray-2
  • I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    charlieray-2ei34ahoywedding
  • There were so many But You Haaave Tos. You have to have a bridal party, you have to pick colors, you have to pick out bridesmaids dresses, you have to register, blah blah blah.

    ya know what? I only had bridesmaids because my Sister and SIL wanted to be bridesmaids. They wore whatever they wanted and nothing was expected of them besides showing up. (Though they were completely invaluable the days before but it had nothing with being a bridesmaid) We figured out a feel for our decor but nothing followed any colors. We made a small registry and no one used it, lol.

    and we are just as married as anyone else. :)
    charlieray-2
  • I had many people recommend we have a honeyfund. Since we had lived together for a year before getting engaged, everyone assumed we had everything we needed that would go on a typical registry and so they thought they were giving me a "fun, unique" idea. We paid for our own honeymoon and we registered because we were still eating off the plastic plates I had from my apartment in law school!  

    I also had a larger than average bridal shower because my extended family is large (we are having 27 people for Easter dinner on Sunday to give you an idea). A couple of my aunts suggested the hosts ask guests to bring unwrapped gifts to save time. I nixed that idea as well. 
    charlotte989875charlieray-2
  • This is kind of silly but my mom wanted multiple polka songs played because that is "what everyone else played at weddings". I didn't tell the DJ "do not play", but figured if enough people asked they would play it. No biggie.
    charlieray-2
  • Ro041Ro041 member
    Seventh Anniversary 1000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer
    @Lulawife  - we have gotten the same suggestion over and over again.  We have already paid for our honeymoon, so I am not sure what we would even "register" for.  

    Lulawife
  • I was told that if I don't have bridesmaids, I at least need to have a personal attendant, for whatever assistance I'll need. Whatever that means. I also must have a rehearsal, a rehearsal dinner, a bridal shower... I get told what to do all the time.

    My other friend also told me to have a large gap to make time for pictures so I could still enjoy cocktail hour.
    charlieray-2
  • I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    Omg..this is what I'm doing and I keep hearing it too. FSIL even told me that I needed to send her a color sample.. it's navy, just navy, I don't care if it's half a shade off.
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    charlotte989875ei34
  • I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    Omg..this is what I'm doing and I keep hearing it too. FSIL even told me that I needed to send her a color sample.. it's navy, just navy, I don't care if it's half a shade off.
    Right?! I didn't think that one was all that hard. Apparently so. 
    charlieray-2
  • I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    Omg..this is what I'm doing and I keep hearing it too. FSIL even told me that I needed to send her a color sample.. it's navy, just navy, I don't care if it's half a shade off.
    Right?! I didn't think that one was all that hard. Apparently so. 


    I only had a MOH (my sister) and my instructions were to wear a solid red dress (no patterns).  Didn't really care about the length, style, or fabric.  My mom called to warn me that red can come in a lot of shades.  And even shades that look similar might be really off from each other.

    To be fair, I think she was more testing the waters to make sure I wasn't going to go "bridezilla" if my sister's dress color was different from the color of the red embroidery throughout my gown.  I just assured her I totally understood that.  It would be fine.  And if I didn't like the color or the dress, I'd just roll with it and not say anything.

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  • I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    Omg..this is what I'm doing and I keep hearing it too. FSIL even told me that I needed to send her a color sample.. it's navy, just navy, I don't care if it's half a shade off.
    Right?! I didn't think that one was all that hard. Apparently so. 
    The same thing happened to me, but with charcoal grey dresses. I just said charcoal grey and knee length - and I didn't care if the dress was cotton, tweed, or chiffon. So long as my bridesmaids/MOH were happy and comfortable, I was happy. However, people - not in the wedding party - kept telling me I was being "too lenient" because what if the dresses "clashed"? Oh brother. The things people worry about lol. 
  • CMGragainCMGragain member
    10000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 25 Answers
    edited April 2017
    "OMG!  You are marrying Jane's son?  She will be your mother-in-law!  You had better be moving far away!"  (We did.)
    httpiimgurcomTCCjW0wjpg
    OurWildKingdomshort+sassyei34lizybeff
  • My aunt is convinced that we have to have a rehearsal dinner and my FH's parents have to pay for it because TRADITION. But we're not having a rehearsal so in fact we don't need to have a rehearsal dinner, tradition or otherwise.

    I think she's salty because she has three sons and probably had to pay for three rehearsal dinners.

    short+sassycowgirl8238OurWildKingdom
  • The entire lead up to my wedding was me being told how I should do x or can't do y.

    You can't buy your dress online! You can't only invite immediate family! You have to have a big wedding, no one is going! You have to have a bridal party. You have to have a big dinner afterwards.

    No, thanks. I rocked my department store/online "wedding" dress at my City Hall wedding with only immediate family and had a lovely lunch afterwards. GFY, Grandma and my coworkers.
    short+sassyei34
  • FMIL said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married (not happening, btw).  In the next breath she said she's not coming if it's not in a Catholic Church (it's not in a Catholic Church, it's not in any church in fact, so she'll be double disappointed). 

    Several people said I HAVE to have flowers.  No, I don't have to, I don't like flowers, they remind me of funerals and they die or get thrown away.  Someone said I should have all my BMs in different dresses but the same color.  Nice for some people but not for me, I'm too anal retentive.  Someone else said I shouldn't have 2 Matrons of Honor.  I'm sure there's more, and more to come.  My wedding, my decisions.

    Met: 5/4/16
    Dating: 6/21/16
    Engaged: 3/20/17
    Wedding: 2/24/18
    Greenjinjo
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    divarhd said:

    FMIL said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married (not happening, btw).  In the next breath she said she's not coming if it's not in a Catholic Church (it's not in a Catholic Church, it's not in any church in fact, so she'll be double disappointed). 

    Several people said I HAVE to have flowers.  No, I don't have to, I don't like flowers, they remind me of funerals and they die or get thrown away.  Someone said I should have all my BMs in different dresses but the same color.  Nice for some people but not for me, I'm too anal retentive.  Someone else said I shouldn't have 2 Matrons of Honor.  I'm sure there's more, and more to come.  My wedding, my decisions.


    SITB

    To the bolded: Your FMIL's logic baffles me. 

    DrillSergeantCat
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    eileenrob said:
    I was told I couldn't tell my BMs to just get floor length navy dresses in whatever style they wanted because there are too many shades of navy. 
    Mine was BM dress related too!  A handful of people were dismayed to learn that my MOHs and BM were wearing black.  Everyone wears black and the issue was that they wouldn't stand out.  MOHs and BM were asked to pick a color they agreed on, and it was unanimously black.  Who doesn't love black?  Why should my WP have had to wear a color?
    Everyone looks good in black, if it's the right style for them.
    ei34
  • divarhd said:

    FMIL said she thinks I should be pregnant when we get married (not happening, btw).  In the next breath she said she's not coming if it's not in a Catholic Church (it's not in a Catholic Church, it's not in any church in fact, so she'll be double disappointed). 

    Several people said I HAVE to have flowers.  No, I don't have to, I don't like flowers, they remind me of funerals and they die or get thrown away.  Someone said I should have all my BMs in different dresses but the same color.  Nice for some people but not for me, I'm too anal retentive.  Someone else said I shouldn't have 2 Matrons of Honor.  I'm sure there's more, and more to come.  My wedding, my decisions.


    SITB

    To the bolded: Your FMIL's logic baffles me. 


    My friend could have written the bolded verbatim about her (now) MIL...except the part where her MIL refused to come.  The MIL complained about the wedding not being in a Catholic Church until she was blue in the face, but at least never made it an ultimatum.

    And, yes, this strongly religious/prudish woman took my friend aside right after the engagement and told her "now that she's engaged, they should start trying for babies right away, it's okay, they don't need to wait until they get married".  She also gifted my friend sexy nightgowns, nothing too extreme, but nightgowns more on the satiny or lacy side.  Then after my friend had the first grandchild, it was back to more normal gifts and pajama sets, lol. 

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    OurWildKingdom
  • "No the grooms family pays for alcohol, not the brides family!"

    Yeah no, my Dad owns a liquor store, H's Dad is a recovering alcoholic, but thanks.


    charlotte989875OurWildKingdomsparklepants41lc07
  • My fiance and I went to look at tuxedos, with this exact combination in mind. I even called ahead to make sure they carried the brand and items, as it looks sharp, and goes perfect with our barn venue style, and the latte matches the sash on my bridesmaids Ivory lace dresses. The store turned out to have the vest available, but since line had been discontinued, we could not find any matching neckties (only bow ties) or pocket squares. While deliberating other options, one of the sales girls said to me "What would Posses you to pick those colors?"
  • OurWildKingdomOurWildKingdom in the 216 member
    2500 Comments 500 Love Its Third Anniversary 5 Answers
    I think that combination looks snazzy! 
    short+sassy
  • thisismynickname2thisismynickname2 City By The Lake member
    5000 Comments Sixth Anniversary 500 Love Its First Answer
    I was told that having mis-matched black BM dresses wasn't a good idea because "blacks clash" and "the pictures would look bad."  Guess what, the pictures look fabulous; and, one BM and a groomswoman grabbed old black dresses from their closets and the other two BMs bought new black dresses they've worn plenty of times since. 

    My sister told me 7:30 was too late to start dinner.... because she didn't realize cocktail hour had food. She'd been to so many weddings where cocktail hour didn't have food that she assumed we wouldn't have food. Yikes. 
    ________________________________


  • CharmedPamCharmedPam Chicagoburbs member
    Seventh Anniversary 5000 Comments 500 Love Its First Answer


    My fiance and I went to look at tuxedos, with this exact combination in mind. I even called ahead to make sure they carried the brand and items, as it looks sharp, and goes perfect with our barn venue style, and the latte matches the sash on my bridesmaids Ivory lace dresses. The store turned out to have the vest available, but since line had been discontinued, we could not find any matching neckties (only bow ties) or pocket squares. While deliberating other options, one of the sales girls said to me "What would Posses you to pick those colors?"


    I LOVE that look! And it sounds like it goes well with the BM's.   People! 

    short+sassy
  • I come from a huge extended family and over the weekend at Easter I heard so many "Oh! We can't wait for wedding!" 

    Uh, who said I was inviting everyone? 
    image
    thisismynickname2Knottieefaf7386d0d3ff70knottie78c11d9fe14972fa
  • My aunt thinks I should carry this down the aisle....
    Met: 5/4/16
    Dating: 6/21/16
    Engaged: 3/20/17
    Wedding: 2/24/18
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